thesimplethingsinlife

Polyphemus Has Hatched!!!

2007-06-08T13:11:00.001-05:00

Finally, after long winter months inside a jar, the Polyphemus has hatched into a beautiful Moth.

It has about a six inch wing span and the "eye's" are irridencent. The picture doesn't show it well but it is a pinkish shade of brown. Any of you that don't remember what the worm it hatched out of looked like, you can see pictures on my last post.

Trying To Find Some Inspiration!

2006-09-10T14:20:00.000-05:00

Sitting here alone, bored, and feeling quite depressed. Life just isn't working out for this old girl lately. I have found a passion that makes me smile a little though. I would like to thank Sandi over at My Soap Box for the inspiration. Enjoy!

Living Life With Unfurled Wings Means You Won't Be Able To Fly!

Can You Guess It's Name??? Look Closely

And Use Imagination! Beauty From Within It's Depth's!

Pollen Dust To Pollen Dust!

A Face Within! Some Fall Color!

And Last The Newest Addition To Our Household. A Polyphemus Moth Caterpillar!

(Of course he will be let go to cocoon and overwinter to become a beautiful moth with a 5 1/2 in wing span in the spring)

Hope you enjoyed a few of the Simple Things In Life. Thanks again Sandi!

School Daze

2006-08-30T05:21:00.000-05:00

Once again we must put away our flip flops and beach towels and head back to school. Today my baby starts High School. This is her...she has grown up so much in the past few months...
It certainly has been a summer to remember. We have laughed and loved, and even fought like bobcats at times. Overall it was a terrific summer. Baby is looking forward to a new school and new friends and new teachers this year. She will be leaving behind some of the younger students that she became best friends with last year but we live right in town so she'll still be able to see them after school. She will also be leaving behind her boyfriend. He is a grade behind her. They are very close in age but Baby started school when she was 4. I would love to post a pic of them together but the little shits won't let me get any new shots of them. He is a very nice boy and has stolen my heart, or at least a big piece of it. He isn't without fault...he dumped my baby twice this summer...and some of you might think she's stupid for taking him back but you wouldn't say that if you could see them together. I actually like that he has faults...makes him very interesting. They are both having a hard time with the fact that they will be in different schools this year but I honestly think it will be for the best. Instead of meeting each other in hallways and glancing at the classroom door every five minutes to see if the other might be walking by, they will be able to concentrate of thier schoolwork and and still be able to see each other after school and on weekends. And as all of us know time apart makes it less boring when we are together.
Well, enough about the two of them...High School!!! Wow! When did my precious little girl grow up to become a freshman? Seems like just yesterday I was playing jump rope with her and reading stories at bedtime. She is a beautiful young lady with a strong sense of values and a pretty good mind. I hope she goes far in life and reaches for the stars. I remember my high school years. Times were so different back then. That was the day when smoking was permitted by students, and a lot of us were hyped up on speed before our first class started. High School dances were no more than a make out session in every corner and although most of us got fairly decent grades, there wasn't as much pressure to excel to the highest level. I squeaked by with B's C's and D's...and an occasional F. Now kids are expected to get straight A's. They can't smoke, which is a good thing, and if caught with drugs juvey would be their nesting place for a while. All in all I'm hoping for a terrific year without much drama. I would like to see my babe form some long lasting friendships and experience something new every day. I still can't believe she's in High School already...where has the time gone?

Lazy Spring Day!

2006-04-28T11:22:00.000-05:00

Now, You have to really study this picture to appreciate it.

It is a beautiful spring day here in Central Maine and the sun has a warmth to it that we've been waiting for.

Notice the nice comfotable sunny padded chair on my deck. Then notice where the cat is. She would rather curl into a little ball in a dirty plant pot then sprawl out in the sun on a nice cushion. I never understood cats! But I love them! (It's difficult to make out but also notice the perfect star shape on her back. Kewl huh!)

Just another view of her...she looks a bit peturbed that I interrupted her cat nap!

Gee, I'm glad I hadn't planted my flowers in that pot yet!

How Evil Am I? Geesh...And I Thought I Was The Wicked Witch Of The East

2006-04-06T05:16:00.000-05:00

***You Are 44% Evil***
You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination.
How Evil Are You?http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/

Life Goes On!

2006-02-20T07:09:00.000-05:00

Been a couple of weeks since I've posted so I thought I'd give it a whirl this morning since I am the only one up. Hubby on vacation and is taking advantage of the chance to sleep in.
Very cold here. You might be thinking, Hey it's Maine in Winter....Supposed to be cold, but these last couple of days have been the coldest yet in this freaky Maine Winter. No snow still and looks like nothing in the near future. I hate it and I long for cross country skiing. Only exercise I usually get in winter.
Cheering is OVER! YAY FOR ME! Well, technically it is but they have asked me to put together my cheerleaders and their parents to cheer for a benefit game between 8th grade players and faculty members. I think it will be a lot of fun. That will happen mid week next week and I only need to have one little practice to teach moms the sidelines and a few call back cheers. Will let you know how it goes.
Unfortunately this is another of those posts where I need to vent. Baby Girl is taking me to the end of my rope and I feel like I've lost ALL control on this parenting thing with her. She still has boyfriend number one and as far as I can see they are getting along pretty good. He seems like a very nice boy. Although I think this really started when the boyfriend came into the picture I can't blame him for the attitude of my daughter lately. Let me start by telling you a little bit about my realationship with my baby. When I was growing up, parenting was a little different. Both of my parents worked and dad was drunk all the time. Mom spent her days working cooking cleaning and dealing with a drunk husband so although they fed and clothed me, I basically grew up all by myself. I can't remember even one conversation with my parents about anything happening in my teen years. When I had my daughter I swore that it would never be that way with her and I. I wanted her to grow up knowing she could come to me with anything and that I'd always have an open ear for her. Up until now that has played out very well. Her and I spend a ton of time together since Hubby works all the time and crazy shifts. Baby and I are best friends and enjoy each others company...well, until recently. A few months ago I notice the teen girl attitude coming out. She started getting mouthy and showing that she wanted more space/freedom. She started withdrawing from conversations with me and started spending more time in her room. This past week she has withdrawn from conversation with me even more. I try to talk with her about the stuff going on and she refuses to see it as a big deal. I tell her I'm tired of the tension between us and the way she shuts me out and she just responds with "Mom, I'm not". Then she goes back into her room and ignores me the rest of the day. Now, I totally expect this at this age. I knew the days would come where she would want to grow into her own person, find herself and who she really is. People have told me that this too shall pass and she will eventually start letting me into her life a little at a time. This too I expect. I think what has me bothered by all the recent events is that for one, she has never NOT talked to me about her feelings and happenings in her life before, and two it all happened so quickly. One day we were just normal around here, the occasional spat but still a ton of love and respect. Overnight, literally, she withdrew and stopped talking and was just SO damned angry with me it seemed. I played things over and over in my mind to see if I had done something to make her hate me and Hubby and I talked about it and there is just no reason for her to be shutting me out. We are extremely giving as far as her freedoms go. Let me explain...She is allowed to have friends over, as many as she wants, at any given time of any day. No questions asked. If it is mealtime around here any kids in the house are asked to join us, even if it's a tight grocery week. She is allowed to have a boyfriend at age 13 and trusted enough to be allowed to have a boy in her room, as long as the door is open. They can hold hands in front of us and even a few peck kisses are acceptable. If she wants to go someplace, Hubby and I drop everything we are doing to take her where she needs to go, and we always hand out money (even to her friends) if the need arises. She is allowed on the computer and phone as long as she wants (except for right this moment because we limited computer time when the grades slipped). And although we don't like phone calls past 9:00 p.m. we have made many exceptions to this rule. All in all I think we are very liberal parents with her. We give her freedom where many kids around here at this age get none. And we trust her that she will follow all the house rules and so far she hasn't broken even one. Not many parents can say that they have never had to ground their kid for something...well, I can say that. So, now I ask you all this, have I given too much? And am I being unfair to her? I give her all the space she needs and then some. I know this is a time in her life where she feels she has to test the boundaries. And I am letting her, but at the same time I feel I have to stand up to her and let her know that this is still her father and my house and she needs to be respectful here at all times and keep those lines of communication open. For my own sake, and her safety, I have to stand firm on this. My friends have told me that she will come back to me soon and no matter what she will always love me, and I believe that. I just don't like the way things are going on here now. And any of you that know me personally know that Julie does NOT handle stress well...and I take things to heart too easily. I want this trying time over in my life and I want some normalcy around here. Or at least a little communtication.
I'll end there, since I'm sure you all got the point of this post and thanks for hearing me vent again. Seems as though that's all I do on here lately. Enjoy your week peeps and til next time...

Happy Valentine's Day...I'm A Wreck!

2006-02-13T21:12:00.000-05:00

Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

Actually it's 9:00 p.m. the night before. I am sitting up alone, hubby working night shift, and daughter just put her head to the pillow. I figured itwas a good time to post, since I haven't for a while.
This is going to be one of those posts just for me. I have a lot of stuff inside of me and I need to get it out and try to gain a new perspective on things. I will tend to jump from subject to subject and ramble on quite a bit but remember it's only for me. I hope you all find my thoughts at least a little bit interesting and bear with me until I'm finished my rant...
This has been a week of many highs and lows for me. Lets start with the brightest point of my week. (actually this goes back to LAST week...sorry) I HAD A DATE! And it was the best date I've ever had in my life. It wasn't with my husband though. It was with the greatest guy in the entire world. I met him in 7th grade and we have been bestest bestest (I know, bad grammar but what to Hell) friends ever since. We hit it off the moment we met and the love between us has grown into something I don't even understand. It's that profound! He was a year behind me in school. We have stayed extremely close over the years and even though there are months between our visits we always come right back to that safe place we've always known. We call each other from time to time, usually a couple of months between calls, and we never miss a birthday or holiday. Like myself he is married. He has two beautiful children and his wife is a very nice lady. I got a call from him a week or so ago and he said he wanted to meet for lunch. I was so excited...it has been at least two full years since we've seen each other. Yes we talk on the phone but we can never quite get to the point of actually getting together...life is so busy. We'll, he suggested meeting last Friday for lunch and as soon as we hung up the phone the excitment began. Every day leading up to Friday the excitement built even more and more. Thursday night I barely slept because I was so wound up about seeing him. It had been SO long. He and I have gone through so much together...if it weren't for him I wouldn't be with Tim today. He was the first one to know I was pregnant with Kristen. He was also the first one to make me realize where I was going wrong...not just once but many many times. He knows me better than I know myself. I'm sure you all get the picture. So I got to the resturant and waited in the truck for him to get there. He pulled in and I started to shake! He got out of his car and I got out of Tim's truck and we embraced for the longest time! It felt so RIGHT to be back in his arms. Tears came and went and we smiled and hugged some more. Gosh I hadn't realized how much I missed him. Into the eatery and it's like we couldn't stop touching each other...like we had to make sure it was real, that we were actually together again. Oh it was all very innocent...we didn't want to jump in bed with each other or anything...we are both happy in our marriages. It had just been so long since we had seen each other and nobody could possibly understand the connection we have with each other...we don't even understand it ourselves. We sat and talked for almost two hours in the resturant and when it came time to leave it was so melancholy. I didn't want to leave and I don't think he did either. He walked me to the truck and we embraced again for another long long time. Once we got back into our own vehicles we kept looking back and waving and blowing kisses until we were out of sight of each other as we went our separate ways. Now I just can't wait til the next time...I missed him SO much! He's my very very very best friend. And I love him So!

That was a good moment of the week...how about another one...Kristen has her very first boyfriend...and I can't believe how hard she's falling for him. It is so sweet to watch her interact with him and she has experienced her first hand holding and playing footsies under the table. Mom on the other hand is a wreck. I am so happy for her and everything she's feeling I'm feeling too...like we are the same person. I didn't expect that. Last night we were talking about him and how the relationship is going. We talked about how she gets butterflies and has to wave her hands in her own face just to cool down after talking to him or seeing him. While she was describing how she feels, I started feeling the same way. Butterflies welled up in my belly (which is now some kind of stomach flu) and I got all shaky thinking about how I felt at that same age. I am a little ashamed to say that I was a lot more "educated" with going out with guys when I was in 8th grade than she is. My first kiss was in 6th grade and by 8th grade I had had at least a dozen bf's. I am so happy for my baby but at the same time I am so afraid for her. I know this kid will turn out to be like every other boy this age...he'll break her heart when she least expects it...I'd say within another week or so. I only hope she can pick herself up after. I know she will...she's a strong young lady. It still won't be easy to watch her get a broken heart. This kid better be REALLY nice to my baby or I'll start referring to him as the LITTLE PRICK again...right Mel!
This isn't the only thing about my daughters life that has me a wreck. Another boy had a true heart to heart with me about her. She has been really good friends with this other boy for a couple of years at least now. He stops by regularly but hasn't been around for a few months due to busy lives...basketball and all of that kind of stuff. Well, he came over Sunday for the afternoon. The boyfriend was here the whole time also. It was all very interesting to watch. They all got along and played cards in the kitchen, I even played with them for a while. Kristen and the bf held hands under the table. I noticed that the other boy finally noticed this and cut his visit short. Later that evening he IM'd with me. He said some things to me that I had always suspected but didn't realize to what extent it actually went. He told me how he had a really hard time watching "HIS GIRL" (he has NEVER referred to her as that before!) and her bf holding hands. He said to me that he can't believe I'm ok with it all. He told me that HE wanted to be holding hands with her. Then he said something that blew me away. This 8th grade boy said to me "Julie, I love her...I really really love her! And I want MY chance with her and I know I will never get it. I love her more that any other person I know...even more than Erika". (And if you knew the story of Erika you'd know why I say this blew me away) This is the first time that I've realized that someone loves my daughter as much as Tim and I do. And I SO believe this to be true. What gets me in the gut about this is Kristen and this boy are EXACTLY how my best friend and me are and were. He loves her and she at this point just doesn't feel the same way. Anyone that can see these two together would say differently. Tim and I and this boys Dad and many other people can see that Kristen and this boy are perfect for each other, and act it most of the time, without the kissing and hand holding. They interact with each other perfectly. They are GREAT friends. As this kid poured his feelings out to me about her online, I found myself in tears for him. I feel bad for him...longing for someone he can't have right now. I also feel SO good about the fact that someone out there loves everything my daughter is...he REALLY does love her...even at this young age. It will be interesting to see how this whole thing plays out. The bf will dump my beautiful little girl and she will be in tears...if the other boy plays his cards right, he'll be there to pick up the pieces and maybe, just maybe find himself being loved back...

My coaching stint has ended for the season and I am so glad of that. I did enjoy it toward the end though and I find myself missing it a little. Since November I have breathed cheering and now I don't have to every day. And I feel empty...like I'm extremely bored. Like Ihave nothing for myself. Oh, I have things to keep me busy already filling up my list. Another book fair in the middle of March and right after taht Baby Girl will be back to softball season. I'll be doing the books at the games most likely again. I just don't like this empty feeling I'm having now. Maybe that is why I feel the way I do about all the stuff that is going on in Kristen's life right now. I am close to her like no other and now that I have a lot of time on my hands, I can't help but engross myself into her life.

Valentines Day has no meaning once again for me this year. Tim will get home early morning from night shift and sleep half the day. The way my tummy is feeling I WON'T be wanting to do much when he does get up and the day will fly by without even a notice. It makes me wonder why I don't get those butterflies for Tim...like the ones I feel just thinking about my daughters experiences...or the ones I felt with my bestest friend last Friday. I know, maybe I should end this post with a plan...a plan for some awesome sex with him tomorrow and screw the flowers and candy and good food he might have planned...just lock the door and find each other again...Yeah...that's a good plan...

...I'll fill you all in next time...Everyone have an extremely loving Valentines Day and I'll be thinking about you all. (Well, after sex that is...lol)

BUSY! BUSY! But I'm fine Scotty...Thanks For asking!

2006-01-30T21:04:00.000-05:00

Life has been a whirl-wind for me lately. It can never just seem to go along at an even keel. I'm either bored completely out of my mind or so busy that my head won't stop spinning. At the moment I'm spinning out of control.
~My Personal Life~ Well, there isn't much to tell here. Hubby and I are just going through the motions of every day. He is working unbelievable hours and when he does get a day off there is a ton of stuff to take care of, errands, games to go to, family obligations. We haven't had much time to spend together and I've had too much time away from him and I'm starting to think not so good thoughts. I wonder what it will be like for us after Baby Girl is off on her own. I know it's a few years away but the time will go quickly. Our lives revolve around her and I just don't know what it will be like when she's gone. Hubby and I have a very good relationship and I can't imagine life without him in it. But I also have noticed that he never wants to be "alone" with me. Yes, we are alone to keep the fires burning but other than that we do nothing together as a couple. He doesn't want to go on trips with me (not that we could afford it), and even just the other day there was a mention of Valentines Day coming up. Instead of saying something like "We should go out for the evening" he simply said, "You'll have to go pick up some flowers for Baby Girl since I won't have time with all the hours I'm working." I know his intentions are good but I think what it will be like when she isn't here to buy flowers for. Will he actually buy them for me? I have my doubts.
~ My Health~ So far so good on this aspect. I am completely stressed out about some things but at least so far I haven't got the viruses going around...Knock on Wood! Baby Girl has been sick for what seems like months. The virus she had when I posted last is still with her. She was left pretty weak form it and she now has a head cold that is one of the worst she has had. The drugs seem to be working though. She gets into these coughing fits that just don't stop and that is adding to my stress by keeping me up at night. I did take some ME time this past weekend though and searched a few blogs and relaxed as much as I could. I've noticed lately that I get lame without even doing anything strenuous and that has me a little concerned. My mother has Rhumatoid Arthritis and I know it's hereditary. I guess it's time for me to keep an eye on myself, just in case it doesn't skip this generation. I'm crossing my fingers that the lameness is just from a little shoveling and oddball housework I've been doing.
~My Job~ The basketball season is coming to an end quickly and I can't say that it upsets me. I am more than ready to NOT be coaching the cheerleaders! We had our last FULL practice day today and it was on a sour note. Half the girls just wanted to goof off and not pay attention. A couple of them even got a bit lippy with me and that just didn't set right. All it seemed to do was set the tone for the remainder of the practice session and by the end of two hours I along with the "good" half of the squad was extremely frustrated. At this age level the girls are more interested in what boys are watching them in the stands than they are in doing the elements of cheerleading properly and safely. I am switching up the stunting groups for the remainder of the season, just so the girls don't get bored with the five games we have left to cheer. I hope I don't regret it in the end. We meet again on Wednesday for a double game night and we have about a half hour to warm up, stretch, and try to execute the routine before heading to the gym. I am keeping my fingers crossed that it all turns out fine. I'm sure it will. Again, this is just a busy portion of my life that has me a tad stressed right now.
~ Miscellaneous!~ Along with all my coaching responsibilities, I'm also trying to be the good Auntie and see my nephew and niece in their baskeball games. My niece is done I think and then my nephew has another couple of weeks, but I think only two home games. I'll be glad when February vacation is here so we can put it behind us.
Mom and Dad have been a little better healthwise and that has been a blessing. I have to drive Dad to a couple of tests in the next couple of weeks. Don't I just Love that! NOT! Mom is doing a lot better but slips in and out of depression and of course, living right beside them makes it too easy for me to slip into depressin also. I've been trying to stay away as much as possible and all that is accomplishing is making me more tired and more stressed. At least I'm not stressed in a "Bad" way, just a busy one! Auntie Deb has gone to Florida for the winter and I'm taking care of her mail and looking after her house while she's gone. I think she's lonely, she calls me about five out of seven nights a week, usually late, and talks for at least an hour. Like I have time or energy for that! I even didn't answer the phone one time and that just isn't like me. I usually don't dodge phone calls, makes me feel too quilty. Auntie Dodie has gone to Florida for the winter also. She is the Aunt I work for cleaning the office on weekends. I have had to run errands for her for stuff for the office that the office secrataries can't seem to find time for. At least she's paying me a little extra for my trouble. Her husband will be coming back form Florida ina couple of weeks and I'm going to have to take care of him by doing his laundry and cleaning her house. Should be fun trying to manage two households. I've done it before though and at least cheering will be over by the time he gets back.
~Back to the job for a moment~ Sports Banquet is coming up and I need to speak in front of about 50 people. The sports teams will be dispersing into seperate rooms so the banquet won't take as long, and I won't have to speak to parents I don't even know. I am still feeling like throwing up every time I think about it. I just don't do well with public speaking. I've decided that instead of winging it I'm going to type up a speech of some kind. I think it will be easier on me. I know I will be fine and part of the fun of it is all this anticipation beforehand. Still I have a ton of butterflies in there. I fear looking like and idiot! Gosh I'll be so glad when this coaching stint of mine is OVER! ARGH!
~ Baby Girl~ There has been a few new developments with my wonderful little girl. She came home a few days ago and blew me away when she started talking aobut a seventh grade boy. (remember she's in 8th grade) I guess she has quite the crush on him and according to her he's SO HOT! He asked her tonight online if she was a good kisser and she wasn't even embarrassed to tell him she's never kissed or been kissed. So, I guess it's HERE WE GO! Am I ready for this stage in my daughters life? I thought I was until it happened. (I bet Mel is laughing her ass off right now!) So, I'm sure I'll be posting about thisin the next few weeks. Who knows, maybe nothing will come of it! It'll be interesting to see how long before she brings him home to meet the parents! I'll keep you all posted. Young Love is the best!

