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Friday, June 08, 2007
Polyphemus Has Hatched!!!
Finally, after long winter months inside a jar, the Polyphemus has hatched into a beautiful Moth.
It has about a six inch wing span and the "eye's" are irridencent. The picture doesn't show it well but it is a pinkish shade of brown. Any of you that don't remember what the worm it hatched out of looked like, you can see pictures on my last post.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Trying To Find Some Inspiration!
Sitting here alone, bored, and feeling quite depressed. Life just isn't working out for this old girl lately. I have found a passion that makes me smile a little though. I would like to thank Sandi over at My Soap Box for the inspiration. Enjoy! 
Living Life With Unfurled Wings Means You Won't Be Able To Fly!
 Can You Guess It's Name??? Look Closely
And Use Imagination!  Beauty From Within It's Depth's!
Pollen Dust To Pollen Dust!
 A Face Within!  Some Fall Color!   And Last The Newest Addition To Our Household. A Polyphemus Moth Caterpillar! (Of course he will be let go to cocoon and overwinter to become a beautiful moth with a 5 1/2 in wing span in the spring) Hope you enjoyed a few of the Simple Things In Life. Thanks again Sandi!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
School Daze
Once again we must put away our flip flops and beach towels and head back to school. Today my baby starts High School. This is her...she has grown up so much in the past few months... 
It certainly has been a summer to remember. We have laughed and loved, and even fought like bobcats at times. Overall it was a terrific summer. Baby is looking forward to a new school and new friends and new teachers this year. She will be leaving behind some of the younger students that she became best friends with last year but we live right in town so she'll still be able to see them after school. She will also be leaving behind her boyfriend. He is a grade behind her. They are very close in age but Baby started school when she was 4. I would love to post a pic of them together but the little shits won't let me get any new shots of them. He is a very nice boy and has stolen my heart, or at least a big piece of it. He isn't without fault...he dumped my baby twice this summer...and some of you might think she's stupid for taking him back but you wouldn't say that if you could see them together. I actually like that he has faults...makes him very interesting. They are both having a hard time with the fact that they will be in different schools this year but I honestly think it will be for the best. Instead of meeting each other in hallways and glancing at the classroom door every five minutes to see if the other might be walking by, they will be able to concentrate of thier schoolwork and and still be able to see each other after school and on weekends. And as all of us know time apart makes it less boring when we are together.
Well, enough about the two of them...High School!!! Wow! When did my precious little girl grow up to become a freshman? Seems like just yesterday I was playing jump rope with her and reading stories at bedtime. She is a beautiful young lady with a strong sense of values and a pretty good mind. I hope she goes far in life and reaches for the stars. I remember my high school years. Times were so different back then. That was the day when smoking was permitted by students, and a lot of us were hyped up on speed before our first class started. High School dances were no more than a make out session in every corner and although most of us got fairly decent grades, there wasn't as much pressure to excel to the highest level. I squeaked by with B's C's and D's...and an occasional F. Now kids are expected to get straight A's. They can't smoke, which is a good thing, and if caught with drugs juvey would be their nesting place for a while. All in all I'm hoping for a terrific year without much drama. I would like to see my babe form some long lasting friendships and experience something new every day. I still can't believe she's in High School already...where has the time gone?
Friday, April 28, 2006
Lazy Spring Day!
Now, You have to really study this picture to appreciate it.
It is a beautiful spring day here in Central Maine and the sun has a warmth to it that we've been waiting for. Notice the nice comfotable sunny padded chair on my deck. Then notice where the cat is. She would rather curl into a little ball in a dirty plant pot then sprawl out in the sun on a nice cushion. I never understood cats! But I love them! (It's difficult to make out but also notice the perfect star shape on her back. Kewl huh!)  Just another view of her...she looks a bit peturbed that I interrupted her cat nap! Gee, I'm glad I hadn't planted my flowers in that pot yet!
Thursday, April 06, 2006
How Evil Am I? Geesh...And I Thought I Was The Wicked Witch Of The East
***You Are 44% Evil***
You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.