That's it for this post. It's really late and I'm so tired I feel like I'm going to drop. I'll try to post more often and rest assured that Julie is OK! Just too busy to enjoy blogging lately! I'll be back soon, hopefully! Kisses to all!

Here We Go Again! ARGH!!!

2006-01-23T21:16:00.000-05:00

Ok, I just can't take all the sickness anymore! Once again my baby girl is sick. This time it's her throat. She started Friday night at her game by losing her voice, but felt fine so she went to her dance anyway. The whole weekend, her throat wasn't sore but her voice was a mess. She had that cold a couple of weeks ago and I was thinking it was leftover from that. Eveyone else around here is going through shit like that too. Just can't shake it. Well, today she got up and felt ok, no voice, and that was it...off to school she went. At 10:00 she called needing cough drops. I took them up and asked if she was ok other than that...she said she was. With the snow storm, her game got cancelled tonight so home she came at 2:00. Her throat was sore and I couldn't get her into the docs till Wednesday morning for a strep test. I made her open her mouth and I looked for white spots, which I couldn't find. She couldn't barely do that because it was making her gag. I searched the cupboard for medicine and got out the cepacol, the zicam, and the tylenol! Nothing seems to be working and I never know if she's telling me the truth when I ask her how she's feeling. Taking medicines has always been a nightmare around here. Something simple like chewable Tylenol makes her throw up. So tonight was no exception. She took the Zicam fine, since it has no real taste, just chalky texture. Even the Tylenol went down fine...but the Cepacol was another story...She cried and begged me to let her spit it out the whole way through. Does it ever get any easier for these kids to take medicines? She can't swallow even a tic tac whole so that type of medicine doesn't work for us. Here I am, It's 9:30, and I'm emotionally drained just from the evening of fighting with ehr to take soemthing to make herself well. My own throat is a little sore and since I'm prone to any virus that adheres to the throat, I'm willing to bet that I'll be coming down with it soon...I'll be surprised if I don't get it! Yippee for Me! I really need to go to bed but Hubby won't be home for another hour or so and I'll just wake back up when he comes in if I go to sleep now. I'm totally stressed out and an emotional wreck...I HATE IT WHEN ANY OF US GET SICK! I just don't handle it well. I even go as far as asking baby girl about twenty times an hour how she's feeling even if she only has a cold and I know it. And just think, I used to work in a nursing home where there was nothing but sickness...I even contemplated not too long ago goign to school to get my nursing degree. How could I handle that if I can't even handle what goes on in my own home. It would all be much easier if Baby would just get past this point with the medicine going down...God I'm Drained!
And I really hate posts taht are all about venting...but hey, that's what Julie's life seems to be all about lately. Bare with me people, better, more positive times are coming soon I hope...
Stay healthy all!

Today!

2006-01-20T07:14:00.000-05:00

So here it is, another day. My cold is much better...I guess there is something to this Zicam stuff. It seemed to work.
Cheering is going good. The girls did their entire halftime dance routine last night for the first time and it went really great. Nobody feel out of thier stunts and their motions were pretty good. There is still room for improvement but for the overall, they rocked! They were all so nervous that it was making me nervous for them too. We do it all over again tonight and this time I'm adding an element...they are going to be announced before the routine one at a time. They are not very happy about that but I noticed a lot of spectators leaving their seats and doing concessions and things like that while the girls were doing thier routine. Cheerleaders are a part of Basketball and should get the respect of at least being watched while they perform.
Thanks to one of my girls, we now have a little skip in our music. I asked her to stop the tape during practice yesterday and she pushed record instead. So now we have a little silent part in our routine but the girls pushed right past it during the game. Hopefully I'll be able to find the same music soon so I can do another tape. Only about three more weeks of all of this and the season is over. Then I have the task of speaking in front of 200 people at the awards banquet and I'm not looking forward to that. I am gonna throw up I just know it! ARGH!!!
So, what else is happening in Julie's world? Not a whole lot. The truck had some issues and has been in the shop for a couple of days. We got it back last night after shelling out almost $1000.00 to get it fixed. Talk about wanting to throw up! It really put hubby in a pissy mood too. We have been so "nice" lately, in a perfect place in our relationship, and yesterday flushed all that right down the potty. He is now back to being irritable and all he does is sits there and says nothing. I'm upset about having to spend the money also but Hey, it's too late now and it couldn't have been helped! We need two vehicles, just like most people do nowadays. I'm hoping that he gets over it soon. I talked to him this morning, he's at work, and he is having issues at the mill too. He had put in for two different vacations, one in February and one in May, and both got denied. It's all just political shit that happens at mills and, someone throwing thier weight around, and Hubby is getting the raw end of the stick! He is taking it to the mill manager today and I'll be sitting here waiting for a phone call, praying he doesn't loose his temper and get fired! He has so much bottled up right now and it scares me! God, do we need a REAL vacation!
Weather in Maine is sucky! Since my only readers are Maine folk, you all know what I'm talking about. I miss WHITE! I miss SKIING! I miss WALKS IN THE SNOW! I Do love the warm temps and it IS saving on the fuel bill but this is ridiculous. Hmmm, I haven't had any birds to my feeders either...anyone out there know why?
I read something in a magazine last night that I thought was interesting and I wanted to share it. In todays technological world, people have stopped paying attention to proper grammar skills. We use abbreviations more and more and put our own spin on simple words...I'm a huge one for writing the word COOL as KEWL! You all know what I'm saying. Well, this article was about words from the dictionary widely misspelled...here's the list! Amazingly I spell them all RIGHT, except for when my fingers don't push the right keys of course...at least I knew the proper spelling....(For Mel: I just happen to know that you spell a few of these wrong because you've done it typing to me! HAHA)
WRONG...............................................RIGHT
~definately..........................................definitely
~seperate............................................separate
~wierd.................................................weird
~accomodate......................................accommodate
~liason.................................................liaison
~recieve..............................................receive
~rediculous.........................................ridiculous
~nieve.................................................naive
~perogative........................................prerogative
~adament...........................................adamant
~persue..............................................pursue
~genious.............................................genius
~truely................................................truly
~sence.................................................sense

This is just a list of a few that I know about! Come on peeps...lets show the rest of the world that we are not idiots in the USA~ We are well educated people and we DO know how to spell!
Kisses to all...have a great day and weekend!

Just When I Thought I Was Safe...

2006-01-14T18:16:00.000-05:00

Ahhhh.....It looks like I'm not any different than anyone else.

I have made it a mission on mine to avoid illness at all costs. I have hand sanitizer in my purse, in my car, in Hubby's truck, in the bathroom, on the sink in the kitchen...literally everywhere! I take vitamins by the handful, vitamin C at least 3000grams a day, vitamin E, calcium, zinc...all of it that is supposed to boost the immune system. I avoid crownds when I can. When I go to the grocery store I always grab a sanitizing wipe and wipe down the cart handle. At my daughters games I make sure to sit mostly by myself away from other people that just might be carrying a germ of some kind. I eat healthy, veggies every day and lots of citrus fruits. Even have my share of juice in the morning. So you'd think that nothing could penetrate this coat of armor I'm protecting myself with....Boy Was I Wrong!!!! I finally got it! Earlier today I noticed I wasn't breathing all that well but passed it off this morning to dry air in the house. By the time I finished with cheering practice my head was pretty stuffy. So far it hasn't been all that bad. Just full in my head and stuffy in my nose. I can handle this. I went to the local shopping hell store and grabbed some Zicam (someone told me they swear by it and haven't been sick yet this winter) . I thought I'd give it a whirl. So why am I so paranoid about getting sick?

fade to 1995~~

It was late January and I was reeling from a very stressful holiday season. I had a three year old daughter and I was still adjusting to motherhood. There was tension on both sides of the family and I was pretty run down. I woke up one morning feeling not so great and started with the Tylenol immediately. By late evening that particular day, I was flat on my back with the flu. I was vomiting and hacking up mucus, I ached in every inch of my body, and I had absolutely no energy. I left the care of my three year old to my capable husband and my mother. As I lay in bed miserable I remember thinking that it was just the flu and I'd be fine in a day or so. Well, it didn't happen that way. Each day passed and I grew more and more sick. Hubby had to go back to work and my mother continued to take care of my three year old. My symptoms got to the point where I didn't have a choice than to go to the hospital. My breathing was pretty bad, even to catch a simple breath, and I was worried about a lung infection. Off to the hospital I went. In the examining room all I could do was lay on the bed. I had no energy to even sit up. Hubby had taken the day off from work, AGAIN, and was by my side. The doctor came in to examine me and I couldn't even sit up. I just lay there kind of in a daze as to what was happening. The doc gave me a breathing machine and sent nurses in to start an IV, I was pretty dehydrated. It took them nearly an hour to find a vein to start my IV. After hundreds of pokes with a needle, they finally found a vein they could access. Like I said, I was pretty dehydrated. The admitted me into a semi prvate room and through the whole thing all I could do was cry. I was supposed to be home caring for my three year old and taking care of my house...I didn't have time to be sick. The next day they sent me home, with a basketful of meds and strict orders to rest in bed. At home, my house was a mess (nobody can clean exactly the way you like it) and the cupboards were empty. My daughter stayed right beside me, as much as I would let her, trying to comfort me. I started on the meds the doc ordered and was trying to be a good patient...that's when all Hell broke loose. I started having reactions to the meds almost immediately after I started taking them. I was vomitting and shaking uncontrolably. Hubby called outpatient and spoke with the doctor I had seen while there. He said that it was all symptoms of the flu and the tests had come back...it was indeed Influenza B. For the next four days I continued to vomit occasionally, go through cold shivers then sweats. One day I went into convulsions and both mom and hubby had to lay on top of my arms and legs to stop them from shaking. My fever stayed at 104 for pretty much the whole time. doctors didn't seem to be too concerned about it. My whole body ached and I hadn't had a shower in days. The bedding was disgusting and hubby was sleeping on the couch for the most part. I lay there thinking "Why won't someone just clean me up or something?" Well, God must have answered that prayer becasue hubby came in and I managed enough energy to ask him to give me a bath. (Up until then I barely spoke because I was so weak) He Picked me up and sat me on the step of the tub and undressed me slowly. He lifted me and sat me into the water which was very warm but my body, racked with fever, reacted in pain. The warm water felt like ice cubes. I handled it as best I could and Hubby took a cloth to me. Finally I was clean. After he carried me to the couch, wrapped in a blanket, so my mom could do the bedding. Even though it was middle of winter they opened the windows to let in fresh air. My little girl tried entertaining me, but you know how it is with three year olds, she really didn't understand what was going on. This whole scene repeated itself for about a week and then I finally started getting better. I slowly regained enough strength to at least get out of bed and my appetite was coming back. It took me a long time to get back to 100%. Mom was still having to do my housework four weeks later. I hated every minute of it. This was MY home and I was supposed to be taking care of everyone. Eventually I recovered completely and swore that I would never let myself get that sick again. At the end of it all I weighed only 82 pounds and bruised easily. It did something to my metabolism and I no longer burned up the calories like I did before. Now, eleven years later, I am NOT 82 pounds and I hope that I never get that way again.

~~ back to the present~~

So will I let THIS whatever it is get the best of me? No Way! I will take this Zicam stuff and get my rest and take it easy. I will NOT push myself and I will take time to heal. I learned a lot from that time being sick in 1995. I learned what my body can handle. Do I mind the extra pounds I packed on? Not One Bit! I may be round in a lot of places but at least I have something to fall back on and don't have to worry about that 82 pound mark again. So, here I am all stuffy. I am hoping it is just a basic cold (which very well could be since baby girl and mom have both been sick and I've been right with them). I will head to bed early and try to sleep in tomorrow.

Right now I'm off to take a warm bath, one that will steam up the mirrors and open my nasal passages. I have a wish for all of you out there that you DO NOT GET SICK! Like those of you who have had this already, I will survive it. Take care one and all and I'll be back when I'm feeling better. Kisses!

Reflections...

2005-12-31T14:42:00.000-05:00

It's funny how on this day every year we all take a moment to look back on everything that has taken place over the past year. Most of us look back with a few regrets, a few happy memories, a few disappointments, and then we look forward with new hopes for the coming year. All of us make resolutions and most of us never stick to even one of them and then we kick ourselves in the ass at the end of the year. I am no exception to this. Last year I had some high hopes for myself...some of which I made happen and then some of which I never thought about again. Hubby and I are getting along better than we have in years...who would have know that birth control pills can take the oomph out of a relationship. Baby girl has had her ups and downs and she's finishing out her year kind of down, trying to figure out where she fits in. Finances are at a lull. We are keeping our heads above water but just barely. I have made some very happy memories. I have enjoyed some family outings and made some lasting friendships that I never expected. I even resolved some bad issues with my sister so now at least we are speaking to each other after three years of not speaking at all. For the most part the family stayed healthy. Mom is still sick but improving every day. And I am a bit concerned about another family member that seems a little messed up at the moment. But other than that we have all held it together pretty well. I did lose someone very close to me this year...a man who was like my other Dad. It is a great loss and I will miss him immensely for years ot come. We also had some new life come into ours this past year...Welcome Neally! She is about seven months old now and what a beautiful child.
This brings me to the coming year and what I expect out of it. I have the same old, same old resolutions...
To eat healthier
To lose some weight
To exercise more
To get a handle on finances
To better myself as a person any way I can
...and as most of us will, those resolutions will be broken or forgotten by February.
Some things that I do hope for in the coming year...
More togetherness with family members
More self confidence in myself
For everyone to stay healthy
To find a way to improve my family's outlook on life
And to just find time to have some good old fashioned fun!

So, even though this is a short post, this is what is on my mind this December 31st, 2005. I am looking forward, maybe just a little bit hesitantly, to the year 2006. I am hoping for the best and expecting the same ups and downs as with every year. My fingers are crossed for a Happy New Year!

Venting, Reflection, and My Apology!

2005-12-29T20:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'm here to post but before I get to what I really want to write about I have to vent...on a couple of issues.
The first issue is about some lameass little prick over at Scotty's, one of his commenters that has absolutely no fucking brain! How dare this twirp call Scotty's faithful followers and true friends Ugly Duckling Women! Obviously he is a sexually oppressed gay idiot! Or maybe a sexually oppressed straight white idiot, I don't know! He has nothing better to do than whack his own weenie and since it's too small to find he finds some sort of sick pleasure bashing all of Scotty's gurls. I feel for you Scotty my friend that you have to subject yourself to this sort of asswipe! That's all I'll say on that issue since I'm really in the mood to let people have it! And I don't mean in a nice way!
Issue number two is a family issue I am having and I have to bring you up to speed with a little bit of family history...
My sister got pregnant with her first child when she was 17, had the child at 18. She tried like hell to be a good mom and for the most part she was...UNTIL the child became a teenager with a bad attitude. She ran away form home at 16, to initially live with some boy, but when the boy dumped her and she refused to go home to her mothers, she was allowed in to my parents home. They felt they couldn't refuse her because she was thier grandchild and they didn't want to watch her get herself into trouble. Everything was fine for a while, other than a very pissed off sister that just wanted her child home but didn't know how to go about making that happen. Anyway, that child is now 23 with more of a bad attitude than I've ever seen. She disrespects everyone and uses everyone and feels we all owe her something. Nobody ever stands up to this girl because we are all trying to keep the peace in a very dysfunctional family. She fucks up and there is always one or more of us there to bail her out. She owes money up the ying yang and dodges creditors left and right. She has absolutely no idea how to keep a clean place and walks around with her nose stuck up in the air like she is more important than GOD. She is on a self destructive path and anyone that she meets along her way gets destroyed also. Yes I'm talking aobut my NIECE here. And I'm ashamed to say that I don't know how to love this girl anymore. Well, to bring you to the real eason for my venting...about a year ago, I brought a kitten home with me. We had just lost a cat not too long before that and I wanted it as a replacement. When I brought it in Baby Girl burst into tears and cried for hours because she felt we were "forgetting" our beloved Jazzy. She couldn't handle the thought of another cat to love and to make matters worse, Iggy, my daughters cat immediately started attacking this poor little kitten. The lady I got it from told me to bring it back to her if there were any problems and this was what I intended. UNTIL, my niece came in just before I was about to leave. She loved the kitten right away as did her Rotweiller which was very odd. The two animals bonded and I agreed to let my niece take the cat. On conditions though. She was to never abuse or neglect the cat and she was to get it fixed asap. I even gave her a ton of money for whatever needed to be done at the vets and I bought her all the stuff she'd need for it...litter box,food, toys...the works! She promised to care for the cat and hesitantly I let it go with her.
Now a year later the situation is this...Niece has been evicted from two apartments for either not paying rent or letting the animals piss all over the place. When she was at her last apartment, which is about 45 minutes from here, she met a guy that lived an hour in the opposite direction. She imediately started "living" or should I say "staying overnight" with this guy. This was about six months ago...Four of those months she left the cat all alone in the apartment she was renting going over to feed it about two times a week and NEVER staying with it for more than five minutes unless her and the guy were fighting. The cat was left to fend for itself. About two months ago she got evicted from that apartment...and came to live here in town. She is now renting a small house that is a dump and brought the cat with her. Now the cat lives in this small house all by itself and she still only goes up to feed it every few days. It has no litter in it's catbox, only wads of toilet paperbecause my niece is too lazy to go get it real litter. And still it's ALL ALONE! The once loving and friendly kitten is now a year old cat that is scred to death of anything that moves and lives in the closet of that house because it's too afraid to come out. So, this brings you up to speed...and this also brings me to the problem. A few days ago my mother and I, who are avid animal lovers, found out that niece is going to New York for New Years and is leaving the cat and her Rottie alone in that little house with food out on the floor. My mother got very upset over this. We had a conversation about how someone should really have a voice for the animals and call the autorities. We also talked about how this would really cause havoc in the family and decided against it. The same day I had to go to my sister's house and we talked about that same conversation I had had with my mother. I also told my sister that I really wanted to take the cat, if Niece would give it up. Niece refuses to give it up. Anyway... I no longer left my sisters house when she called niece right up and told her of the conversation we had had. Niece got angry (only because she knows she's in the wrong) and instead of calling me to ream me out, she called my mother, who is still sick and can't deal with any stress. To make a very long story (sorry) a little shorter, mom basically was told to fuck off and stay out of nieces life and was very hurt by my nieces words. Mom told me tonight that niece is no longer welcome in her home. This pissed me off to the point of calling nieces cell phone and reaming her right back. It's all a big mess and I feel partially responsible since it all started with a conversation I had that I just happened to mention to my sister. BIG MISTAKE THAT WON'T BE REPEATED!!! Mom is hurt and I'm ready to slap my niece. So there, I'm done venting now. And it actually helped a little! Thanks to all of you if you actually got through that...

Ok, now for what I really want to write about. My full intention was to blog about "Reflections From and Past Year". This is a time of year when people make resolutions and reflect on things that either went wrong or right over the last year. My life has had some major highs and major lows over the last year and those resolutions I had made last year are only a memory. Never stuck to one of them! I have some resolutions for this year, some that I really want to stick to. I think what I am going to do is post about it tomorrow. My mind is so bogged with anger I can't even begin to sort out what I want to say. So, my good blogger buddies, please bare with me and allow my mind to settle a bit. Tomorrow I will blog about what I REALLY want to write about and I can only hope it will be entertaining for you all. Blessings to all and Love too!

One More Christmas Past! (or is that Passed?)

2005-12-26T16:31:00.000-05:00

So I survived Christmas! YAY FOR ME! And I can see you all did also. My Holiday started out with an ear infection two days before the actual holiday. Other than a low grade fever and half of my head feeling like it got kicked in I didn't feel taht badly. Antibiotics were prescribed and all is "better". At least my head doesn't feel like I've been bashed anymore. The drugs made me feel very depressed about an hour or so after taking them so I spent Friday afternoon in tears for more than two hours...everything felt like impending doom to me. So, tomorrow is my last day of meds and every day I've had that same feeling, always aobut an hour after taking the antibiotic so I know it has to be some weird reaction to it.
Christmas Eve was at my mothers house, as usual. Same people from year to year and same type of food. It was fine though. Everyone socialized and Tim and I had some friends we don't see that often stop by and we had a nice visit. Tim worked second shift so that meant him leaving at noon both days and not getting home until 10:30 at night. So, he missed the Christmas Eve festivities (except for our old friends taht came back to see him at about 11:00 p.m.) and I missed him.
Christmas morning started at 6:30. It was a little early but with hubby leaving at noon we wanted to get in as much time together as possible. First was the opening of gifts!

Baby Girl with her new Skis!

Me hating the impending mess I know I'm going to spend half the day cleaning up! But I AM smiling just the same!

Hubby Loving his new Computer Hunting games! Well, at least I know where he'll be for at least three hours a day!

Ignatious Thistlewhite enjoying his new Homegrown Catnip toy! He still has that glare in his eyes and it's now the day AFTER!!! Where can I get my hands on that kind of Happy Pill?

Everyone had a nice time opening thier gifts and the mess wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Hubby helped a lot before leaving for work.

Later in the day I had some family, Mom and Dad, Sister and her family, and Aunt and Uncle come for a candlelit dinner. Turkey Breast and Honey Glazed Ham with all the fixings and Eclair Squares and Cocnut Cheesecake for dessert. After all becoming very stuffed we sat around relaxing from the days events and socialized. People left at about 8:00 p.m. and after baby Girl and I layed on the couch watching a movie. The mess of the house would wait.

This brings us to today...the day AFTER! Started with cheering practice for a couple hours this morning that went fine...although only 7 of my girls showed up. I have made a mental note to speak with them about commitment! After that I headed home to straighten up the house. The tree went out and the living room was moved around and now all is back to organized, well somewhat! I still have to vac and mop and do a shitload of laundry but as Scarlet said "Tomorrow is another day!"

This is Baby with that Day After Look! She has a terrible cold and is very wore out from all the activity. I see another evening laying around watching tv ahead and that doesn't hurt my feelings at all. She'll kill me for posting this pic. She wasn't too thrilled when I took it!

If you've been surfing blogs you may have read about some unusual gifts. Over at Mels you will find her Hubby's favorite gift of a blow up wife, for those nights when Mel has a headache! Over at Sheri's you will find her most special gift from the dog.

This is my contribution to MOST UNUSUAL GIFTS! It is very ZEN. A gift from my sister, I'm not really sure what it's supposed to be. You fill the basin with water and a pump feeds the water up through tubing and out the fish's mouth and from the center of the flat ivy leaves. The water cascades down and makes the waterwheels spin and the water from the fish makes the marble ball spin at the bottom. It is all copper and it is very "pretty". She had it imported from India (from some granite company she does business with for her own business of "momuments" for the cemetaries) so I should be thrilled that she went through such thought and trouble to get me something nice. I just don't know! It's DIFFERENT! I usually like different things but this is just too "UNUSUAL"!

I'd like to hear about all the unusual things that came out of your Christmases so please post about them for me. I AM SO GLAD IT'S ALL OVER!!! I've had a smile on my face the entire day! YAY FOR ME! Now life can start getting back to normal! HOPEFULLY!

The Tables Have Turned, Once Again! ARGH!!

2005-12-23T06:28:00.000-05:00

Ok, my last post was a happy one...now I'm back to being miserable. I'm trying not to be but at this point I just can't help it. I am hating the holiday this year like I have no other. I want it all to be OVER NOW!!!
The shopping has left be broke beyond words and I am so sick of the Go Go Go that always seems to fill my days. I long for quiet days and evenings in front of a good movie curled, cuddled with hubby on the couch. I long for walks in the evenings with baby girl, just talking aobut "things". Nope, we haven't been getting that here.
This is how the holiday will go around here. First, Hubby is working second shift and that means he leaves at noon and doesn't get home until 10:30 at night. He will leave tomorrow just as Mom and I are beginning to cook for her party tomorrow night. It will be the same old food with the same old people and I will be having just a grande ole' time. NOT! People will mingle in and out for the better part of the day, until they all decide they've had enough and they will leave about a half hour before Hubby gets home. That means he will miss ALL the festivities. The night will end with baby Girl heading to bed and we will scurry around puttine presents under the tree and filling her stocking. Then Christmas morning will come and it will all be over before we can even blink (I have mixed feelings about this). We will rise at about 6:00, if we are lucky, and all will shower and eat breakfast, which will consist of oatmeal or cereal...No fancy schmancy food here (have tried that before and we just aren't big eaters in the mornings). After that we will share gifts with Baby and then start picking up the mess. By the time I'm putting the turkey in the oven for Christmas Dinner, Hubby will be heading out the door to go back to the mill. It SUCKS! It's day's like this that I want him to be home! People will arrive at my house, not many, mom and dad, an aunt and uncle and very doubtfully my sister and her family. Whoever comes will have a beautiful meal with nice table sttings and candles lit. I always make it way too beautiful for these people to appreciate. I will work my ass off and although everyone will be full, and satisfied, it will seem like a whole lot of work for not much at the end.
I am trying to keep a positive outlook...for Baby Girls sake. And I will be happy and merry and go around with bells on. I will be faking it big time!
Oh, and to close this out I'll let you all in on a little secret...I have to do all this with what I think is an ear infection...woke up this morning and my left ear is killing me. No fever but feel like shit anyway! And I'd be willing to bet money that the Doctor won't be in today...and I am NOT going to the hospital and pay an outrageous bill just for an ear infection...I will suffer through and be miserable! With that I'll say to you all MERRY CHRISTMAS! and I really mean that, even though I'm not being very festive. Love to you all!

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things...

2005-12-20T08:35:00.001-05:00

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown papper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored ponies and crisp apple strudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and snitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eye-lashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

When the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things and then I don't feel so bad...

This is my favorite Christmas Time song. I know it's not the traditional Ho Ho Ho Here Comes Santa music but the lyrics in this song are so true...for me anyway. My blog is titled "The Simple Things" for a reason...I am not a material person...the simply things in life make me the most happy.

So, as the song is titled...These are a few of MY favorite things...(thanks to you Scotty, for the idea for this post!)

A few years ago I recieved a very special gift form a very special cousin of mine. She was a graphic design major at RIT and she had something in her art portfolio that is very close to my heart. One of her assignments for her portfolio was to do a graphite sketch from a photograph. One of the pictures that she did she gave to me when she moved after college to live in California. This is what it is...

This is a picture of my Baby Girl! The digital doesn't do it justice but you all get the idea. It is framed on an antique silver frame and hangs on my living room wall. You can even see the perfect lines in the palm of my daughter's hand. She had only gotten her two front teeth at this point and my cousin even gives you a glimpse of them in the drawing. She did a remarkable job and captured the true image of my baby. I will cherish this for all of my life...Thank you Michelle!

When I was little, The Peanuts (Snoopy, Charlie Brown, Lucy Van Pelt, Schroder...) was a very popular comic strip. It was, and still is, my favorite of all time! One birthday, my parents gave me a Stuffed Snoopy. He had RED ears and was stuffed with sawdust. Where they got him I have no idea. I slept with him every night, and he lay in the exact same spot in my bed every night, until I moved out and started living with my husband. Over the years he got quite damaged and dirty. Being stuffed with sawdust, I have no idea how to clean him. He is still just the cutest in my eyes...here he is...

He used to be bright white but living in a house with two parents that smoked made him so he isn't white at all anymore. Any ideas on how to clean him without ruining him would be greatly appreciated!

One of my other favorite things is every year at this time Hubby, Baby Girl and I take time to go for an evening walk to look at all the holiday displays around town. We bundle in our coziest winter attire and head out. The best of these walks is when there is a light glistening snow falling. It makes the lights seems so much more festive. When we return home we make hot cocoa and pop in a classic Christmas show and cuddle under blankets. It's one Chrsitmas tradition I hope we never outgrow.

Animals hold a special place in my heart...not only the domestic ones but even the wild ones. Birds in my feeders, seeing a moose on our evening rides in the summer, the sparkling eyes of the deer we feed in the winter. Here are three more...

I know you've seen these guys before, but theya re very dear to my heart. Almost like my own kids. All you animal lovers out there can relate to what I'm saying. The first two are very old, going on 20. They still have all the spunk of a little kitten and they give me unconditional love every day of my life. The third is Baby Girls baby boy. He is a royal pain in the you know what but still gives us kisses and greets us at the door when we've been away. I will never be without animals in my house. Cats are my favorite but dogs are pretty high up there on my list too.

There are so many more favorite things I could tell you about...The obvious ones are Family, new-found friendships, The smile on my daughters face, cuddling with my husband...So many more...Hope You All Have A Wonderful Holiday, And Take The Time To Stop And Remember The Simple Things! Kisses and God Bless...

The MEME for Scotty and Mel!

2005-12-15T08:41:00.000-05:00

Ok Scotty, you tagged me! I WILL answer the questions but I won't play the tag game on this one. (will explain why later) Hope you like my answers!

What were you doing 10 years ago? Let's see...Ten years ago I had a three year old daughter that took up most of my daytime hours. I was a stay at home mom (and still am, sort of) and I enjoyed every day playing with baby and getting together with other mom's like me. Hubby and I were separated just before I got pregnant and ten years ago we were still working on getting our shit together in our relationship. Ten years ago I had a pretty boring life, some owuld say that anyway, and today isn't all that different for me. I'm still a stay at home mom that just happens to have a couple of side jobs cleaning offices on weekends and coaching baby girls cheerleading squad.

What were you doing 1 year ago? One year ago I spent most of my time taking care of my ailing parents. Dad had just recovered from heart surgery and mom had many health issues that she is still dealing with to this day. I live right beside my parents so it was up to me (since sister of mine is a bitch and has NOTHING to do with helping my parents at all) to take care of them. I was also in the middle of big family holiday drama that left us all walking on eggshells with each other. (No different than this year! Glad it's almost over!)

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. Popcorn
2. Chocolate
3. Pepperoni, right out of the package
4. Oreo Double Stuff Cookies
5. Toast and Peanut Butter

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics: I can name probably 100 or more that Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac have done that I know every word to. Same as Heart. And who doesn't know every word to Paradise By The Dashboard Light By Meatloaf? I can even do the sports commentary perfectly and on beat! I am a fanatic when it comes to music, Music is my life! I know the lyrics to Many Many Many Many songs. Go to your favorite Music downloading site and find "Otto Titsling" by Bette Midler (Soundtrack from "Beaches") and listen to the words. It's a riot and will make you all smile! Baby Girl and I can sing it together perfectly! YAY! I liked this question...makes me feel very smart!

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
1. Buy a new home for Hubby and I first, Baby Girl second, Parents and Parent's in- law third, then if I was still a millionare I'd buy for the rest of the extended family.
2. Trips Trips Trips! I'd go see every destination I've ever wanted to see. I've never been further south than R.I and that was just for a funeral, and never been north further than Quebec. Would have a difficult time flying so this thing to do would be a difficult one.
3. Would make sure baby girl was financially set for the rest of her life.
4. I'd put millions away for after retirement age.
5.I would adopt at least five or six kids from third world coutries and give them all the love they crave and make sure they live the high life!

Five bad habits:
1. Doubting my self worth and self confidence
2. Not exercising enough
3. Eating junk food.
4. Having a controlling nature
5. Not knowing when to let things just GO

Five things you like doing:
1. Blogging/Chatting
2. Listening to music
3. Having Sex (which is something I haven't enjoyed for almost 20 years! Long story and will explain either in email or a chat with you but probably won't blog about it...Kinda personal)
4. Cooking/Baking/Eating Basically anything to do with good food!
5. Oh, and did I mention Having Sex!

Five things you would never wear again:
1. Stilhettos (sp?)
2. Prarie Skirts (not good on a short person)
3. Plaid Pants
4. Baseball shirts with something dumb ironed onto them! (Can't believe I did that in HIGH SCHOOL! WHAT WAS I THINKING?)
5. Baseball Caps...I look terrible in ANY hat!

Five favorite toys:
1. My Computer
2. My Kayak
3. My vibrator
4. I miss my video games...the real ones in the arcade, not these ones on X-Box and such!
5. And my favorite toy at the moment is hubby's private parts! (as I said, if you want details on this you'll just have to ask)

There's your damned MEME Scotty and Melody! Took me forever but it's done! Hope you enjoyed it!

Merry Christmas To All And To All A Good Night!

2005-12-13T19:07:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I've done my bitching about the holidays and I have taken some time to refresh and read some random blogs. I noticed that many many people are very stressed about Christmas and just can't seem to find thier Christmas Spirit. I'm here to help!
Me and Mine went for our annual ride around town to look at what people had for light displays tonight. It was very rewarding. We saw some very pretty displays and here are just a few.

The first of course is the true reason for this holiday...to celebrate the Birth of The Christ Child. The giving of gifts at Christmas isn't about what you are going to recieve. It is about the offerings that the wise men brought to manger to give to the babe.

The second picture is one that reminds us of the magic of today's Christmas...The way the children get excited over the gifts they recieve. Santa's train above is loaded with the goodies of the holiday and we often think of Santa in the wrong way. He isn't a big commercialized symbol of the Holiday. He is as the wise men were...offering gifts to show love to all the children of the world.

The last picture is one from town that is the most decorated house here. Every inch of the yard is covered with some sort of Christmas display. To me they go a little overboard here but if this is what makes these people happy then let it be.

We all enjoyed our little outing today and I returned home with that warm fuzzy feeling you are SUPPOSED to have this time of year. We fully intended to come home to watch Christmas Shows on the tube...Nestor of course...one of my favorites! We got home a little late and ended up not watching it, but never fear, I have it recorded! YAY!

I hope these pictures make you all as happy as they made me. Sorry about the quality of them but there is only so much you can do with a digital camera inside a moving vehicle. I thought the came out ok considering. This finally picture comes with a blessing and a huge MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL! NOW, GO GET INTO THE SPIRIT PEEPS!

Merry Effin' Ho Ho Ho!

2005-12-12T19:17:00.000-05:00

Mel's Monster!

The weekend has come and gone and I'm am feeling not too bad. Did the family Christmas thing with Hubby's family. Mel and her family were wonderful hosts. Hubby spent quality time with his brother and us ladies had some very nice chats. Saturday we started the day early...I think we were just so anxious to get to Hell out of Dodge that we pushed ourselves to leave sooner than planned. Got to Greenville about two hours ahead of schedule. Getting there early gave hubby and babygirl a little time to relax before they headed off to the hockey game. They left around 3 that afternoon and Mel and I hit the booze. It only took us two both 2 drinks before we were tipsy enough to know we had better stop. I had the bright idea of going for a walk and let me tell you, downhill, in high shoes, in your jammies, and being as tipsy as I was wasn't an easy task. And you know, once you go dawnhill walking you then have to turn around and go UPhill to get home. Uphill wasn't as bad since I was not so tipsy on the way back. I had a vision of how that night would go and I certainly didn't plan on returning from that walk and falling asleep watching a movie. I kinda thought an all night party would have fun, with the fellas and kids joining us when they got home. BUT, my vision just didn't happen.
Sunday, the big party day for the whole clan, went EXACTLY how I envisioned it to be. I think in a way it disapointed Mel. We had all the food ready way ahead of schedule. By 11:00 a.m. we were all sitting in the living room just waiting for someone to show up early. Nobody showed until ten minutes before the time Mel told them food would be served, exactly the way I told her it would happen. I LOVE IT WHEN I'M RIGHT!! The food got overcooked but at least it was still edible. Within ten minutes of the first guest showing up, the rest of them had arrived also. Dinner was served immediately and we no sooner had the food off the table and the gifts HAD to be done (something else I TOLD her would happen). Within two hours the entire party was over and I have to say I was very disappointed with the day. Mel did her best job of playing hostess but theres only so much you can do when the guests have other ideas. And get this one...Hubby suggested that I do the family Chrsitmas party next year! NOT EVER GONNA HAPPEN!!!
On the way home, we had to stop at the parents house to do gifts with them and that was an unplanned thing also. I hate it when they have us do that...we walk in, gifts are handed out and tore into, then the stuff they give to us is packed quickly into the truck and off to home we go...and I'm not exaggerating when I say it happens just that fast! With it being my husbands parents, I'd rather just wait and have them down for a nice dinner sometime and do the whole gift thing then. At least we can have time to visit and enjoy each others company that way.
One more stop on the way home, at sister in-laws house to pick up something to do with knives that Hubby had to get. The ride home was a long one and once here we then had to unpack from the weekend and I'm ashamed to say that my house is still a mess because I just haven't had time to put everything away. Am I glad the whole thing is over? ABSOLUTELY!!! Merry Fucking Christmas! ( I didn't think it was appropriate to make that last line my title to this post!)
So, today I was riding in the truck, very early this morning I might add, on the way to Farmington to SHOP SHOP SHOP! YUCK! But you know, I felt different! I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I still am not sure why but I guess all the stress I've been dealing with over the last few weeks was all because of the damned Erickson Christmas. I didn't realize it until today that it had that much of an effect on everything else going on in my life but it does. I totally was looking forward to the weekend, spending it with Mel and her family, but there's just something about get togethers with that side of our family that stresses us both to the max. Now I just have 365 days to prepare myself for the next one. ARGH!! Maybe I'll SKIP the whole thing next year!
To Mel... Thank you for being a great host for our weekend and I totally am sorry that it wasn't all you had hoped it would be. Tim, Kristen and I had a wonderful time with you guys, at least until about 1:00 Sunday and we look forward to getting together with you again very soon.
As for the rest of you bloggers out there, all two others of you that actually read my ramblings, I will end this post now before going on to a new subject. But believe me when I say I have a whole lot more to say so be prepared. Til next time...Luvs to you all!

Finding A Happier Place!

2005-12-07T06:16:00.000-05:00

I woke up early today, actually never went back to sleep once Hubby left for work at 4:00 a.m. You would think that being woke up so early would put me in a negative mood but for some reason it didn't. I am happier and more energetic then I have been in weeks. Why would I all of a sudden get like this?? I don't know, let's reassess and see if there are any links...

Mom is feeling tons better. I went with her yesterday to her wound care appointment and Sue (her wound specialist) was amazed at her progression of healing just in the last couple of weeks. Mom went on Cytoxin which is an extremely powerful drug used in cancer treatments. It is also used to heal wounds like she has from her Vasculitis. The past two or three weeks I have seen a major improvement in not only my mothers health but in her attitude towards life. She is still the chronic complainer and can never see the positive side of anything but she is excited for the holiday coming up and she isn't in hardly as much pain now. It does my heart good to see her getting back to her old self.

The new job as cheering coach is going well. It is ALWAYS stressful and everyday there is some new obstacle to overcome but in general I think I am doing a good job for the district and my girls look wonderful. Our first game went great and I hope to accomplish great strides with these young ladies before the end of the season. I may be losing two or three today for different reasons that are out of my control but other than that I wake up every day thinking about what I can teach them that 's new and fun. OMG! I think I might even be a little excited about this little venture of mine. Can you believe it?

Baby Girl is growing up...and after reading a journal she's been keeping at school in writing class, I am resting easier knowing that she really DOES have a handle on her life. I've stressed about her lately because I see her in different moods and she won't talk to me or her daddy about stuff anymore and that had me concerned. Some of the enteries she made in that journal proved to me that I have nothing to fear. She is a normal teenage girl growing into a beautiful young woman and her passions are way more than just "what am I going to get" or "it's all about ME" . She has a true heart and strong convictions and I am proud to say that she is MINE!

Hubby and I are somewhat on the road to recovery. Actually we are more like, lets cross this bridge when we come to it. We still have some major problems to work through but we are both putting it all on hold at least through the holidays. There will be another time and place that will be a more appropriate time and place where we can devote our energy to getting it right once and for all. I watched him last night as he lay sleeping and I tried to picture life without him...Guess what? Can't do it! He is my whole world and without him I'd be nothing. He is a royal pain in the ass and is the core of most of my stress but I do love him and so much want to work out our problems. Wish me luck...I'm going to need it!

I'm trying to get back into blogging...so much to let out, some good some bad, and blooging really helps. I'm sure you all know that. And my blogger buddies are the best in the world. Sis Mel keeps me grounded every day and Sheri offers great advice and sends humor though her posts. Scotty has lifted my spirits when they were at their lowest, even if he didn't relize he was doing it and I am so grateful for the three of these people! I'm lucky to have them in my life.

The holiday rush is over for me...Now I only need to go to the store when I WANT to go. My shopping is done and it feels great! Now I just have the never ending task of wrapping everything. Yuck! Christmas at Mels this weekend and it should be a blast. After that it's just whatever I decide to do here. Office party at work on the 16th and if I go I'll get extremely drunk as usual. I don't think I'm going this year though...just not up to the hangover the next day...I'm feeling too good lately!

Speaking of feeling good, that's a bit misleading...I am having some health issues but nothing serious, or at least I don't think they are anything too serious. Really should make an appointment with the doctors but just can't seem to find the time. After the holiday for sure though. Eyedoctor will get a call soon and I really want to get rid of these glasses...I hate them. Then the dermatologist so I can find out what this shit on my face is...I know it's not acne and not rosacea...hoping it isn't some form of cancer. All I know is my face is very tender and scaring more and more. I'm not too pleased with that either. So All is not perfect in Julie's world but I'm definitely trying to make it better!

Scotty asked me today for a picture of myself. Since I am now the proud owner of a digital camera I just might try to come up with one. Please don't be frightened away people, I'm not the prettiest person but I am not an old hag either. I promise my darlin' Scotty that you will get a more recent and BETTER picture soon...better than the one I sent you! Maybe Mel and I will work on that this weekend! We'll see.

Guess that's enough about me for one day...I think it's time for another MEME so I'm going exploring to find a good one. Til next time beautiful people!

This One Is For Scotty!

2005-12-05T07:18:00.000-05:00

Scotty asked how I got my cookies from the last post to look so grand...well, I decided to share the recipe and decorating hints here so you all can try them. Have a great time with it if you do try them...

First you need the recipe: (I usually double this recipe)
1/3 c. Shortening
1/3 c. Margarine
2 c. Flour
3/4 c. Sugar
1 Egg
1 TBLS. Milk
1 tsp. Baking Powder
1 tsp. Vanilla (the real stuff...not imitation!)