How Evil Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/
Monday, February 20, 2006
Life Goes On!
Been a couple of weeks since I've posted so I thought I'd give it a whirl this morning since I am the only one up. Hubby on vacation and is taking advantage of the chance to sleep in.
Very cold here. You might be thinking, Hey it's Maine in Winter....Supposed to be cold, but these last couple of days have been the coldest yet in this freaky Maine Winter. No snow still and looks like nothing in the near future. I hate it and I long for cross country skiing. Only exercise I usually get in winter.
Cheering is OVER! YAY FOR ME! Well, technically it is but they have asked me to put together my cheerleaders and their parents to cheer for a benefit game between 8th grade players and faculty members. I think it will be a lot of fun. That will happen mid week next week and I only need to have one little practice to teach moms the sidelines and a few call back cheers. Will let you know how it goes.
Unfortunately this is another of those posts where I need to vent. Baby Girl is taking me to the end of my rope and I feel like I've lost ALL control on this parenting thing with her. She still has boyfriend number one and as far as I can see they are getting along pretty good. He seems like a very nice boy. Although I think this really started when the boyfriend came into the picture I can't blame him for the attitude of my daughter lately. Let me start by telling you a little bit about my realationship with my baby. When I was growing up, parenting was a little different. Both of my parents worked and dad was drunk all the time. Mom spent her days working cooking cleaning and dealing with a drunk husband so although they fed and clothed me, I basically grew up all by myself. I can't remember even one conversation with my parents about anything happening in my teen years. When I had my daughter I swore that it would never be that way with her and I. I wanted her to grow up knowing she could come to me with anything and that I'd always have an open ear for her. Up until now that has played out very well. Her and I spend a ton of time together since Hubby works all the time and crazy shifts. Baby and I are best friends and enjoy each others company...well, until recently. A few months ago I notice the teen girl attitude coming out. She started getting mouthy and showing that she wanted more space/freedom. She started withdrawing from conversations with me and started spending more time in her room. This past week she has withdrawn from conversation with me even more. I try to talk with her about the stuff going on and she refuses to see it as a big deal. I tell her I'm tired of the tension between us and the way she shuts me out and she just responds with "Mom, I'm not". Then she goes back into her room and ignores me the rest of the day. Now, I totally expect this at this age. I knew the days would come where she would want to grow into her own person, find herself and who she really is. People have told me that this too shall pass and she will eventually start letting me into her life a little at a time. This too I expect. I think what has me bothered by all the recent events is that for one, she has never NOT talked to me about her feelings and happenings in her life before, and two it all happened so quickly. One day we were just normal around here, the occasional spat but still a ton of love and respect. Overnight, literally, she withdrew and stopped talking and was just SO damned angry with me it seemed. I played things over and over in my mind to see if I had done something to make her hate me and Hubby and I talked about it and there is just no reason for her to be shutting me out. We are extremely giving as far as her freedoms go. Let me explain...She is allowed to have friends over, as many as she wants, at any given time of any day. No questions asked. If it is mealtime around here any kids in the house are asked to join us, even if it's a tight grocery week. She is allowed to have a boyfriend at age 13 and trusted enough to be allowed to have a boy in her room, as long as the door is open. They can hold hands in front of us and even a few peck kisses are acceptable. If she wants to go someplace, Hubby and I drop everything we are doing to take her where she needs to go, and we always hand out money (even to her friends) if the need arises. She is allowed on the computer and phone as long as she wants (except for right this moment because we limited computer time when the grades slipped). And although we don't like phone calls past 9:00 p.m. we have made many exceptions to this rule. All in all I think we are very liberal parents with her. We give her freedom where many kids around here at this age get none. And we trust her that she will follow all the house rules and so far she hasn't broken even one. Not many parents can say that they have never had to ground their kid for something...well, I can say that. So, now I ask you all this, have I given too much? And am I being unfair to her? I give her all the space she needs and then some. I know this is a time in her life where she feels she has to test the boundaries. And I am letting her, but at the same time I feel I have to stand up to her and let her know that this is still her father and my house and she needs to be respectful here at all times and keep those lines of communication open. For my own sake, and her safety, I have to stand firm on this. My friends have told me that she will come back to me soon and no matter what she will always love me, and I believe that. I just don't like the way things are going on here now. And any of you that know me personally know that Julie does NOT handle stress well...and I take things to heart too easily. I want this trying time over in my life and I want some normalcy around here. Or at least a little communtication.