In a bowl with an electric mixer blend butter and shortening until well blended. Add 1/2 of the flour and the remaining ingredients. Beat until well combined scraping sides of bowl occasionally. Beat or stir in the remaining flour. Chill for one or two hours before trying to handle. Roll out on floured surface (if you want sweeter cookies rool out on a surface covered with powdered sugar). THIS PART IS IMPORTANT!! YOU NEED SPECIAL CUTTERS>
This is what you want...cutters that leave an impression. If you use hollow cutters you won't get the same effect on the cookies.

Bake 375 degrees 7-9 minutes. Do Not Grease the Cookie Sheet!

Decorating the Cookies:

This needs to be done BEFORE baking!

Make an EGG PAINT...

Yolks of about three or four eggs. Beat the yolks slightly in a bowl and then add a small amount of water. I'd say two or three tablespoons but I never measure it. It should thin down to about the consistency of orange juice. Once you've done this seperate the yolk mixture into as many bowls as you want colors. Once seperated, add liquid food coloring to each bowl in the colors that you want. Mix them with seperate forks so colors don't blend. "Paint" your cookies with new clean paint brushes...the kind little kids use for watercolors are the best. 99 cents at Walmart for about 20 of them! Use a different brush for each color! I usually put two or three brushes in each color so everyone can paint without waiting! Once your cookies are painted, be sure to sprinkle on colored or plain white sugar for added sparkle! Bake as directed!

Have fun my blogger pals and Scotty...I WANT PICTURES!!!!

Tis' The Season To Be Jolly...

2005-12-03T21:15:00.000-05:00

It's Christmas Cookie Time! And I just have to say they came out great. We made it a family night this year and it was really fun. Mom and Dad came over and helped us paint our cookies and then we played cards. Here is Baby Girl (not too happy that I'm posting a picture of her) and her Grandfather hard at work. The finished product came out better than expected. And having two extra people here for it made it much easier. It is usually a good three hour project for Baby Girl, her dad and I. This time it took a little over an hour start to finish. And clean up was minimal with everyone pitching in. After we all sampled the cookies, and played a few minutes of UNO, we settled in the living room to watch some family tv. It's times like this that I cherish the most.

When I was my daughters age, Dad was usually passed out right after supper and Mom was busy dealing with it all. I remember putting up the Christmas Tree with her. She always tried to make it a memerable event for my sister and I but Dad would usually come in half way through it drunk and obnoxious. The job would get done and I seem to remember it was always done when there was a Christmas show on the television, like Rudolph or something like that. Dad would pass out and snore extremely loud on the couch and Mom would get upset because he couldn't stay sober for a special evening with his kids. My sister was always bossy and I only got to hang a select few ornaments and if I was lucky if I got a handful of tinsel to hang. Although it is a fond memory, I also remember telling myself when I was older that if I had a family it wouldn't be like this. Tonight I think we accomplished that. It was a special evening to remember and one I hope my daughter cherishes when she gets older and has a family of her own. What strikes me funny about the evening is the involvement of my parents. Dad is no longer drinking, (hasn't for about 20 years now) and Mom is discovering that she can have all those memories she was never able to have when my sister and I were young by being involved in things that Hubby and I do with Baby Girl. This was a good night...and I so needed a good one for a change. Maybe it's the magic of the season sneaking through the cracks, I don't know, but whatever it is, I LOVE IT! Hope you all share special memories like this during this holiday season. Luvs to you all!

A new outlook on things to come!

2005-12-01T10:05:00.000-05:00

Ok, the venting that I did in my last post helped...as did the two hour talk I had with hubby dear yesterday. We got a lot of things out in the open and now we just need to work on them. Things don't seem as bleak as they did to me when I wrote my last post. Now on to better things...

I spent the morning helping my mother put up her Christmas Tree. It bothers me a little seeing her health failing to the point where she has to ask for help to do certain things. I put the tree together for her and put the lights on it. She thinks she can handle the rest on her own. I think that's a good thing...I thought about how I'd feel if someone else decorated MY tree. I wouldn't like it much. You know how it is...you like the lights a certain way and the ornaments have to be hung so each little face is looking out not in. This is my tree...
Notice all the ornaments...it's not a very good picture...It is strung with red wooden beads that resemble cranberries and there are ornaments from every year of my life as well as my baby girls. The reindeer under were made by me...YAY! This is a close up of my favorite ornament...I got it when I was about five years old.

Notice how the face looks OUT! Every ornament on my tree is that way...can't have those little faces looking away. Anyway, mom's tree is similar...she uses silver garland and colored lights and her ornaments aren't as plentiful. Still she likes it done her way just like we all do. I watched her for a while and then I had to leave because I couldn't handle seeing her have trouble holding the hooks. Her hands have deteriorated tremendously over the last year or so. It will take her most of the day to finish it and I'm sure she'll ask for my help more than once.

Having the trees and lights all up is making me get excited for the holiday ahead. Ours starts next weekend when we will be traveling to Greenville for the weekend to celebrate with Hubby's family. And guess what? I actually have the shopping for it done! I know it's early to celebrate Christmas but I guess it is the weekend that works for Brother In-Law and since he and his wifey are putting on the party it should be their choice. We are looking forward to making some very happy memories with them. The boys will take the kids to a hockey game Saturday and sister in-law and I will do some bonding and drinking and eating and cooking and whatever else comes up. I have really needed a get-away and this might be just what the doc ordered! Sunday the rest of the family will come for the family Christmas party and I am just keeping crossed fingers that everything goes off without a hitch. Sister In-law would be happy if everyone just decided to not show up I'm sure..HAHA! Just Kidding Mel! I personally am hoping for nice relaxing party where the family reunites and starts actually ACTING like a family. You know, the kind of family you see on the Cosby Show or the Walton's. I bet we all have that same dream.

Next on my list of to-do's for the holiday season is to FINISH the shopping, shich I plan to do tomorrow with Hubby and then this weekend it's time to make the first batch of Christmas cookies with Baby Girl. Oh, and I probably should wrap those gifts that go to Greenville with me next weekend. I wonder if I could get away with just putting them in Walmart bags and setting them under the tree? Hee Hee! We might give that one some thought!

Update on Cheering Job...It's actually going ok. We have our first game Monday and the girls are totally not ready...BUT...I'm going for it anyway. They look awesome in sidelines and if we can't do the halftime routine then we just won't do it. Hubby brought home a magazine article last night about the dangers of Cheerleading as a sport and the article tells how one gilr died because she was a flier and the bases didn't catch her. Makes me a bit nervous, one as a coach responsible for the safety of 13 girls and two as a mom who has a daughter on her squad that is a flier. Yesterday's practice was a bit stressful and about half of the girls just don't keep focused. We plan to make a change about that today. Yes my friends, it's time to be the bitch coach that I know I have in me. I have no choice, it's either that or someone gets hurt. And I refuse to let that happen. So, with that said, it's time to go and change into my gym clothing and head of to this glorious job that I was talked into doing. Til next time blogger Buds...see, I told you I was moving on to happier posts! Luv you all!

ONE MORE VENT...THEN MAYBE WE CAN GET BACK TO HAPPY POSTS FOR A CHANGE!

2005-11-29T19:41:00.000-05:00

I took some time this weekend to watch the way people change when dealing with the holidays. As I was doing some shoppingg I noticed how people are in such a hurry and how they get irritated at the slightest mishap. Mothers were buzzing around department stores looking for everything on thier Christmas lists, with the kids in tow mind you, and kids were in the carts or being held by the hand as they screamed at the top of thier lungs because mommy had gotten them up at 5 a.m. just to get to the store for the early bird specials. Dad's got upset in the parking lots trying to find parking spaces really close to the front of the store so they can hurry up and get to hell out of there as soon as thier wives were done with their obsessions to be the first in line for that deal of the day. As baby girl and I did our shopping we were thinking to ourselves " What in hell is the big deal?" I WAS there for deals too but it's not like anyone was going to die if I didn't get that perfect sweater for Aunt Sue. I just didn't feel the tension that these other women were obviously feeling. I've changed my way of thinking over the past few months and maybe that's why I refuse to let the holiday hustle and bustle get to me. What happened to the days when getting together with family and friends to enjoy each others company and talk about old times was what the holidays were all about? I miss those days. I am lucky to have a daughter that looks at the finer things in life...loving, caring, togetherness. It makes my heart swell with pride when I look at her and think of the fine young woman she's becoming.
This time of year everyone seems to be on edge. Take tonight for instance...Yes, you all must have known that this post was leading to something!!! Today was a difficult day for my family. We got up early to head south to York to attend the funeral of a very special man to all three of us. He was my "other dad" and my baby was born on his birthday. He meant the world to my husband, who has never really had a dad taht he can actually "look up to" with respect. We all had a very difficult time dealing with this death and I suppose it put us all a little on edge. This evening, Hubby was on the computer, a place where he seldom gets since baby and I hog it all the time. I was puttering around the house doing the housework a little and trying to catch up on laundry. I remembered that I hadn't gone in to my hubbys work website to take a peek at his paycheck for the week and came over to stand behind him to ask him to go in and check it for me so I could plan the weekly bills. As he was finding his way to the site, my little notifier came on telling me email was waiting and I said (half joking and in a nice way) "Hurry up cuz I got mail!" He abruptly turned to me and told me to KISS HIS ASS...AND HE MEANT IT! He was disrespectful and snapped at me for no reason. In front of my daughter even and that made me really upset. I snapped back and told him that if he didn't watch it he'd be finding HIS ass in divorce court. Yes, I said this pretty sarcastically and maybe a little mean...but I'd had a rough day and just didn't need this now. This isn't the only time this has happened lately. A few weeks ago something pretty nasty happened between hubby and I. It didn't have anything to do with wife beating or anything remotely like that...but it did have to do with him lying to me and hiding things from me and I lost trust in him. Since that incident we haven't been on the same wave. He has been on vacation for hunting for a couple of weeks and I was busy with my book fair and coaching job. We pretty much stayed out of each others way but when we were together it was never "good". He'd get on my nerves or I'd get on his and we'd end up in little spats. A friend of mine told me to just forget that first incident ever happened and I AM trying to, but it isn't easy with all the other spats and stresses I've been under. Just when I think I am over it, something else happens to rock the boat and I get mad and hurt all over again. So, when what happened this evening happened, it hurt like hell and I just had to get out. I went for a VERY long walk around town, (yes alone like a dummy...I know better than that!) just to cool off and think. I tried to think about why hubby had been acting the way he has and a part of me wanted to believe that it was just because of the stress of the holidays like I saw on that shopping trip. Could it have the same irritating effect on men as it does on women? Or, maybe it is having that effect on me and I don't even realize it and hubby's actions of late are just coming from a reaction to my mood. I know in my heart that something is different and it scares me to think about what it might be...
Anyway, I am rambling and I hate it when I do that. At the funeral today people spoke of the man who had died and they spoke of the way he taught his son's that one's family and health and friends were more important than anything in life. They spoke of how the man always held his family is highest grace and loved them all unconditionally, even when they might have done things not too bright. He was always there to give his love and support even if he didn't agree with what his loved ones were doing. They spoke of how he taught his son's and grandkids that being together was more important than any material gift they could ever recieve. As I watched this family grieve for the man and saw the way they cared for one another and felt this deep loss in their family unit, I couldn't help but think of my situation. The family "togetherness" and closeness and respect for one another that this family has is what I long for. And I haven't had it here for a very long time.
Well, thanks for letting me get it out...even if it only makes sense to me. It's time like this when I am thankful for blogging...a place where you can just say what you want and not have to worry about what people think. Love to all my blogger pals

HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!

2005-11-21T17:51:00.000-05:00

I have survived last week and a busy weekend...surprisingly! Book Fair is over and was a huge success. I am a little disappointed that I didn't get anymore than a thank you for running it the whole week but I suppose that's what volunteering is all about. I have ran it the last three years mostly by myself and always have gotten at least some free books out of it. This year I got a thank you and that's it. Oh well!
Cheerleading is going well but not without it's obstacles. I've dealt with everything from girls fighting with each other and calling each other hatful names, to girls not being able to be a practices due to parents that don't have a clue how to schedule things around sports, to an attitude from my own flesh and blood that is almost impossible to deal with. AND IT'S ONLY THE FOURTH PRACTICE! It has been a tremendous amount of stress from day to day and I have had to say to myself every night that the next day will be better. Most of the time the next day has only proven to hand me more obstacles and headaches. I have discovered that it is a huge dictatorship and I don't deal well with that type of thing. Practice today was pretty rough. The girls look great on thier sideline cheers but halftime cheer isn't coming together as nicely as I had hoped it would and I can't seem to put my finger on what the problem is. I can only hope for a smooth first game without any injuries! You know, I think back to last year when the previous coach started talking me into doing this thing (with more talking from my husband on top of it) and even back then I got a knot in my tummy at the very thought of it. That knot is still there and I can honestly say I don't think I can do this! Of course I'm locked into it now so I have no choice. I will survive this next few months. I know I will. I still doesn't make the here and now any easier.
Baby girl is going through something I don't quite understand. She doesn't talk to me much about things anymore and asking her how her day was never comes without a look of annoyance. She has become a little withdrawn from her dad and I and we are both having a hard time dealing with the fact that she just doesn't want to involve us in her life right now. She has always been a conscientious student and she expects as much from herself as we do from her. Lately though (all year long actually) there has been no homework and no talk at all about what is going on in her classes. We had parent teacher conference tonday and her teachers assure us that she's doing fine. One said she's handing in asignments a little late but she IS getting them done and passed in. They tell me she is always working on her lessons with free time that they give them in class and I suppose that is how the homework is getting done but I am still uneasy about the fact that I never see her finished work. I don't know what's going on with her but I am determined to figure it out.
On a more positive note (yes, I do have so good aspects of my life) I am almost done with the holiday shopping. Hubby and I went by ourselves this past weekend and managed to get almost everything we needed. I still have a few things to get and a ton of cash to stuff into envelopes for those people I have now idea on what to get them. But, things are coming together nicely and I am getting excited about the dreaded holiday. Thanksgiving will be small with only my parents coming. I love to entertain and would love a bigger crowd but just having five of us here will be much easier and less stressful. I might even be able to wait until Thursday to put up my tree. I thought I would have to put it up early this week due to having no time at all to get it done. I know my food will be good and I am looking forward to a relaxing evening enjoying my pies after a delicious meal. I just might have to pop in a good Christmas movie and drink a little eggnog to top off what I see is going to be an easy day.
Blogging probably won't happen until next week sometime for me but I want to tell you all to have a wonderful Thanksgiving and every one of us has the right to overeat from time to time.
Til next time take care and love to all.

Things I am thankful for...My dughter, my husband, my closest friends and family, the sun peeking through from time to time and a good song on the radio. I am also thankful for my blogger buddies, and the endless support they give me when I need it the most. My cats! Can't forget my animals and the unconditional love they give me every day. And my health isn't all that bad at the moment so I am thankful for that also. I'm thankful for chocolate because I know there have been days that I bet I wouldn't have made it through without it. And as always I am thankful that God is guiding me through each and every day of my life.

Oh What A Week!!!

2005-11-16T18:12:00.000-05:00

I started my job this week as Cheering Coach for my daughters school. I have had two practices and have already had to deal with some pretty nasty problems. One cheerleader came to me yesterday at the school (oh, I forgot to mention that this is the week that I do the book fair all day on top of my new job) and she handed me a note from another cheerleader that said the words "You are a fucking dumbass FAT cheerleader. You are the fattest fucking cheerleader I've ever seen". Then I had an issue with one cheerleader who can't afford the sneakers so I had to go to the school and approach the "student needs program" with it. I'm ordering her sneakers anyway! Then I had a mom call me and tell me that she would like it if I could keep her daughter and another girl away form each other on the squad because they hate each other. Well, I can't do that with only 12 girls on the team now can I? It's all just a mess of shit that I'm trying to deal with and get out of the way so we can start having some fun!

The book fair is going ok. Long days in the lobby of the school and doing is alone isn't easy, but I'm managing. I'm dragging my ass on the ground but I'm managing. We are about three quarters to out goal and hopefully by Friday noon we will have reached it. The kids have been coming in by the loads, 20 or more at a time, and most of them have no clue and cough and hack all over me so I know that I'll be sick for Thankgiving...I JUST KNOW IT!

Thanksgiving...AH! Theres a thought! I can't wait for the turkey and pies. And after that I'm even getting anxious for Christmas. I MIGHT even put my Christmas tree up this weekend. I long for peaceful evenings in front of the television watching my nice lights on my tree and looking at all my ornaments and just feeling all "cozy" just like the Grinch did after he acted like a jerk!

So that's what's going on in my life at the moment. I know this isn't a very long post but I wanted to touch with all of you and let you know I'm still alive. After this week things will calm down a bit and I hope to get back to regular blogging...FUN blogging! Hope all of you are well and I will still be reading your every word. Love to all.

Annoying Little Habits!

2005-11-10T20:30:00.000-05:00

Lately it has been brought to my attention that annoying little habits are all around us and some of us don't even realize how annoying we are. Some of the things annoying me have always been right there in front of me and never seemed to bother me until recently. I wonder why that is. Let me tell you a few things that have bugged me and see if they would bug you also...

someone sitting and clicking something, whether it be thier finger nails or a pen or tapping their fingers, while you are trying to watch a good show on the tube....

someone instant messaging over and over when you obviously avoiding them by not answering...do they ever quit?

someone using their ustensil to scrape or stir whatever they are eating, over and over and over...the noise of the metal on the plate is enough to drive you nuts!

men who brush thier teeth and then hack and spit at the end...like they swallowed half the toothpaste. Never said men were a graceful sort of creature.

how about someone that badmouths someone you love, and because you don't want to walk on eggshells with this person you go along with it even though what you really want to do is give them a good tongue lashing.

Someone who talks and talks when you are trying to watch a good movie

Oh, here's a good one for all you pet owners...what about when you are sleeping better than you have in days and the damned cat decides to lick your face at 5:00am. I hate that!

what about these bratty little kids of ours that have no manners and chew with their mouths open so all you hear is spit.

the mailman comes and it has been raining and becasue this certain mailman thinks he's more holy than God and can do anything he wishes, your mail is all stuck together wet.

then there's the obvious annoyances...inconsiderate people that don't cover their mouths when they cough...stickers that the store puts on something and there's just no way you can get all the residue off...the little old lady/man that drives about fifteen miles an hour on the day that you seem to be late for everything.

Now, I am no prude...I know that I have annoying little habits just like everyone else. I tend to "overthink" things and when I'm stressed about things it's even worse. I always have to have the last word in an argument with hubby. I stutter when I talk. I get tongue tied and laugh too much when I'm nervous or talking to someone I feel inferior to. I'm a computer hog and hate it when other people read my email. and it's rather annoying the way I am so paranoid about germs, if you have even a hint of a cough don't come to my house.

All of us have the power to change ourselves so those annoying little habits are no more...I really am trying to change so my own aren't as annoying. Now I wish others would do something about thier annoying habits also. And those of you out there that think they have none...you are all a bunch of liars and that might be the most annoying habit of all. I can say this, that is one habit that I'm proud I don't have...I don't lie!

Annoyances can be funny at times too, like the cat licking your face one. Do any of you want to add to my list...feel free.

What Will The Day Bring?

2005-11-10T07:17:00.001-05:00

Today is like any other day...Kid off to school, errands to run, house to clean. Your average run of the mill kind of day. It's a shortened school week for the Friday holiday and because of that there is a dance at the school tonight. This will be the first of my daughters dances that I am NOT chaperoning and it feels wierd. Like I should be there! But, I have to work tonight so it's just not possible. I think this will be a good transition for baby girl anyway. Time to cut those apron strings. So, as I sit here watching Survivor tonight she will be swinging her hips to funky music and having a grand time.

Tomorrow won't be you average run of the mill day though...Hubby took a floater so we could get that dreaded Christmas shopping done...YES PEOPLE, I SAID DONE!!! I am refusing to go into the stores after Thanksgiving because of the craziness of it all and since my coaching job starts next week, tomorrow will be the only day I can really do the shopping. I am already dreading it. We will hit the mall in the morning, (and TJMaxx, Target, Burlington, Walmart, The Ski Shop, Kohls, Best Buy...this list goes on and on...) and I will drag myself into the house with a major headache and an empty checkbook probably late evening. It will be a long a dreaded day. Hubby has his own ideas on shopping so I'm sure there will be arguments and baby girl wants to go with us so that means no shopping for her. That's a major downer. I was hoping to get a bunch of stuff for her also. I will have to go again sometime to finish up without her tagging along. Don't have a clue when that is supposed to happen since I have no free days. I do have Saturdays but Oh, It SCARES me to think aobut what the stores will be like in a couple of weeks.

This morning I think I'm off to buy skis for Baby Girl. Hubby and I wanted to do it together but I don't see it happening. I will go see Todd at the ski shop

and see what kind of deal he can give me and if I find something I like I will let hubby stop in his way home from work to ok my selection and purchase them. Sounds like a difficult way to do it but what choice do I have? I just want this whole gift buying process over with quickly...it's worse than pulling teeth and cleaning toilets! ARGH!