I'll end there, since I'm sure you all got the point of this post and thanks for hearing me vent again. Seems as though that's all I do on here lately. Enjoy your week peeps and til next time...
Monday, February 13, 2006
Happy Valentine's Day...I'm A Wreck!
Happy Valentines Day Everyone!
Actually it's 9:00 p.m. the night before. I am sitting up alone, hubby working night shift, and daughter just put her head to the pillow. I figured itwas a good time to post, since I haven't for a while.
This is going to be one of those posts just for me. I have a lot of stuff inside of me and I need to get it out and try to gain a new perspective on things. I will tend to jump from subject to subject and ramble on quite a bit but remember it's only for me. I hope you all find my thoughts at least a little bit interesting and bear with me until I'm finished my rant...
This has been a week of many highs and lows for me. Lets start with the brightest point of my week. (actually this goes back to LAST week...sorry) I HAD A DATE! And it was the best date I've ever had in my life. It wasn't with my husband though. It was with the greatest guy in the entire world. I met him in 7th grade and we have been bestest bestest (I know, bad grammar but what to Hell) friends ever since. We hit it off the moment we met and the love between us has grown into something I don't even understand. It's that profound! He was a year behind me in school. We have stayed extremely close over the years and even though there are months between our visits we always come right back to that safe place we've always known. We call each other from time to time, usually a couple of months between calls, and we never miss a birthday or holiday. Like myself he is married. He has two beautiful children and his wife is a very nice lady. I got a call from him a week or so ago and he said he wanted to meet for lunch. I was so excited...it has been at least two full years since we've seen each other. Yes we talk on the phone but we can never quite get to the point of actually getting together...life is so busy. We'll, he suggested meeting last Friday for lunch and as soon as we hung up the phone the excitment began. Every day leading up to Friday the excitement built even more and more. Thursday night I barely slept because I was so wound up about seeing him. It had been SO long. He and I have gone through so much together...if it weren't for him I wouldn't be with Tim today. He was the first one to know I was pregnant with Kristen. He was also the first one to make me realize where I was going wrong...not just once but many many times. He knows me better than I know myself. I'm sure you all get the picture. So I got to the resturant and waited in the truck for him to get there. He pulled in and I started to shake! He got out of his car and I got out of Tim's truck and we embraced for the longest time! It felt so RIGHT to be back in his arms. Tears came and went and we smiled and hugged some more. Gosh I hadn't realized how much I missed him. Into the eatery and it's like we couldn't stop touching each other...like we had to make sure it was real, that we were actually together again. Oh it was all very innocent...we didn't want to jump in bed with each other or anything...we are both happy in our marriages. It had just been so long since we had seen each other and nobody could possibly understand the connection we have with each other...we don't even understand it ourselves. We sat and talked for almost two hours in the resturant and when it came time to leave it was so melancholy. I didn't want to leave and I don't think he did either. He walked me to the truck and we embraced again for another long long time. Once we got back into our own vehicles we kept looking back and waving and blowing kisses until we were out of sight of each other as we went our separate ways. Now I just can't wait til the next time...I missed him SO much! He's my very very very best friend. And I love him So!