On a brighter note, last night I did some cooking. Needed to clean out the overstuffed freezer to make room for my turkeys so I used up the tomatoes and made chili. It will be easy meals for a few days so that's a great thing. Just heat and eat! I also embarked on a mission to make a perfect Key Lime Pie. First time I've ever made one and I'm almost frightened to have a taste. I'm sure it won't compare to the one I had a couple of weeks ago at Longhorn. This one has a light meringue on it and I'm not sure I'll like that. I think I'll go try it now...I know it's early but I'm anxious to see what it's like.

So, that's what the day will be like...I wonder how many monkey wrenches I'll have to jump over? Later Peeps!

A Better Mood...FINALLY!

2005-11-08T20:15:00.000-05:00

I promised myself that I would not abandon my "post" and that no matter how I was feeling about things I would continue with this blogger thing. Although I read many every day I find it hard to post about the same old thing every day. My latest posts have been about negativity in my life and it's something I just don't want to think about anymore. So, now I am on my own mission to find a more positive place to be. Yes, all the negative stuff is still happening and even more negative things have surfaced since my last post, but for now I am putting it in the back of my mind and I will only think about it on my own time. So, Here are some positives in my life...

I mentioned in an earlier post that I got the coaching position I had applied for. It really wasn't that difficult to get the job...I was the only applicant. This past week I have spent about three hours a day on paperwork and organization. Finally today I think I am ready to begin. The first practice will be on the 14th and I am extremely nervous that I will be a total flop. I have high expectations for myself and the squad and I just want to do something RIGHT for a change. I will be very disappointed in myself if I don't do a good job. The squad is a small one and that is going to make it difficult to organize stunt groups but I will manage somehow.

Next week is my week of volunteering also for the school. I have always felt that volunteering is an important part of my life. I will be running the annual Fall Book Fair to raise money and receive books for the library...another cause that is close to my heart. The week will be a busy one...starting at the book fair at 6:45 am and not ending til after cheering practice at 4:00. I'm excited to see what I can do to invite a bigger crowd to the fair. It will be tough getting people to come and spend money the way the world is right now, with gas and oil prices skyrocketing. Maybe if I get the word out that books make a great gift idea it might draw people in. I'll be thinking for the rest of the week on it and how I can make it successful for the school.

I'm getting some of my shopping done for the holidays and after unloading a lot of my stress on my husband I've actually been able to enjoy it for the most part. I always enjoy finding something I know will please my family and friends when they unwrap on Christmas morning. I took my dughter and niece to a craft fair this past weekend and that was fun too and I got a few ideas on what they might like for Christmas. It's been a difficult year trying to find things for baby girl. She's at a tough age and it makes it more difficult when I have a daughter taht asks for NOTHING. Now I know some of you think that's a crock...13 year olds thrive on seeing how much they can get out of their parents. Well, not my baby. She says that being with family and celebrating by just being together is more important than any gifts she could receive. And she REALLY means it. Yes she has a wish list like any other kid but her list has hardly anything on it. It makes me feel like I'm doing something right in raising my daughter and that she is going to be taking good morals with her as she embarks on her own life.

As the holidays near I'm looking forward to something that I thought wasnt' going to happen this year...I'm actually looking forward to spending time with the in-laws. No not all of them but I'm really excited to be spending time with those who are most important to me. I have high hopes and a picture in my head on how I think the whole weekend will go and I just hope it really comes close to what I'm thinking. I really need the getaway. I also plan on getting a little tipsy that weekend too...but not to the point that I don't have a good time. I'm going to keep thinking positively and keep my fingers crossed that we all have an enjoyable weekend.

So...that's it for tonight but I am going to try to keep those negative burdens in the back of my mind. They will still be there and I will deal with them at another, more convenient time. Have a wonderful week ahead my friends...till next time...

Just Getting By...

2005-11-03T18:23:00.000-05:00

Ook...Many of you have been on my case for not posting anything for a while. If you read my last post you will have realized that I've been going through some stuff, and although it may not have seemed that "intense" to some of you, it is still that way for me. Actually no even more so...
I am trying to spend time thinking aobut hwat the root of all my problems are and so far I haven't figured it out. I am better, not quite as sad, but I still cry just about every day and many times during the day I have a terrible overwhelming feeling wash over me.

As for what has been going on in my life, well, not a whole lot. I got the coaching position for cheerleading that I applied for so that will keep me busy until February. I'm a little nervous about it but I am finding support in a very good friend and it helps. Baby Girl is ecstatic that I will be coaching her again. I bet because she thinks she will get special treatment from mom...NOT!
Hubby has been working too many hours, not by choice, and I miss him every day. He does have vacation coming up in a couple of weeks but it will be spent hunting. I will be running a book fair at the school that entire week so time spent with hubby will be very little. Anyone out there want to donate a second honeymoon to Hawaii to me? Hubby and I need the time away! LOL
I have been trying to get some holiday shopping done. It isn't going as smoothly as I had hoped. I stressed out about Hubby's family and had a major meltdown about having it all on my shoulders and sweet Hubby up and said he'd handle anything that had to be done for his side. I didn't realize it until today what a relief it was for me. Thank goodness for my dear husband.
I have done quite a bit of shopping for my daughter and it has been pretty easy so far. She asked for very little and when we discussed it with her she said there just wasn't anything she really wanted and asked if we could get a digital camera for all of us instead of extra under the tree...so...now I'm in the market for a decent digital. Any suggestions out there?
Weather has turned colder up here in rural Maine but I love it. I long for evenings under a comfy blanket watching movies and eating popcorn. I look forward to cross country skiing, even though I'll probably end up with a broken neck from it. Hubby and I ALWAYS take long walks after supper when there is a light snow falling and I can't wait for that either. The cold on the other hand we can all do without.
I have some medical shit going on and I really SHOULD get myself to the doctors office soon. Just never seems to be enough time or money for it. I would elaborate on the stuff going on but I really don't htink it's anything other than me getting older. Some of my close friends think I'm playing with fire...maybe I am. I just hate doctors and usually have to be pretty sick before I'll go. It's just the way I am. Some of the problems have to do with my teeth and that will be ok to wait on. Other problems have to do with "women" issues. Believe me you don't want to know! And I'm not really sure where the depression and crying is steming from. I'll figure it all out someday and until then I just go through the motions of the day everyday.

I know this isn't my usual type of post but I wanted to let you all know that I'm ok and thank you for caring enough to wonder about me. Soon I'll be back to my usual self and I'll do some awesome posts...until then remember that I read each and every one of you every day. And most of you make me smile. Thank you for that! Love to you all....

Julies World...For Today Anyway!

2005-10-25T06:06:00.000-05:00

Woke up today to giant puddles and cats and dogs falling from the sky again.

It goes along directly with my mood today. I have some things on my mind that are troubling me and just can't seem tot shake them so I figured maybe if I blog about them I'll be able to see stuff in a different way...

Lets start with money, since it seems to be the biggest topic around here lately. Hubby has been working his hiney off and there still just never seems to be enough. We aren't BEHIND on anything, we just don't have anything extra to play with and haven't for a very long time. I'm beginning to stress about Christmas, (and this is something I promised myself I wouldn't do this year after last years many family issues) and I'm getting tired of sitting home day after day because I don't feel right spending money on gas to do NOTHING! I thought this week would be a little easier, Hubby came home the other day happy to tell me he was receiving a gain-sharing check, but when I went online this morning, even with the gain share the paycheck isn't really any bigger than a regular check after Uncle Sam bounced him into a higher tax bracket. So, even though there is a LITTLE extra, it's not enough to make me feel "comfortable" again. I AM happy that the truck will be able to get a new set of feet on it so maybe it will stop hydroplaning all over the road. After the feet, there won't be much left to get moving on that gift list for Christmas though.

Let that bounce us into the next topic...CHRISTMAS! This used to be my favorite time of year and I always started my shopping in July so I could have the October/November/December time frame to work on new recipes and crafty ideas. For the past several years though the gift list for approximately 27 people didn't get even looked at until after Baby Girls birthday. No exception this year either...Baby Girls birthday was last week and here I am beginning that dreaded list. The list has dropped off drastically from 27 to around 19 (that is IF I'm counting right this early in the morning) . Some on that list will get "food" gifts so I'm not worried about them, there is always flour and sugar and cocoa in the house! But now I have the task of trying to find the money to buy things for 12 kids and two sets of parents. I don't even know where to begin. Hubby and I had decided that we were going to just put cash or gift cards in envelopes and deliver them to each persons tree this year. He will be working a lot of overtime in December so we already know that joining in on the family festivities is out. After talking with a couple of other family members, we began to rethink the whole "cash in an envelope" thing because it isn't a very Christmas-like and thoughtful way of giving. Lord knows I wouldn't want to piss off anymore members of the family! So now we are back to making a list of gifts to be bought and that leads to the next problem. I had emailed one of the family members to ask if she thought her son would prefer the cash or a gift (keep in mind this kid is extremely difficult to please and buy for), and if she knew if the little ones in the family needed new sleds. Her email reply to me was one sentence..."I refuse to even think about Christmas until AFTER November 12th"! This really rubbed me the wrong way, all I was doing was asking a couple of very simple questions I thought. So I ask you this, am I wrong in starting conversations about Chrsitmas this early in the year? It seems every time I bring up the subject to anyone, (and yes lately this has ben a daily topic of conversation) people start getting all pissed off at me. Me being the person I am and not allowing myself to take anyones crap think about it as "Too Fucking Bad! It's an issue with Hubby and I right now and I'll talk about it all I want!" Still, I don't really want to allienate the family because of it. If I knew how to get the issue out of my head I'd stop bringing up the subject!

Lets talk about sister issues...since this is the next thing troubling my mind...First let me bring you all up to this point. My sister and I are like night and day and have never really gotten along. A few years ago something happened and she got pissed off and we both said some things that shouldn't have been said and to make a very long story short, we haven't spoken in about three years. Not even a hello! Yes we show up at family events and steer clear of each other. Until recently... a few weeks ago, when my mother went to the hospital with the mess on her legs, sister dear started talking to me again. I knew at the time that it was because she was trying to get information about Mom's medical problems and of course I told her everything. Now, almost three months later, she is coming to my house for different events, visiting with her kids, and acting like nothing ever happened. I'm ok with this, the whole time we haven't spoken I have told myself and others that if she walked back into my life I'd be willing to sweep everything under the rug, with not hesitation. Well, here we are and even though it's nice to be able to be in the same room with her, the same old issues that tore us apart are still surfacing and I walk on eggshells when she's around. I hate this feeling! Because of circumstances that have happened, not only with my sister, I don't trust ANYONE and I expect anyone that is a part of my life to stomp on my heart at any given moment! That's why I refuse to let anyone get that close to me again! Maybe that's why I love animals so much...they are the only creatures on earth that will give you true unconditional love! Why do you think I have three cats? If I could handle more I'd have them in a heartbeat!

Job issues...that's the next thing troubling me. I applied for the coaching postion at the school and now it's a waiting game to see if I'll get called on it. I really want the job but I still feel a little under qualified to do the job professionally. I know that if anyone else applies for the job it wil go to the interview stage and I completely bomb at interviews! I also know that most other candidates will have more training for the position than I do so I highly doubt if it comes to interviewing that I will actually get the job! I have mixed feelings about this...I'd really feel bad not getting the position but it certainly would be nice to just be a parent in the bleachers at these games for a change! It's been a very long time since that has happened! My stomach is all fluttery and I sit at home everyday waiting for the phone to ring and it still hasn't. Even if the phone rang and I GOT the position, I'd still be all stressed out and nerved up about my capabitlies. Am I taking on too much or is this something I can handle? Of course, I WILL do the job if it is offered to me because the money would come in really handy right now (even though its a stipend position and I wont' see that money til at least March).

So once again Julie is a complete stressed out mess. I'm trying not to be this way and I really am a positive person at heart! I think it's just one of those days and I really can't seem to get a grip on life. For those of you who are close to me, I promise not to bring up these subjects other than on here...that way you won't have to listen to me babbling on and on unless you want to read it!

I Am Such A Needy Person I Couldn't Stop At Just Ten!

2005-10-22T06:35:00.000-05:00

What you do is Google your name, followed by the word ‘needs’ (it's best to put the phrase in quotation marks). Try it! It was fun! Plus, you might be VERY surprised at what YOU need.

Here is what Julie needs.....

Julie needs an early start...Ok, I thought 5:00 am was early enough...geesh, what do they expect?

Julie needs to leave it all behind... Yes I do tend to carry things on and not leave them behind me...I'll give them this one.

Julie needs to drink more water... Considering that's all I really drink is water, I can't see how I need this...although it's always good to increase your intake so I'll go with it!

Julie needs to work on her parenting skills... I'm doing the best I can and I know that sometimes my skills could use some tweaking, that's why I blog!

Julie needs a Kidney Transplant...Ok, this one scared me! I didnt even know there was anything wrong with my kidneys!

Julie needs some real hands on comforting...YeeHa! The more hands on I can get the better for me...NOW I REALLY NEED HUBBY TO COME HOME AND START A HANDS ON SESSION! Woo Hoo!

Julie needs a job... Damned Straight I do!

Julie needs something to break the monotony... Yes I do! I'm so sick of the same old same old.

Julie needs a Julie account... I like this one. And anyone that wants to contribute to that account can go right ahead, be my guest!

Julie needs her emotional chip upgraded... Yup! And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Julie needs healing from God... I think we all need a little spritual healing from time to time.

Julie needs a top that barely skims over the hips... I have been dressing a little more risque these days so Hey, why not!

Julie needs sleep... This one is a given, seeing as how I get up at 5:00 every morning, even on weekends.

and Julie needs to volunteer... Ok, this one really pissed me off a little. Volunteering is a way of life for me...and I give more than my share of time to it. I agree that there are many areas that depend on volunteering to get good end results but do youreally think it needs to be just ME volunteering?

Ok, those of you who know me and what I'm like can see that the results of this little adventure are right on the mark. I loved doing this and it is kind of freaking me out a little becuase it was so close to who I am....Hope you all try this at home (or work, or in bed, or whereever you have your computer hooked up).

Another Fun Thingy To Keep Us All Busy!

2005-10-20T17:04:00.000-05:00

Complete the following sentences:
1) My uncle once: Got arrested and thrown in jail for taking a couple of old tires out of an abandoned barn. He got three days in jail for it and it is still on his personal record as a felony! (oh, and by the way, it was two uncles...they both did it at the same time)
2) Never again in my life: Will I wear my heart on my sleeve. I've learned that lesson more than once. When you trust someone they usually end up stomping on you!
3) When I was five: I went to my brownie troop and told everyone that someone had came in the night before and hurt my parents and that was why my hair and clothes were a mess. I told them this because I was embarassed to tell them the truth, that at the time my parents couldn't afford new clothing for me and mom never had time to comb my hair out properly.
4) High School was: A time in my life that I wish I could do all over again. I miss those days of dating and having fun...Boy, would I do some things different!
5) I will never forget: To tell the people that I care about the most that I love them...I will tell them often and they will know that I mean it!
6) I once met: Stephen King. I met him in the Bangor mall and he was really tall and scary looking. I see him once in a while here and there and he doesn't seem so big and powerful to me anymore.

7) There's this girl I know who: Got herself pregnant two months after telling me that she was ashamed to say that she was entering High School a virgin.
8) Once, at a bar: I sat by quietly as I watched my husband grab another girls ass...she was one of the girls performing for the "naughty nightie contest". After that Hubby and I seperated for about six months. (that after cutting him off him the bedroom for six months)
9) By noon I'm usually: Bored out of my mind! It's tough being a stay at home mom. The boredom eventually takes it's toll.
10) Last night I: watched Dances With Wolves for the 100th time. I love that movie ALMOST as much as Gone With The Wind.

11) If I had only: stayed working after having my daughter. I think life would have been better, for me at least.
12) Next time I go to church: I will probably be crying since I will either be at a wedding or a funeral.
13) What worries me most: Is not having enough money to live comfortably. I'm not a material person at all but having a little extra money certainly makes life a little less stressful.
14) When I turn my head right, I see: Iggy on the back on my couch being a very handsome boy!
15) When I turn my head left, I see: The complete mess my bar is...I really should stop blogging so much and clean up a little.
16) You know I'm lying when: I know this sounds a bit unusual but I don't lie. I really don't! And I'm trying to bring my daughter up to not lie also...it always seems to complicate your life when you lie so I just don't do it. The truth might hurt but it's the way I wasnt to live my life.
17) You know what I miss most about the eighties: High School Dances, The Music, Madonna and Micheal Jackson before they were so controversial. 18) If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: I have no idea...I hated Shakespeare
19) By this time, next year: I hope to be better off financially.
20) A better name for me would be: Anything but Julie. I've always hated my name. I don't even know why, I just don't like it.
21) I have a hard time understanding: The lyrics in todays music. And I don't understand taht either because I can pick apart any Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks song and tell you exactly what it's about, and they wrote some pretty complicated stuff.
22) If I ever go back to school I'll: apply myself to it and be on the dean's list.
23) You know I like you if: I carry on a conversation with you. I tend to ignore a person if I don't care for them...I let my mind wander and never make eye contact.
24) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: My Husband, for believing in me.
25) Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferarro are: Composers...DUH!
26) Take my advice, never: Let people walk all over you. Not only does it leave footprints it also gives you a very low self esteem
27) My ideal breakfast is: A bowl of Oatmeal. It's what I eat almost every morning.
28) A song I love, but do not have is: The original version of "My Favorite Things".
29) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: Warm clothing, A love for pizza (we have five pizza shops), and a deck of cards...there is absolutely nothing to do in Madison!
30) Why won't anyone: Just keep thier noses out of other peoples business. This drives me crazy...so what if the woman down the street humped the mailman, or that Joe is secretly having an affair with Steve...it's thier business isn't it, and noone elses. Live and Let Live!
31) If you spend the night at my house, DO: Make sure you love cats...Lucy will come and lick your face when it's time to get up.
32) I'd stop my wedding for: Anything life threatening.
33) The world could do without: Eminem and rappers like him!
34) I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Hey, don't knock it till you try it...I'll do anything once, twice if I like it!
35) My favorite blonde is: My daughter...and she is blonde in every sense of the word.
36) Paperclips are more useful than: Hmmm, never tried anything with paperclips, could make sex more fun...
37) San Diego means: A trip out of this hell hole to see Michelle and Christine...I'd love it.
38) And by the way: Although these meme's are fun and informational, someone really needs to come up with something different. I seem to be anwsering the same questions over and over.

True Love!

2005-10-19T14:00:00.000-05:00

I wanted to share this photo with you all....these are the two most important people in my life!
I never thought I could love so deeply...the way I do these two. At times they drive me crazy and I need a break from them but I think that's true in any relationship. Baby Girl just turned 13 and I can feel her slipping away from me, minute by minute and it makes me want to cry! Hubby and I have been a couple since November or 1984. Yup, that's 21 years, and I love him just as much now as I did then...actually more! Tim and I have been talking lately about what it will be like when Kristen leaves the house. I can't help but wonder if we'll still enjoy each other the way we do now. It seems that we never do anything without Baby strapped to our hip. It's at times like we have forgotten how to be a couple. Sex has been great, better than it has ever been, in the past several months (Medical reason's that could have taken my life made sex not very enjoyable for me) but that's another blog at another time. Soon it will just be me and him again...Kristen will be off on her own, making her own magical memories with a wonderful partner hopefully. I took Tim on a date Monday and we had a great time. I guess we just don't do stuff like that often enough. Kristen is a typical teen...she tells me only the things she WANTS to tell me and I hate it. Up until now she has always told me every detail of every day. Lately though that has changed. She gives me one word answers and is mad at me most of the time. That's ok though...I know that it's all a part of her growing up and becoming her own person and I love her enough to not pressure her. She has a lot of stuff to face in the next five or six years and I am here for her if she needs me. That's all I can do at this point. I just wanted to share with you all my two true loves! And I think this is the best picture they've ever taken together. Hope you enjoyed it! Later...

A Fun, Rain Soaked Saturday Night!

2005-10-17T19:20:00.000-05:00

As promised, I am now ready to post about Kristen's 13th birthday party. It was really quite fun and I loved to see Baby Girl happy. She had about eight kids out of 20 invited that actually showed up. I think it made it a better party though so I'm ok with it. It was Saturday night and pouring buckets out but the air was pretty warm and we put tarps up along with our canopy and our covered deck and it made it ok. There wasn't much for the kids to do but they entertained themselves which was a good thing since Kristen wouldn't let us adults leave the inside of the house.

Here is Kristen and her best friend... The camera sucks and the pictures didn't come out very well but I'll do my best to share with you. Baby Girl is on the right in the blue sweatshirt. All the kids looked like drowned rats because they thought they'd act like the children they really are inside and go puddle jumping in the rain. This picture is a relatively dry one.

The food was really good if I do say so myself! Nacho dip in a crock pot, ham and cheese wraps and then the usual teen party food...you know, m&m's, bbq chips, cookies (homemade pumpkin chocolate chip), homemade brownies, veggies and dip...you get the idea. And believe it or not most of it stayed dry and I didn't have to throw away too much. Eight kids went through about 60 drinks...not the alcoholic kind...sodas, Propel waters, juices...and they all seemed to have a really good time.
Bother and sister in-law came to help chaperone, which was a very easy job. They brought our niece Bre and her friend. Visiting with them made the evening much more enjoyable for hubby and me.

Here is Kristen and her other cousin Tom. He's from my side of the family. The two of them were very close when they were both in Junior High together and I hope they rebuild that closeness once she gets to high school with him next year. My sister and I don't get a long that well, we are like night and day and it just isn't a good mix, but Kristen and Tom are two peas. I can't wait to see what it's like next year!

Mel says that I stressed WAY TO MUCH over the party preparations, and I admit I obssessed a tad bit. I will definitely have to think long and hard before I decide to give her a Sweet 16 party. It probably wouldn't have been so bad for me if I hadn't had to do it all by myself. Hubby worked overtime the whole week before so he wasn't much help then. He did do more than his share on the clean up end of it and I love him for that.

So, enough about the party. I might post about it again soon but there really isn't much more to tell...They came, they ate, they got wet, they had a good time, they left! YAY! Success! Those of you who have been reading know that I'm having trouble inserting links to my posts. It's driving me absolutey buggy! Grrrr! I tried to link Mel and I tried to link Baby Girl Kristen and niether one worked. I'll figure it out someday. Actually, Tomorrow night when I call Mel and she can walk me through it! Or Dear Scotty, bless his heart for offering to help this pathetically computer illiterate Blogger Buddy! Hope you all enjoyed the recap of the Birthday party. I'll post again soon. Luvs to you all!

My Girl /Boy Results.

2005-10-15T11:06:00.000-05:00

You are 20% Boy and 80% Girl!!

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

I always new that the power of WOMAN would rule! And for once this test was right on with me. I love to dress pretty and cuddle kittens and pick flowers in a field. I also love a good fight and speak my mind and I feel that I can do anything any man can do and some things I can do even better. My heart does rule my emotions...that's why I'm sucha wreck all the time. And I do have ups and downs every single hour of every day! Cute and Perky I'd have to disagree with...I like to be feminine but you take me as you get me...nothing perky and cute about me!

Hope you can get to this little test from my post..and thanks Sheri and Mel for the fun. Later...

OMG! I KILLED THE CAT!

2005-10-14T06:34:00.000-05:00

Tim and I got into a HUGE fight about hunting. He is determined that I am going to go out into the woods and kill something. Well, NOT! He has been yelling at me and trying to force me into doing it. He knows very well that killing something is not in my nature. We were into it pretty bad yesterday and finally I stood up, went to my dad's house and got his 410 out of the guncase. Loaded it and pulled up and pulled the trigger. In the corner was my mother's cat and I pulled right up and shot the damned thing. OMG I KILLED OLIVER!Tim came over and picked up the cat, which was still twitching because it hadn't completely died yet. He put it in a towel and looked at me and said "Well, it's a little on the small side but the meat will be nice and tender". He wrapped up the cat a went outside. I dropped the gun AND MYSELF to the floor and started screaming over what I had just done. My body was trembling and I don't think I could have cried any harder.

~~ I awoke in a cold sweat and my whole body was shaking. Obviously this was just a dream...OR WAS IT?

~~So, people I ask you this...DO YOU THINK I'M STRESSED OR WHAT?~~

Let The Games Begin!

2005-10-12T17:55:00.000-05:00

So two days later, the depression isn't quite as bad and even though I still have a headache that goes away for a few hours and then comes back full force, I'm coping better with things. The sun came out for the day and brightened my mood, just a bit.
Tomorrow is Baby Girls 13th birthday. YAY! We will celebrate the day with a small family gathering after supper is over and have yummy birthday cake. Before people get here her Dad and I will present her with a gift...her very first piece of REAL jewelry, a "simple elegance" style pink sapphire ring set in white gold.

I think she will like it and if she doesn't the jewelry store told me she could exchange it for something different. It was a toss up for us between two different styles and this is the one we chose.

This is also the weekend of her big PARTY! We have decided to have it whether it rains or not. The wether report says rain and wind for Saturday night but we will use canopies and enclose it with tarps of some kind...that's not my problem, it's hubby and his brother's. It's up to them to make it nice for Baby Girl and her friends. Everyone has asked me what they can get her for a gift and I can't tell them anything. She has her own blogsite and if you read the last entry you'll understand why I say that...http://kissen05.blogspot.com/ (go check it out). She says in that post that she wants nothing for birthdays or Christmases other than to spend quality time with family and friends. Yup! She's not your typical teenager. She has an enormous heart...she's also a big liar if she says gifts don't matter to her...they matter to us all! Still it's nice to know that those types of morals have been instilled into my babe's brain. Makes me feel like I'm actually doing something right as a parent. So, for the next two days I will be frantic trying to do the shopping for the food taht has to be cooked for the party...the canopy sides will have to be gotten from the grandparents and then in the pouring rain hubby and his brother will assemble the "Party Palace" so to speak. Baby Girl will figure out some way to decorate for her first teen boy/girl party. If the food stays dry and the stereo doesn't get ruined it will be a blessing and everything will be ok. Somehwere in between the cooking and shopping and "preparations" I have to go to work and get that out of the way so the rest of the weekend is freed up. Will I lose my mind before then? OF COURSE! That's just the type of person I am.

So, how did she become a teenager so quickly? Next will be the start of High School and then her drivers license then her first TRUE love then graduation then on to college (hopefully)...It all goes so quickly and I can only wish for a way to slow down time.

I may not have time to post for a while...After all, I will be a very busy lady for the next few days...But I won't forget you all and I will be back...consider yourselves warned! LOL Smile Peeps! I luv each and every one of you!

What's Up With This?

2005-10-10T17:48:00.000-05:00

Life can be going along pretty well and then BAM!, it hits you like a ton of bricks...DEPRESSION! I know you can all relate. I think it was Mel and Scotty that blogged about this recently. It catches you off guard and topples your world. You wonder if it will ever get anybetter. That's the situation I'm in right now, and I really don't know why...Maybe you all can help me figure it out...
It started a few days ago...I haven't been sleeping well (although I HAVE been gettting a few hours a night) and at first I thought it was just that that was causing me to feel not quite myself. But as it went on for a couple more days I started to assess why I might be feeling this way and I was doubting that lack of sleep was the issue.
Maybe it's the lack of confidence I'm feeling about the new possible coaching position that I could be holding in my hands within a month.
Maybe it's that my face is once again covered with sore spots that no amount of over the counter meds is helping.
Maybe it's that Baby Girl is shutting me out of her life once again. Maybe it's dealing with mom's health issues getting to me.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm trying to make my daughters birthday really nice for her and it's not working out.
Maybe it's the fact that no matter how hard hubby tries to make ends meet, it's just never enough.
Maybe it's the soaking rains that we've been getting and the lack of sunshine I am craving so deeply.
Maybe it's this damned headache that I wake up with every morning.
Maybe it's the problem with my teeth that I'm having and because they don't feel right, I don't feel right.
Maybe it's my neglect for my health and there is some underlying problem that is making me feel this way...
It really doesn't matter what the reason, I'M DEPRESSED! And I HATE it!

So, how am I going to pull myself out of it? Getting Blasted Drunk might help! But then I would have to wake up with a hangover the next morning and that wouldn't be much fun at all. What bothers me the most about this is I'm not the type of person that wallows in self pity. And here I am wallowing. What is going on with me?
I could send myslef a bunch of flowers...
I could eat all the chocolate in the house and then send honey out for more...

Maybe a bubble bath with lighted candles and thoughts of a secluded tropical island somewhere...

The chocolate is doable, as is the bubble bath with candles. I think I just might go try it...

I'll post again soon and I truly hope that the mood will be a better one...Later Peeps!

Topics Again! AND I'M BORED!!!

2005-10-04T19:16:00.000-05:00

Oh What to post about? That is getting to be the big question around here...a ton of stuff on my mine but can't really sort it all out enough to post about it. I guess I'll do another "Topics" post...here we go...

Topic #1...Baby Girl! This is always my primary topic it seems. She is having a better week than in the weeks past. Things have calmed down a bit with the boy situation and her feeling like the ugly dickling. She is burying herself in her schoolwork and hanging out with her girlfriends. Her mind is heavy on her birthday coming up and still hoping for a party. Of course we will do the cake and ice cream thing with the family on her actual birthday on Thursday, and I hope that we don't have to disappoint her by not giving her a party on the weekend for some reason. The only reason we'd HAVE to cancel would be the weather so we are keeping our fingers crossed. I'm excited about giving her her first piece of "bling" and I hope she likes it. The communication part is still messed up between her and us. Dad and I tried talking to her this weekend about various things and she is still being a big clam. It's the age, I know htat, and eventually she will open up more. Until then I am just going to observe from a distance and talk only when she comes to us first. I'm sure all her problems are minor, and normal problems for eighth graders. Everyone around here is telling me it gets a lot better once the girls hit high school so I'm looking forward to next year.

Topic #2...Hubby!... in my last post I talked about an unexpected attraction. Well, although the attraction is still there I feel it's a normal thing and nothing will ever come of it. I have since been hot for hubby again (not that it ever left) and it feels so right. We spent the morning today doing some deep cleaning in the house and we didn't argue or get all huffy about anything and it felt real nice to have him help out without bitching about it. He even did all the windows for me and that is a major help to me. He has been busy making knives again and is working on a special one for my uncles retirement.(this isn't one of his but it's very close to what he makes. Actually his are much better and done by hand from start to finish.) I am so proud of him when he puts his heart into something and he certainly puts his heart into his knife making. It's just too bad that he can't market them and make a little money form it. He has a sale occasionally but up here in the "sticks" there isn't a lot of extra cash that people will spend on something like that. We've thought about EBAY but I am still fairly newbie to the computer and wouldn't even know where to begin. Anyway, my fears I was having about the unexpected attraction are gone and I know in my heart that I love my husband can't wait to show him how much when he gets home from work tonight. Yes, I'm being a little devilish!

Topic #3...The Dreaded Holidays are getting so close! How can I tell? Because as soon as Baby Girls birthday is out of the way I have to start spending WAY TOO MUCh money on gifts for approximately 25 people. It all gets so draining and time just goes by so fast between October and December. I am making a mental note to myself that this year WILL be different. I WILL enjoy the holidays. We have recently gotten closer with some much missed family members on both sides of the family and we are looking forward to celebrating with them. And of course we are ALWAYS excited about the good food that comes with the season. We are debating on where we shoudl be for the holidays, whether it be here or with hubby's family. It's a tough call this year. Hubby will be working long hours most of December and that means a family Christmas on his side is pretty much out of the question...he just isn't going to be able to get the time off. We wouldlike to do Thanksgiving at least with his family because of the December issue but that means we would miss the holidays with some very important people to us on my side. Auntie Deb and Uncle Brother and Dode and Tom will all be leaving for Florida in December so we were kind of looking forward to a turkey dinner here with them. It's such a hard decision because we are the type of people that don't want to disappoint anyone. Oh what to do? I still have time to think about it...I'm not going allow myself to fret about it now!

Topic #4...The change of seasons... I LOVE IT! Fall is my absolute favorite time of year! Yesterday I was outside and I heard the most glorious sound...GEESE! Flying South in V-formation. There was well over 100 of them in the flock and they sounded so beautiful. I stood there listening, breathing in the crisp air. Have you ever noticed the smell of fall? I think its the leaves that have already fallen to the ground and started to dry up. Soon we will be cuddling up with cocoa watching movies as a family...soon we will be raking leaves into huge piles, only to chase my daughter down and throw her into them. That might be different this year considering the fact that she's taller than I am now. We will enjoy a few more evenings in front of the chiminea and the evenings will be getting shorter and shorter. Life will slow down from the hussle of summertime and I am vowing to have this winter be one of relaxation and staying at home enjoying one another. Evenings playing cards and hearty homecooked meals will replace nights out until 10:00 and something quickly thrown on the grill for supper. Sweet Bliss for me!

Topic #5...Cheerleading! Yikes!...Time is getting closer for the basketball season to beging and I'm a nervous wreck! This will be my first year as cheering coach, SOLO, (I've already been told I'm a shoe in) and my mind is full to the top with thoughts of being a total failure at it. I am frantically trying to convince my good friend and former cheering coach from last year to split the stipend and co-coach with me. I don't know what I'm freaking out about...I have the knowledge to do this job and although my stunting skills aren't that great, I know, just like anything I do I'll put my heart and soul into it and everything will be fine. It still doesn't make me any less nervous knowing that though. If I can ever find the cd, I'll post some pics of our squad from last year and you can see how great they are. It's one of Baby Girls passions and although I'll be a total wreck the entire season, I'll do it for her. At least this time there is a stipend to look forward to. What will I do with all that cash? Yeah Right!

Topic #6...A heartfelt THANK YOU!!! I want to end this post thanking Sheri for putting in the time to give my blog a new look. And now she is working of Baby Girls for me too. What an awesome person you are Sheri! Now when I click on my site it's all bright and happy...it's a nice way to wake up every morning! I also want to thank Mel for listening to all my ramblings. I really feel I've found a true friend in you and I cherish you! And one more thank you to my dearest Scotty...for making me laugh...for giving me some interesting reads...for keeping it real...and for just being you! Wish I actually knew you other than on blogger! You three make my days a little brighter! Luvs to all!

Past Catching Up With Present...Thinking About The Future!

2005-10-02T15:47:00.000-05:00

Recently a good friend of mine posted about her love for her husband and it inspired me to post about mine too. I intended on coming here and telling you all that my love for my own husband has never been stronger and that I am looking forward to the rest of my life with him. We have been through so many ups and downs over the past twenty one years and we always found our way back to the place we are at now no matter what our issues were. Well, recently something has happened to make it so I question this whole post. Before you all gasp and think I'm shallow and undeserving of my husband, nothing at all has happened that might jeapordize my marriage...but something has happened that made me stop and think and I'd like to share it with you.
In the past couple of years I have been very involved with our town recreation group and it has given me the opportunity to get reacquainted with people from my past. I have reconnected with many of my former classmates and I've enjoyed that so much, just as any of you would. At the start of this fall football season, a couple of friends from the rec committee approached me to see if I would be willing to help out with concessions because they couldn't get commitments from many of the kids parents so I told them I'd help. My daughter is helping to coach one of the cheerleading squads so I have to be at the games anyway so I didn't think it was a big deal...and I actually enjoy doing it. The guy in charge of the football season is also an old flame. It is a very old flame, we went out for about two months back in high school. And I am ashamed to say that he is a much younger guy. When we dated I was a senior and he was a freshman. I think that's why it didn't work out between us. Well, working closely with him again this fall has made me realize that if my husband weren't in the picture there would be an attraction there that might not be able to be stopped. As with any situation of this kind there is always some kind of harmless flirting that goes on, all of you know that. I bet at your own work places there is a certain amount of flirting. So over the past month or so there has been harmless flirting taking place between this guy and me. Hubby is usually around and we have even flirted right in front of hubby, and hubby goes right along with it telling the guy to take me any time he wants me. It's all in fun! Until today and I looked at the guy differently. I caught myself many times checking out the guys butt and wondering what it would have been like if it would have worked out all those years ago. This hasn't been a one sided flirting here, the guy is the one that starts the flirting every time we are together. And when I say flirting, it's rather innocent...we talk or comment on something that happened in the past, or like today we talked about how I'd never let my own daughter chase a boy three or four years younger than her, and he piped right up and said that it didn't stop me from liking him so there was a double standard in the way I'm raising her. It's all like that kind of stuff every game day. I can honestly say that this guy is still as hot looking to me now as he was over 20 years ago. His personality is terrific and I find myself looking forward to our next conversation. Now, as far as the way I feel about my husband, I have never loved him more. We are falling in love all over again and I still fully intend to stay with him forever. At the same time I just can't seem to ignore this old attraction to my former crush. I know that even in the best of marriages, it's normal to be attracted to someone else. It's all a part of life. That doesn't mean that you act on those attractions...and I have absolutely no intention of acting. Still, it makes my heart heavy to know that I have an attraction to someone other than my own husband. I feel like I'm not being faithful...I feel like because there is an attraction I should be questioning how I feel about my husband...I feel like I'm doing something wrong, even though I know I'm not. Is it ok to have this kind of attraction? Does it mean my marriage is in trouble? And what does this mean for the future? Will we be able to hold this love together after the child is out of the house and we are alone together again? Or will I want to act on attractions such as this one? If I had to answer my own questions, I have to say that I do think this type of attraction is normal and that almost every woman (and Man for that matter) experiences them once in a while. It doesn't mean my marriage is in trouble because of it...hey, I can go and look at this really hot guy and then come home to hubby and maybe it will enhance sex even more than it already is. The future is what it will be...nobody can determine what might happen down the road. And I honestly don't think I'd EVER act on this type of attraction, it's not like I'm crushing on this guy again, I just think he's nice and hot and interesting! I'd like to know if any of you have felt this way before. And if you have, did you feel like a bad person for it? Life can change at any given moment and none of us know what the future holds...all we can do is go through life one day at a time and try to be honest with ourselves and be happy. I hope you enjoyed this post, it really helped me to figure out my own feelings. I guess that's what blogging is all about!

I know I've posted often lately, I still would love comments to other posts I've written recently, like the one before this with my daughter's problems, and the one before that, the seven questions thing, it's kind of fun! So dont' forget to go read those ones again also, and comment to your hearts content! Love to you all...

How To Talk To Your Teenager!

2005-10-01T19:08:00.000-05:00

This has been a difficult week for me with my daughter. I am having trouble with the communication part of parenting.

My darling Baby Girl is still having some problems with the social aspect of 8th grade. Acedemically she's doing wonderfully...Loves the new French class that they added to the curricculum this year and she is holding an average in the high 90's for most of her classes. As a parent I should be glowing with pride at her accomplishments. Instead I'm filled with worry about her social life. Now, I say that lightly! After all, in 8th grade I am not even sure you can call it their "social life". She has many friends, both girls and boys and alike, and she cherishes those friendships. Maybe this is where the problems begin. Let me take you back a few weeks...

I had posted earlier about baby girl and her interest in "the new boy" in school. She had a crush as did half of the girls in the school. The boy had a girlfriend already so Baby Girl kind of admired him from afar, all the time wishing that he'd dump his girlfriend and ask her out. Well, that plan backfired for my daughter. The boy dumped the girlfriend and went out with a girl my daughter feels is more popular than she is. This made my daughter have feelings she didn't understand. She was partly angry and partly jealous. I personally think it was more jealousy than anything. Well, that romance lasted all of a week and then the boy asked one of Baby Girls best friends to go out with him and the friend said yes, not giving my daughters feelings a second thought. This is sort of where my problem with communication comes in...I've been trying to talk with her about how she shouldn't be so concerned with her friends getting angry with her for going out with a boy. There are several boys that she's interested in that other friends have gone out with before and she refuses to give these boys a chance for fear of hurting her girlfriends feelings. These girls certainly don't give my daughters feelings a second thought. I've tried talking with her about not waiting for that perfect boy...she has the hots for two boys in particular that don't feel the way she does for them. She's just holding out hoping that one of these boys will all of a sudden change their minds and start having feelings for her. The boys that do like her won't ask her out because they know she's going to say no to them.

When did it become so difficult talking to my baby? We used to talk about everything and for some reason she won't hear what I have to say about this boy issue. She won't listen to Dad either. He's seen the same things I have and his opinion is about the same as mine and when he talks to her about it she changes subject quickly. I have sat back lately watching and waiting for her to come to us, but she just won't open up about this stuff. We see the hurt on her face when all of her friends around her are in realtionships with boys and she's the only "single" in the group. We see how she feels out of place, like the third wheel, when hanging out with her friends and their boyfriends. We just can't seem to figure out how to help her through it.

I told her today that I wanted to set aside some mother/daughter time to talk about some things this weekend. I want her to know that it's ok to be single as long as that's what she really wants. I want to tell her to start living for herself and not for what her friends want. And I don't even know where to begin. When did I lose knowing how to talk to my own baby? Since she has friends over tonight ( yes, the two that are here are girlfriend/boyfriend) I will have to find time for that talk tomorrow. I only hope I can find the words and don't screw her up anymore than she already is. Wish me luck...that is IF I don't chicken out! Maybe I should make a wish in hopes of saying all the right things!

Only Seven!

2005-09-27T07:24:00.001-05:00

I found these in a magazine and thought it would be interesting to see how people answered them...it was originally an interview with Rod Stewart but I think it will be a lot of fun...So, here is comes, don't spoil it! I'll start it off by answering them myself...

1.) WHO IS YOUR HERO? Although I have many people that I look up to, I must say that my hero is a girl not many of you even know. I won't mention names because I don't want to embarass her...She has been a friend for quite some time now and she's my hero because she goes through life with confidence, is well spoken, has a caring heart, and people look up to her. I only wish I had a few of her traits in myself!

2.) WHAT TALENT DO YOU WISH YOU HAD? Actually, I have many talents already that some people don't know about. I'm pretty good at sketching, I can crochet like crazy, I know how to quilt, I'm an excellent cook, my husband is very satisfied with my "sexual techniques" (I put that one in there for Mel since she seems to think I only post about sex) ... A talent that I wish I had is to be able to sing. Oh yes, I bellow out with almost every song on the radio, I just wish I could do it with a tune.