That was a good moment of the week...how about another one...Kristen has her very first boyfriend...and I can't believe how hard she's falling for him. It is so sweet to watch her interact with him and she has experienced her first hand holding and playing footsies under the table. Mom on the other hand is a wreck. I am so happy for her and everything she's feeling I'm feeling too...like we are the same person. I didn't expect that. Last night we were talking about him and how the relationship is going. We talked about how she gets butterflies and has to wave her hands in her own face just to cool down after talking to him or seeing him. While she was describing how she feels, I started feeling the same way. Butterflies welled up in my belly (which is now some kind of stomach flu) and I got all shaky thinking about how I felt at that same age. I am a little ashamed to say that I was a lot more "educated" with going out with guys when I was in 8th grade than she is. My first kiss was in 6th grade and by 8th grade I had had at least a dozen bf's. I am so happy for my baby but at the same time I am so afraid for her. I know this kid will turn out to be like every other boy this age...he'll break her heart when she least expects it...I'd say within another week or so. I only hope she can pick herself up after. I know she will...she's a strong young lady. It still won't be easy to watch her get a broken heart. This kid better be REALLY nice to my baby or I'll start referring to him as the LITTLE PRICK again...right Mel!
This isn't the only thing about my daughters life that has me a wreck. Another boy had a true heart to heart with me about her. She has been really good friends with this other boy for a couple of years at least now. He stops by regularly but hasn't been around for a few months due to busy lives...basketball and all of that kind of stuff. Well, he came over Sunday for the afternoon. The boyfriend was here the whole time also. It was all very interesting to watch. They all got along and played cards in the kitchen, I even played with them for a while. Kristen and the bf held hands under the table. I noticed that the other boy finally noticed this and cut his visit short. Later that evening he IM'd with me. He said some things to me that I had always suspected but didn't realize to what extent it actually went. He told me how he had a really hard time watching "HIS GIRL" (he has NEVER referred to her as that before!) and her bf holding hands. He said to me that he can't believe I'm ok with it all. He told me that HE wanted to be holding hands with her. Then he said something that blew me away. This 8th grade boy said to me "Julie, I love her...I really really love her! And I want MY chance with her and I know I will never get it. I love her more that any other person I know...even more than Erika". (And if you knew the story of Erika you'd know why I say this blew me away) This is the first time that I've realized that someone loves my daughter as much as Tim and I do. And I SO believe this to be true. What gets me in the gut about this is Kristen and this boy are EXACTLY how my best friend and me are and were. He loves her and she at this point just doesn't feel the same way. Anyone that can see these two together would say differently. Tim and I and this boys Dad and many other people can see that Kristen and this boy are perfect for each other, and act it most of the time, without the kissing and hand holding. They interact with each other perfectly. They are GREAT friends. As this kid poured his feelings out to me about her online, I found myself in tears for him. I feel bad for him...longing for someone he can't have right now. I also feel SO good about the fact that someone out there loves everything my daughter is...he REALLY does love her...even at this young age. It will be interesting to see how this whole thing plays out. The bf will dump my beautiful little girl and she will be in tears...if the other boy plays his cards right, he'll be there to pick up the pieces and maybe, just maybe find himself being loved back...
My coaching stint has ended for the season and I am so glad of that. I did enjoy it toward the end though and I find myself missing it a little. Since November I have breathed cheering and now I don't have to every day. And I feel empty...like I'm extremely bored. Like Ihave nothing for myself. Oh, I have things to keep me busy already filling up my list. Another book fair in the middle of March and right after taht Baby Girl will be back to softball season. I'll be doing the books at the games most likely again. I just don't like this empty feeling I'm having now. Maybe that is why I feel the way I do about all the stuff that is going on in Kristen's life right now. I am close to her like no other and now that I have a lot of time on my hands, I can't help but engross myself into her life.
Valentines Day has no meaning once again for me this year. Tim will get home early morning from night shift and sleep half the day. The way my tummy is feeling I WON'T be wanting to do much when he does get up and the day will fly by without even a notice. It makes me wonder why I don't get those butterflies for Tim...like the ones I feel just thinking about my daughters experiences...or the ones I felt with my bestest friend last Friday. I know, maybe I should end this post with a plan...a plan for some awesome sex with him tomorrow and screw the flowers and candy and good food he might have planned...just lock the door and find each other again...Yeah...that's a good plan...
...I'll fill you all in next time...Everyone have an extremely loving Valentines Day and I'll be thinking about you all. (Well, after sex that is...lol)
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