3.) WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY? It makes me extremely angry when people talk down to me. I am a firm believer that everyone on earth is created equal and I hate it when someone talks as if they are better than God. Those people are fake and really need to be knocked off thier high horse.

4.) WHOM DO YOU TRUST THE MOST? This is a tough one for me. Those of you who know me for real know that because of past experinces I am a very untrusting person. I trust nobody! I am not proud of this answer but it's the answer I have to give because it's the truth. I have let my heart ride on my sleeve with too many people that have crushed my soul more times than once and it wouldn't surprise me if every person in my life did it to me at some point. Maybe all my blogger friends out there could help me learn to trust again.

5.) WHAT WOULD PEOPLE BE SURPRISED TO KNOW ABOUT YOU? Gee, I thought it would be easy to answer these but it's proving to be tough... That I have no confidence. I put my heart and soul into everything that I do and I usually end up doing whatever it is very well, but I always start a new venture with extreme fear and it's takes everything I have to get moving on it. I'll wake up the morning of the big event and make myself sick with worry over it. I tend to hang back and not start new things because of this overwhelming feeling. I always feel that there is someone out ther that could do it better than me.

6.) WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT? There are many answers to this one...First the obvious, My Daughter, My Husband (although to hear me talk about him you'd think differenly), animals in my life and of course CHOCOLATE! For the not so obvious...Music!

7.) WHAT IS THE SMARTEST THING YOU"VE EVER DONE? After a six month seperation I got back together with my husband. In that time we both grew a lot and came to realize how much we mean to each other. We may still drive each other absolutely biserk at times but I do love him with all my heart! Today anyway!

Have fun answering and I look forward to reading what you all have to say.

Just Another Day!

2005-09-23T06:18:00.000-05:00

~So the day is starting out pretty good. I'm not quite as sore from the tree thing as I was yesterday, and that surprises me since I helped to split and haul the left over wood from the damned thing that could be sold as firewood all day yesterday. I am so glad that it's over.
Hubby is back to work and working long hours this week so it will be a week of staying home and taking it easy, something Baby Girl and I haven't done in a long time. Maybe some movies on tv or something like that in the works? I ready for a good Girls Night with her! Painting toes and doing facials and just bonding. She has become so distant lately and I hate it. I know it's all part of the age that she is but I still miss the talks and the comraderie that we once shared. Parents keep telling me that she'll be like this for a while and then when she is in about tenth grade she'll start opening her heart to me again. We'll see! The boy thing with her is still on hold I guess. We did talk briefly last night about one boy in particular and I think if the boy made a play for her she'd say yes to him. It would definitely put a good friendship with her best bud in jeapordy but I really think she need to take that risk. She can't spend her time trying to be careful of hurting someone else...if the shoe were on the other foot I'm sure the other girls wouldn't think twice about hurting Baby Girl. Been there and done that too many times already. She needs to toughen up a little. My first volunteering gig is on for today at the school. It's an easy one though...just cooking at a cookout for the summer readers that belong to MSBA (Maine Student Book Award). I've decided to wean myself off the school environment this year. PTF can go to Hell and I'll pull back and be just a parent volunteer just like the rest of them. I'm already lined up for the two book fairs that we do but that isn't for PTF so I don't mind doing it. Hubby will be hunting during one of them anyway so it'll give me something to do. Baby Girls Party is still on hold so those of you who think it's set in stone taht it will take place might just have to wait til another time to hear about it. Obstacles! And I didn't realize just how many. We talked about it after school yesterday and she even started putting together a list. Most of the kids on the list will be at the game on that Firday night and a good chunk of them will be at the Cross Country Invitational that Saturday. Then if you factor in weather...Back to the "Wait and See" game I guess. I think that's all I can do. We'll wait and see what the weather is going to be like and then we will talk about who can be here and who can't. I just don't want this to be a "little girls birthday party" type of party. She needs to have one more geared to her age. That's a ways off still so we'll be making some decisions in the coming weeks. I hate planning ahead because those plans always seem to backfire! I did mention just taking a girls shopping trip with a couple of her friends to the new Kohl's instead an she is open to that idea also. It will all fall into place I'm sure. POSITIVE THINKING! I really need to get back to that. So, I guess it's off to Walmart for me this fine cloudy drizzly morning...then to the school to cook in the same drizzle...oh what fun! I may not post this weekend...writers block seems to be everywhere these days. Good weekends to you all and LUVS!

~ You know, if I could get the people I email to read my posts then I wouldn't have to send out all those Emails!

Topics On My MInd!

2005-09-22T06:16:00.000-05:00

Topic #1...Hubby!
Darling Hubby has had some dumb ideas lately and yesterday wasn't any exception. The day started off pretty good...we got the baby girl off to school and the plan was to just have a relaxing day, maybe take a nap, maybe have some fun in the sheets. Well, those plans didn't last that long. As we were sitting together in the warm morning sun my dearest husband decided to cut down this big ass frigen tree that we've been wanting to take down for a couple of years. My choice would have been to hire it done but Hubby thought it would be too much moolah so we went at it by ourselves. Up on the roof we go to assess the situation. It didn't look too hard once we were up there. And withing about an hour and a half we had two of the main limbs off that were hanging over the roof. Now, those of you who know me know that I'm not a very big person, but when it comes to working, I am one of the hardest workers out there. And no job scares me...in fact I feel that carpentry or woods work would be perfect for me. I love to get in there and get my hands dirty and work those old muscles of mine. Well, I butched up yesterday and made Hubby proud of me. I did the work of ten men and my fucking muscles are hating me this morning let me tell you. The job that started at 9:00 am ended at 5:30 pm. The tree is down and all the brush from it has been taken to the incinerator. All that remains is a pile of about a cord or wood that needs to be split with a splitting maul today and loaded into the truck to sell as firewood. AND GUESS WHO WILL BE DOING THAT JOB TODAY? YUP, LITTLE OLE' ME!

Topic #2...Baby Girl's Party
Baby Girl is really looking forward to a party for her birthday but I just can't see it happening. the more talks we have about it the more obstacles that seem to be interfering. We had chose the 14th as the date until we realized that there was a high school football game that night...so we changed our minds to Saturday the 15th. There are things going on that night too but I guess we are going to shoot for it. So, all you bloggers out there that tried to talk me into letting her have this damned thing have won! Weather permitting Baby Girl will have her 13th birthday party. I say weather permitting because there is no way in hell 20 kids will fit in my little tiny house. (remember that I live in a 14x74 Mobile Home) She can have it outside in the driveway and on the deck and it will be just so much fun! Yes I'm saying that with sarcasm. I'll keep you all posted on this one.

Topic #3...It's Apple Time!
I'm looking forward to heading to the apple orchard this weekend to pick apples with Baby Girl. We've done this every year since she was about two and nothing is as good as a shiny red apple off the tree...except for sex of course! We will go out and pick about three varieties and then come home and make applesauce and pies and an apple crisp. I love the wagon ride out and in a couple of weeks the leaves will have started to change and we'll go back out to do the same thing all over again. Fall is my favorite time of year and I love anything that keeps me outside in the crisp air. The only thing that bothers me about Fall is the fact that we all really have to start thinking about that dreaded holiday shit! You know, I used to LOVE Christmas but now it's just a big pain the fucking ass. I don't want to think about that now though...it's too good of a day!

Topic #4...Blogger Buddies!
I've developed a couple of blogger buddies out there that have my heart very heavy. One is on the verge of making a life altering decision and that scares me...the other has been in and out of some kind of depression. I don't like to see people hurting and I spend my days wondering if my two buddies are having good days or bad days. I can't hardly wait until they post for the day, just so I can see how they are doing. Blogger is great place for this...it's a place where we can all go and let it all out there and since we don't know and will probably never meet most of these people we can tell them whats truly inside us, without the worry of them passing judgement. We have talked about things with our blogger buddies that we normally wouldn't talk to our best friends about...let's see, just some of the topics we've touched on lately are Fights with our significant others... children and all their problems (the problems that become ours)... Divorce... Affairs... Beatings... Molestations... Homosexuality... and the list goes on and on. Now, I'm a pretty open person. there is nothing in my life that I feel is so sacred that it can never be spoken about. I don't care if people know my sexual preferences, my bank account balance, my relationship with my wonderful hubby, They can know anything they want to about me...I'm not that private of a person. But I can still talk more freely on Blogger and for this I'm thankful. To my Blogger Buds out there that are going through some tougher times, my heart is always there with you and I hope life turnsa round for you soon.

Topic #5...MOM!
Some of you may remember that my mother hasn't been in the greatest of health these days. Nothing life threatening but something very painful and I'm watching her go through it every single day. She has Vasculits on her legs and a few short weeks ago she almost lost a foot to it. She has sores on her legs that looks like that flesh eating bacteria shit and the wounds are extremely painful. She has to endure an hour of Dad scraping and peeling away the dead stuff every morning and most days the process puts her to tears. She hasn't had a shower for aobut three months...NOW THINK ABOUT THAT! How would you all feel if you couldn't take a shower for that length of time? It must be awful. Oh, she's clean...she takes about three sponge baths a day just to try to make herself clean. There just isn't anything quite like the feel of water running over you as you stand in a hot shower though. She is being treated with Meds that are zapping her energy and she so shaky most days that she can't even hold her dinner frok with dropping it a hundred times. The wound care nurse says it will probably be March or April before she's healed, if she's lucky. Winter isn't even here yet and already it's going to be along one I can tell.

So all my Blogger Pals...this is just today. Tomorrow there will be more topics on my mind and it's good to know you are all there for me if the need arises. I look forward to reading some new posts from you all very soon. Luvs to you all!

Summing Up The Weekend!

2005-09-19T19:48:00.000-05:00

So things have calmed down here on the homefront for the most part. The weekend was somewhat uneventful.

~Baby Girl has calmed down a bit on the "guy" issues. She is applying herself to her studies nicely and now trying to get her dad and I to let her have a party for her birthday next month...I opened my mouth and probably shouldn't have! She would like to have a boy girl party outside in the recently paved driveway. I suppose it wouldn't be too awful to allow. Things have happen here in this frigen town that scare me on the idea of a party though...I suppose I should elaborate for you...

~A friend of ours allowed her teenager to have a birthday party at the beginning of the summer. It was boy girl and a lot of the kids in town went to it...NOT my baby girl though. At this party the mom of the girl got plastered and the Dad got pissed off about some things and left so the kids weren't very "supervised". They took the opportunity to be little thieves and swipe some booze from the drunken mom's fridge. Mom at this point is down the road in the ball field screwing some other guy (not her hubby) but that's another story entirely. Anyway, the kids, not all of them but probably about ten of them, got drunk and the mom tried to cover for them. When these kids parents found out about the evening's "activities" they were LIVID, and rightly so. Thank the Lord my baby girl wasn't there! The kids parents decided that the details as they unraveled were just too much so they are suing her and she got arrested for "supplying" to minors because a few of the kids that were drunk accused the mom of giving them the liquor. Well, the whole thing is a big mess and I won't get into it but you all get the drift...

~So this brings me back to Baby Girls party. Some of these kids that were at the party from the summer will most likely be invited to her party and I'm concerned of what "substances" will be brought without Hubby and I knowing. I WILL handlethings a bit differently than the drunken Mom from the summer. I will NOT drink while children are present and I will confiscate any substances that get brought to my home. If any show up high or have been drinking then their parents will be called immediately! We all learn from other's mistakes! So, we have a little less than a month, (october 13th) to decide if we will allow it, but this is ALL that Baby Girl is thinking about so I'm happy that there isn't some huge Drama like I've been dealing with for the past few weeks.

~Hubby and I got into an argument this weekend, and most of you wouldn't think this was any big deal, but hubby and I hardly ever fight anymore so I really didn't know how to deal with it. It was all really no big deal and we are fine now but it has made me appreciate our relationship and how far we have come. It happened Saturday and he was basically a twit the entire day. We had gone shopping (something he wanted to do) and all he did the whole time was crap about the traffic and crab about the rain and he was just not dealing well with the rush I guess. We got home and while out shoping we had decided on a Baked Chicken Dinner that night so I came home from the trip and started the cooking process. Chicken in the oven, Veggies chopped and in their cooking pots...HE decides to just get up and announce he's heading to the county fair with my Dad to watch the Truck Pulls. Now normally I wouldn't have minded, and I really didn't care that he went that night, BUT He was very inconsiderate to me and I stewed about it the whole evening. The dinner that was planned was altered and we did have a chicken (i had bought two rotisseries) and my mother came over and there were a few kids here with us, but it was chicken with all the fixings, it was more like chicken and whatever I could throw on quick. Hubby was gone most of the evening and when he came home he was carrying bags of cotton candy to sweeten me up before I blew my top. Didn't work for him though! We argued (and the kids that were still out on the deck heard us, which we NEVER allow to happen) and went to bed mad. But in the morning I was over it and things were fine between beloved and me. This was a first and caught me off gaurd! Usually when we used to fight it would last for days because I hold a HUGE grudge over people for a very LONG time. This one was short and sweet and I am proud of the fact that we handled it much better than we have in the past.

~Sunday was spent at football games while baby girl and friend helped out with the flag cheerleaders (little tykes) and I worked the concession stand. It was an ok day, a little on the boring side. When we got home I made it a point to have that Baked Chicken Dinner with all the fixings and Hubby spent the day kissing my toes (No Sucking invovled Dear Scotty! Except for sucking up) and I kinda liked it. He was sweet as pie and did anything I asked him. This continued on to today (Monday).

~ Today Hubby and I worked on a minor home improvement project together that took us the better part of the morning and I've come to the conclusion that I will NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER build a home with my dear husband.

Life seems to be good for the moment and I hope it lasts...but I am mature enough to know it won't! One can dream...Luv to you all and I hope you are enjoying life too!

2005-09-17T19:11:00.000-05:00

Ok, So my weekend isn't going as planned. It started last night when I had plans to go to work and then come home and enjoy a good movie on the couch with my hubby. Hubby called before he left work with different ideas. He told me he had already told a friend that he'd help him work on putting the siding on his house. This was ok with me...although I didn't want to spend the night

A Solution! Worth Checking Out!

2005-09-14T07:51:00.000-05:00

Not much to post today but I do have a bit of information I'd like to share with all of you...

Many of us use countless amounts of hair products that end up building up on our hair and weighing it down. If you are like me, fine straight hair, you'll appreciate what I have for info...

I have always used Hair Gel...tried many different kinds, some were ok, others would just make my hair heavier and plastered to my head. So, a couple of weeks ago I read in a magazine that a product that many of us have right in our homes would work well...It's Aloe Vera Gel! Yup that's right...the burn stuff! The stuff you use on your body after a day in the sun...the stuff you use when you "accidently" stick your arm on the side of the hot fry pan. And guess what? IT WORKS!!! I've been using it for about two weeks steady now and my hair seems healthier and I'm saving a ton of money on those high priced gels I get at the salon. Now I'm not saying anything bad aobut salon hair gels and products...some of them are great! But with the world the way it is today, High Gas Prices, Heating Oil Skyrocketing, Groceries costing more and more every week, it's nice to know that there is a low cost alternative out there at least for hair products. Trust me on this one people! I love it! It gives me the hold I need and doesn't weigh my hair down. I'm not saying it will work wonders for you...I just want you to give it a try. What do you have to lose? Let me know the outcomes of it...I'm very interested!

The Study Of Young Love!

2005-09-13T07:06:00.000-05:00

It seems that this school year is all about first loves. I remember my first love...he was the cutest boy in school, (well, to me he was) and I would sit outside watching him and his buddies play touch football at lunch break (this is back when they still allowed kids to have "recess"). He even had a really kewl name, Spade! I pined over him for my entire seventh grade year and he never even glanced my way. It hurt me to know that he didnt' feel the same about me, gosh I don't even think I even said more than a qucik hello to him and I was so embarassed by that it's no wonder he never glanced my way. That year came and went and by the time eighth grade was upon me I was over him. Eighth grade was alittle different...I still was a little shy but boys seemed to flock to me for no reason. I had my choice of who I wanted to go out with. And I went out with a few. Nothing very serious, just innocent little "flings". The big thing to do at the time was to go Roller Skating on Friday and Saturday nights and I was smittem with more than a few boys I'd meet there...let's see, there was Chris, and Bobby, and Rudd, and Mike, and the list could be added to if I really wanted to but I'll stop there. It was always love at first sight and we'd "go out" for about two weeks then we'd both move on to someone new, no hard feelings and still great friends. By the end of eighth grade I had had my first "serious" , and I use the term loosely since serious back then meant we might have stolen a few kisses on the dance floor at the school dance or sat really close to each other while we hung out after football practice. Rudd used to serenade me with his Clarinet on the phone every night and I was Gah-Gah over him. It lasted about a month, maybe two, and then we went on our merry way to find the next true love.
Times have changed since then for kids and I'm seeing it first hand with my daughter and all her friends. Let's see...there's Erika, who went out with a boy for 1 year 7 months 2 days and 8 hours (yes she kept track!). They broke up recently and hate each other now...well, hate is a strong word, I would prefer saying they really don't want to be around each other at the moment. They had progressed to hand holding, cuddling and many many stolen kisses. At 12 and 13 years old I'm ok with this but a relationship lasting for that long at that age doesn't fly in my book. Now that boy likes my daughter but won't ask her out because he doesn't want to cause problems with her and her Erika. Daughter feels the same way.
Then there's Patrick! Patrick is a boy who is very "feminine" acting. He gets teased all the time at school because the kids think he's gay but he really isn't. He has always been babied by his mom and she's always said "He's my girl!" because he didn't like tinkering on cars with his dad or playing rough sports and he didn't like the idea of killing anything. When a boy actually has a soft spot in his heart for things like this he get's "labeled" in this neck of the woods. Patrick befriends the girls very easily and he likes many of them, but because of what the other kids say none of them really ever thinks of him as Boyfriend Material. Until NOW! He has been best friends with a girl for a few years now and over the past few months has come to realize he likes her for way more than just a friend. I have observed them together and I know she feels the same about him. They are both shy and quiet so this realtionship has progressed slowly. Last night however she finally gave him an answer to a question he asked her a week ago and they are now GF/BF. Different than the other couples in school though...I don't think you'll be seeing them all cuddly and kissy for quite some time, if ever. Still, it's sweet love!
You also have the girls in school that dress the part...mini skirts so their undies (mostly thongs) show just a little and tight shirts cut down to there. They throw themselves at the cute jock type boys and make it know that they would be willing to do more than cuddle. I don't like this type of behavior in our young girls. But I'm only one parent and many of the others think it's acceptable. The boys, the cute ones anyway, naturally give more attention to this type of girl. Boys of today are labeled as strange if they haven't felt up a girl by the time he enters high school. So these boys in my opinion "use" these girls that flaunt their stuff for them just to put a notch on their belt and earn the standard of "kewl".
Then you have girls like my daughter. She is a good student and likes many boys. She dresses, what I call "conservatively sexy". She wears the hot styles but covers herself so she can hold on to her dignity. Make-up is always put on just so...not too dark and not un-noticeable. (is that a word?) She is a pretty girl, not the best looking in the school but pretty enough so some of the boys take notice. The problem here is that the wrong boys take notice. She never gets the boy she really likes to notice her for anything more than a friend. Or maybe it's because the boy she likes already has a girlfriend. I know in time the right boy will take notice and she will experience her first true love just as I did. She'll get her first kiss and learn about snuggling and I'll be watching it all, mortified that it's even happening. She won't let herself like some of the boys her friends have gone out with because she is afraid of losing a friendship over it. I suppose this is one of my daughters good qualities. I just don't want her missing out on what could be something special for her. Her time will come!
Young Love has changed since I was in school. Fights between girls and boys happen more often because of invading ones "territory". Grudges are held way too long over stupid things. When I was in 8th grade I can't ever remember getting uspet over a friend liking a boy I may have liked before. I can't even remember fighting over a guy in high school...well, there was one incident but it wasn't me that was upset and it was all a misunderstanding...maybe I'll post about it someday! It's a sweet time in our children's lives and one that just may cause the death of us parents. Still it's young love at it's best!

The Bugs Bunny Effect!

2005-09-08T19:29:00.000-05:00

I needed a change of pace from the normal posts of late...so I decided to write about something funny. Well, at least it was when it happened...I hope you get a chuckle out of it...

Recently I was having a conversation with a group of teens about what it was like when I was in High School. We talked of how the class curriculum had changed and how kids today are expected to grow up more quickly. We talked about what my school dances were like, when in every corner was a boy and girl making out and the teachers didn't seem to bother with them. I told them how the teachers room was always filled with cigarette smoke (not anymore thank God!) and we talked about how kids dressed. The latter made me think of my daughter and how she just baught her first pair of clogs. Now, I'm not talking the comfortable slipper-like Stegman Clogs...I'm talking about the ones with the high wooden heel. I told the kids a my "clog story".

I had a pair of clogs that I wore every day. I loved my clogs. They were easy to get on and off, while at my desk I used to kick them off and my feet were always comfortable, and being a shorter person, they made me much taller.
One day, I was walking down the hallway towards the stairs that led to the locker rooms which were in the basement. A boy, Bobby, and I were talking and when we came to the stairs, he was going up to the next floor and I was going down to the lockers. I was quite "smitten" with this boy! He was SO cute! I really wasn't paying attention to anything except his dreamy dark eyes and I was trying to turn on the charm by flirting, maybe a little too much. He was headed up the stairs and well, I guess I should have been paying more attention because the top of the stairs going down came upon me in a shot. One more step forward in my hard to walk in clogs and down the whole flight of stairs I went. This is where the bugs bunny effect comes in. You've seen the episodes where Wile E. Coyote would step off a cliff, not realizing he had done it, and there is a pause and he holds up a sign that says "bye!" and first his body goes down, stretching out his neck and then with a whistling sound his head follows. That is exactly what it felt like was happening to me. It was in slow motion almost. I fell down the whole flight of stairs, but never went onto my butt. I somehow managed to control my beloved clogs to keep me upright. I looked up, once I hit the bottom platform, and Bobby was up there peeking over the handrail, with a smile and giggle that made me melt. He asked if I was ok, and I assured him that I was fine. I was TOTALLY embarassed and I could feel the redness on my face. Now, I know in my heart if I had not been wearing those damned clogs, the whole incident would never have happened. Lets face it, you can all remember those clogs I'm talking about...they were easy on your feet UNTIL you tried to walk, then you looked like a fool trying to look all cool and sexy in them.

So, that's my funny little story. I told it to the teens and my daughter was embarassed just thinking about what her mom must have looked like when this happened. I hope she takes the story to heart and keeps her mind on her footing while wearing those clogs she bought and loves!
Oh, and if you are wondering what happened between Bobby and I, we became a couple the very next day. I guess you gotta love a girl who can compose herself with dignity in public!

A Fun Little Thing I Found!

2005-09-07T10:27:00.000-05:00

I think this could be a blast! Let's have some fun. I got this from Melodyann:

Ask me 3 questions. Any 3, no matter how personal, private or random.

I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.

In turn, you post this message in your own blog or journal and you have to answer the questions that are asked of you.

Ok.... GO!

Baby Girl!

2005-09-07T08:58:00.000-05:00

This is just an attempt at trying to link my daughters site. She doesn't have much in there but I'm encouraging her to use it more. Hope this brings you there. Her name is Kristen

Teenage Blues.....

2005-09-07T06:33:00.000-05:00

Last week my sweet baby girl started off her 8th grade year exactly how I thought she would...Problems Problems Problems! The first day was pretty uneventful. She loves her teachers and the new schedule they've adopted from the High School and enjoyed seeing all her friends that she's missed over the summer. That first day she came home in a good mood and was excited about the year that lay ahead of her. Remember, that was just the first day! The second day was a little different! Day two started out as normal. Off to school, a little sleepy because none of us are used to getting up that early, but ready for the day. By the time the second class rolled around the school went into a tailspin due to a Bomb Threat. The kids went off to the High School on buses to be safe. They had to sit in the bleachers there for 4 and a half hours. While there she chatted with friends and got caught up on all the latest gossip. She did some flirting with the new boy in school, but just innocent flirting. Her best friend decided it was the perfect time to start getting "cozy" with her new beau by leaning back between his legs while she sat one bleacher below him. (I remember days of doing that... the teachers would get mad at us for being so "close") Anyway, just before the last class of the day the kids were allowed to go back to the Junior High and resume the day. Other than that the day was uneventful...UNTIL! When she got home her whole world started to change. It wasn't that bad at first...Brett came by to hang out and she had some homework to get done. It wasn't until they got onto AOL that all hell broke loose. She recieved an IM from one of the high school girls that she had been chatting with the whole summer. She has known this girl for years so I allowed the chatting to go on thinking that they were good friends. The conversation went a little like this...

Girl: Hey
Baby Girl: Hi! How do you like the High School?
Girl: Oh, it's not too bad...So, I was told that you like Breken.

(Breken is the new boy in 8th grade this year and ALL the girls think he's a hottie!)

Baby Girl: Ya, why?
Girl: Well, He broke up with his GF from his other school to go out with me last year and then broke up with me to go back with her!
Baby Girl: So! He has the right to pic who he wants to go out with.
Girl: Well, I saw you in the Gym at teh High School today and I saw how you were flirting with him.
Baby Girl: We were just all hanging out and yes I might have been flirting with him a little...
Girl: Well, I think you need to BACK OFF and stop being such a flirt with him.
Baby Girl: Why should I. We like each other.
Girl: I heard you are becoming Quite the Slut!
Baby Girl: Who told you that?
Girl: Oh, I just heard it.

This is where the MOM (me) stepped in. I don't like the kids talking smack like this to each other and I was going to put a stop to it. I had been standing right behind my daughter and Brett the whole time so I knew exactly what the conversation was. I told Brett to move and let me in there. My temper was throguh the roof and I got online and told the girl that I had read the whole thing adn was very upset. Told her that I didn't approve of the way she was talking to my daughter and taht I'd be calling her parents. Well, more was siad but yu all get the poicture I'm sure. By the end of the conversation with her, Brett ws scared to death because he had never seen me get that upset and Baby Girl was in the chair in shock that someone would accuse her of being a Slut. For Goodness sake, she's never had a REAL BF and from what she's told me she's never held hands or kissed a boy so how can she be labeled a Slut? The conversation wen on for a bit with the girl and I just got to the point where I was going to blow a gasket so I got offline and told her her parents would be hearing from my husband and I. She was all apologetic to me and said taht she didn't mean it the way it sounded...that She wasn't calling Baby Girl a Slut, she had just heard it. Well, all you intelligent people out there knows damned well that all she was doing was trying to cover her own ass because she got caught. Later in the evening Hubby and I decided that we would call the girl and tell her that we won't tell her parents but there was a condition...She had to tell them. If she didn't we would have no choice but to tell them ourselves. About 20 minutes after getting off the phone with the girl, her parents called wanting to know what happened. All thier daughter told them was that something happened on the internet and something bad was said about my daughter and that she was invovled. She gave them nothing else to go on. My hubby and I told them the whole story and they were less than pleased with their kid and offered sincere apologies to us and Baby Girl. I didn't want to make this into anything bigger than it already was so I asked that it go no further than the few people involved and they asked the same of us. That was it! It thought the problem was resoved and that was that! At this point it's about bedtime and Baby Girl was unusually quiet and reserved. Off to bed she goes and when I went in to kiss her goodnight she was in tears. The whole thing had hurt her feelings and there was nothing I could do about it. She had to learn to deal with these things so I left her room telling her that the next day would be better. Which it was...she came home still quiet and reserved and told me nothing about her day but assured me she was fine.
The weekend went pretty uneventful...She had planned on hanging out with her best friend but Best Friend was grounded so Baby Girl just hung around the house all weekend. She didn't hear back from the girl that called her a slut and the weekend was rather boring and long.
Off to school on Tuesday! (Labor Day Weekend so that was the first day of the week) She came home with a smile on her face and said the day was pretty good. She didn't talk much about Breken (which surprises me because for two weeks now that's all she's talked about) and she really didn't talk to me about anything else. She mentioned that Best Friend had ran away from home Sunday night but got picked up by a neighbor half way to town and was taken back home. that's about it. She went off to help with the Flag Cheerleaders )a little side job she's picked up) and she wasn't gone ten minutes and Brett showed at the door. He feels comfortable with hubby and I so he stayed with me for a while, just hanging til Baby Girl got home. Him and I talked about some stuff...Enter Problem #2...He informed me that he really likes Baby Girl and would ask her to go out with im but he knows it would cause a ton of problems. Brett and Best Friend had been going out for almost two years until about three weeks ago so he knows it would be awkward if Baby Girl and He started dating because of how it would make Best Friend feel. He didn't want to cause problems for anyone so he's just hanging back for a while. Now, I didn't need to know this little bit of information. I CAN'T tell Baby Girl about it because then she'd feel all funny about htings so I have to keep it to myself. I really don't want to get involved with this anyway...I have always been the type of mom that lets the kids be kids and handle thier own business.(except for the Slut thing because that was my Baby's reputation at stake...I'm sure you will all agree with me) After Baby Girl got home, she and Brett hung out for a while and then he had to leave. It was all an ok time for her. She actually smiled a little, first time since the slut incident from the week before. After supper, Baby Girl went off to take a shower...Enter Problem#3...AND THIS IS THE REAL REASON FOR THIS POST!...Online comes her friend "Mars" (a nickname). She and I chatted for a while about dumb stuff, like "how was your day?" and stuff like that. She asked where Baby Girl was and I told her and she said "good, cause I need to talk to you about something."
Mars: You know Baby Girl likes Breken right?
Me: Yes, she talks about him a little.
Mars: Well, I have a problem because I like him too.
Me: What do you mean you like him too?
Mars: Well, I really like Breken and I want to go after him but I know Baby Girl likes him too and I am afraid she'll be mad at me.
Me: Mars, How would it make you feel if the roles were reversed?
Mars: Yeah, I'd be really angry at baby Girl because she liked the same guy I did.
Me: Well, what do you want me to do about it?
Mars: Do youthink I should tell Baby Girl about how I feel about him?
Me: I'm staying out of this one...You do what you have to do Mars.
Mars: I think I am going to tell her that I like him too.
Me: If that's what you have to do then fine, but I can't promise you that she won't be mad at you. You could be jeapordizing a good friendhsip here.
Mars: I know but I can't hide this from her.
Me: Whatever Mars, I'm not getting into it.
Mars: When she gets out of the shower put her on.

And that's exactly what I did. Baby Girl gets out of the shower and I told her Mars was on. I told her that she might tell her something and that I wanted to have a heart to heart with her about it after she was offline. You know, a little bonding so Mom knows how Baby Girl feels aobut the situation. Sure enough, as soon as she got online Mars told her to go read her info and try to figure out what she was trying to say. Then Mars got offline before baby Girl could respond. Baby Girl read the info and immediately figures out that Mars likes Breken also. At first Baby Girl was angry and then she got really quiet. I didn't try to keep the subject open and we both got offline and watched some TV. During one of the commercials, she started talking to me about it. Mom, why is it that when I finally find a boy that I really like all on my own, everyone else has to go after him too. Why do my friends do this to me? At this point she's ALMOST to the point of tears again. I told her that she just needs to be herself and don't throw herself at this boy. It's ok for her to let him know that she likes him but this boy can make up his own mind who he wants to go after and that she'll be better off just being herself. As far as the friends liking him too, well, if she's angry with them for it she should let them know. She doesn't have to be all mean about it...just let them know that it hurts her feelings that they are going after the same guy that they knew she liked first.
So, After this extremely long post, this is how 8th grade is going thus far. It Sucks! Just like I knew it would. My question for you all...How should I handle this with Baby Girl? Am I doing ok with the parenting bit? I'm not a stupid mom, I know very well that this is just typical and that most girls this age go through similar things. I know that a lot of it is all the hormones of these little mean bitches running rampant and that Baby Girl herself will feel these same things soon enough. I also know that I HAVE to be like I've always been and just let them be kids and watch them go through all this shit. Am I thinking right or am I losing it? I told a good friend recently that I knew 8th grade would be a Living Hell and that I'd never make it through it...I think I was right! I welcome any comments...good or bad. Have a Beautiful Day People...

Kids Say (and do) The Darndest Things...

2005-09-04T11:24:00.000-05:00

My Friday night was like any other Friday night...work then home and kid was bored. She asked me to take her to the high school football game, which I really didn't want to do. But being the great mom I am, I decided that it was better than sitting in front of the tube all night. She was so happy. We got there and baby girl went off with her friends immediately. I went up into the bleachers and sat alone...which I didn't mind as much as I thought I would. It was a nice night and I was comfortable so it wasn't all that bad. After a while a family, mom, Dad, and two young kids (each one having a friends with them) sat on the bleachers below me. I was at the top as to have something to rest my back against. the little girls went off to play but the little boys thought it would be more fun to climb to the top of the bleachers. Now, this doesn't sound like anyhting too exctiting to an adult or teenager, but to little boys about the age of 5, it's like climbing Mt. Everest. One of the little boys was very frightened and it took him almost the whole first half of the game to get brave enough to climb all the way up. The other little boy was much more daring. He was up to the top, where I was, in no time at all. I noticed he kept coming closer and closer to me but it didn't bother me much, I like kids most of the time. He came over after a few minutes and sat right beside me. He proceeded to tell me all about the game of football. He was giving me his play by play of the game and kept squirming from one side of me to the other. It was making me a little nervous because he wasn't very graceful. Sure enough he tripped and I caught him. Scared the shit out of me. Mom and Dad down below were trying to keep an eye on all the kids and caught his little trip out of the corner of their eye...they tahnked me for grabbing him and told him to come sit with them. He did but just for a little while. I could hear what he was telling his parents and he kept telling them that I was a really nice lady...

"mom, that lady up there is really nice...and she's really pretty too."

"you stay here and leave that nice lady alone so she can watch the game."

"oh, I don't think she minds...she's talking to me and we are becoming really good friends."

"why don't you go and play with your friend and sister."

The little boy had no intention of going off to play...he was too smitten by me.
He periodically came back to me through the course of the evening. He'd sit beside me and tell me all about stuff...

"Look, number 1 has the ball. They give it to him because he's the best player on the team. That's why he has the number one on his shirt."

"Oh is that so?"

"Yeah, when I get old enough to play I'm going to have that number. I am already better than all my friends."

"Oh really. You are that good are you?"

"You know, you are a nice lady. And you are really pretty too."

"well thank you."

"That's my friend coming up the bleachers. He's a scaredy cat because he's thinks it's too high up."

"Well, it is pretty high up here. You be careful ok."

Off he goes back to his mom and dad. He convinces dad that he's ready for some junk food. Off they go to the concession stand. Pretty soon they come back. At this point of the evening, Max, Simon, Patrick,Brett,n daughter, and a few other teenagers have joined me on the bleachers. When the little boy, his name is Luke by the way, I heard his parents call him by it, comes back and the older kids don[t bother him a bit. He pushes right past them on the bleachers just to come and sit beside me. He had some candy, a cowtale, and a stick of sour taffy. He also had a can of soda. While he was sitting beside me he was having some trouble getting his taffy open. The older kids keep laughing at him and his actions. My daughter is on the other side of me making friends with the other little boy, a new kid that just moved here from Queens New York. Max, a freshman, thought it was cute the way my little friend keeps getting closer and closer to me. I keep glancing down to see if the little boy has gotten into his taffy. His hands are completely green from it and sticky and he now has it torn into three or four smaller pieces.
I asked him if he needed some help with it. He said no. Then...ALL OF A SUDDEN...He turns to me and starts sticking his wet gooey taffy all over my bare arm. I just looked at him and as quickly as he did that he started licking my arm.

"what are you doing?'
"Nothing, just licking you" he says to me with a big green grin on his face.

I couldn't help it. I, along with Max and my daughter and a few of the other kids burst into laughter. We try to hide our chuckles from the little boy, not wanting to encourage him to do this again. Now, my arm is all sticky and gross and all I could do was just sit there and laugh. It was all so surreal.

The Dad finally turns to see what his little boy is up to.
"Luke, son, what are you doing up there?"
"Nothing Dad"
"Ah, you don't want to know what to know what he's been doing up here!" I said in a flash.

The dad decides it's time to come up and investigate. Sitting beside the little boy he asks him what he's been up to. The little boy replies "nothing"

"come on son, I know you've been doing something up here. Tell the truth."

"ok dad, I stuck the taffy on the lady's arm and licked it all off."

"luke, that's not a very nice things to do."

The little boy goes to sit by his mom who heard the whole thing and is mouthing to me her sincere apologies. The dad stays beside me and proceeds to tell me how his boy loves older women. (Older? Is that ME he's referring to? Am I OLD now?) He says apologies to me and goes back with his wife and kids. After taht the little boy didn't come back the rest of the 4 minutes left in the game.
The teenagers around me were laughing hysterically through the whole thing. I wonder if they would have been as grossed out as I was by it if it were happening to them?

Anyway, this is the way my Friday Night went. I can only hope that your's was as fun and eventful as mine was. I hope you found this funny and I hope it made your hearts all a little lighter. Til next time all...

7 Things MEME!

2005-09-01T09:49:00.000-05:00

7 Things Meme

I got this over at Scotty's and thought I'd give it a try. I don't know what I'll come up with about him but we'll see...Enjoy!

7 things you probably don't know about SCOTTY!
1. He is a sophisticated and sensual lover. Any of you gay men out there that haven't had him really should. I'm a straight white woman and I dream about him every night!
2. His idol is George Michael. He kinda has that look going on, although he's cuter than Georgie Boy ever could be. He secretly sings all Geaorges old songs in the shower.
3. He is a loving and devoted dad...ok, you already know this, but I take my hat off in praise to him for this. He keeps life real for them.
4. He wants to become a professional model in all those Gay Mags out there...and he'd be great at it. Just look at those eyes at his blog site. Makes even us straight women swoon over him. He'd be a giant hit!
5. Scotty is extremely devoted to his better half, but still enjoys a good romp with the hottie sitting at the bar making googoo eyes at him.
6. His goal in life is to have 100 more men in the six months. Practice makes perfect and he is almost perfect in every way.
7. And Scotty spends too much time with x-boxes and ps2's. I know this is easy to do with kids in the house. Gay Sim's for the x-box...hmmm...interesting.

7 things I have never done and may never do
1. Had plastic surgery of any kind. Of course I could use some but I'd rather be just who I am.
2. Flown in a plane. It scares the shit out of me...If I can't walk or drive there then I have no desire to go. I'm not a thrill seeker.
3. I've never desired a gay man. Well, up until now that is. I hope this doesn't offend him (I bet he knows who he is). And I know it would never happen for me and him.
4. Sucked a mans toes to try and turn him on. People, this is just gross and I've seen it happen in Porn movies and it's disgusting.
5. Met a movie or music star in person...but would love to shake the ahnd and have a conversation with Stevie Nicks.
6. Never had to diet. I am blessed to be naturally thin...although I am developing the ass of all my Aunt's and that scares me a little.
7. Taken dance lessons...and this is sad because dancing is a passion of mine and I've always wanted to take lessons...ballroom ones...Hey Scotty, move to Maine and take lessons with me. We'd be great!

7 things I did not do this weekend
1. Have Sex with my husband. Shit list a mile long here!
2. Exercise in any way.
3. Bond with my baby girl. She is pulling away from me more every day. I know you all can relate.
4. feel good about myself...it's just been one of those times where nothing makes me happy.
5. Tell my husband I loved him...maybe I should have and the weekend would have turned out better.
6. sit down and have a heart to heart with my mother, which is long overdue.
7. Spend even one penny on myself. I think a shopping spree is in the near future though.

7 times I have almost died or was seriously injured
1. When I had the flu about ten years ago. I was sick for over two months...couldn't even bathe or take a piss without my hubby carrying me to the bathroom. 82 pounds at the end of it and with all the reactions to the meds they were giving me it's a wonder I DIDN'T die.
2. Taking too many drugs in high school. Nothing too potent but enough so I wasn't sure where I was a lot of the time. Stupid on my part and I've sworn them off forever. I'm a way different person now.
3. Car crash with good friend Sue. How we survived it I have no idea. Both had concusions and couldn't turn our heads for two weeks.
4. When Dicky and I were fooling around on his horse and I fell off the other side, ok he dropped me off the other side of the damned thing, and I landed on my head. When you are young and stupid you don't think aobut breaking your neck as anything too serious.
5. When I went to Auburn with my parents and Dad decided to drive down the wrong side of the highway (the divider in the center of the road confused him) with a Big truck coming right for us. Just missed it!. Scared me so bad that a baby popped out the very next day.
6. Jumping from the top of my Aunt's deck into her swimming pool that was about three stories down. Stupid Stupid Kids! I hope my own doesn't do dumb stuff like that.
7. Riding anywhere with Allan. He has got to be the worst and most daring driver out there. I think he should join Joey Chitwoods Thrill Show.

I won't tag anyone with this...It's been way too hard. I thank Scotty for a little fun though.

Affairs of the Heart...How Scary!

2005-08-29T19:41:00.000-05:00

My almost 13 year old is starting 8th grade with a new crush. He is a new boy she met with one of her friends a few days ago, and it's ALL she's talked about! I don't think I've ever seen her fall this hard. All last year she had eyes for her dear sweet cutie pie Ben. Well, I haven't even heard her speak of Ben since meeting this new boy, Brecken. Brecken seems like a pretty good kid, but I've only seen him in a crowd, I haven't spoken to him. A good friend of my baby girl has been friends with Brecken for a while and has told her all about him. Today her friend was here and they went into her room and called Brecken and Logan, the friend, asked Brecken all sorts of questions..."What did you think of the short blonde girl?" and told him all about her saying stuff like "She's really cool." and "I've liked her for a long time but she doesn't like me that way" and stuff like that. It is clear that Logan is trying to be match maker. I'm ok with this but I do have fears. I fear that my baby will fall hard for this boy and this boy won't return the same feelings. I fear that her heart will be broken and she won't look at another boy. This sort of thing happened last year with Ben. Ben was always nice to her and they became good friends during the course of the year, but it was obvious that that was all he intended with her. He was well aware of how much Baby Girl liked him and kept just enough distance so he wouldn't have to deal with it. For this I'm grateful because it made it less painful for my daughter. With Brecken I'm not so sure. I honestly have NEVER seen her this excited about a boy. I know I sound like a fool, thinking like she would never have these feelings. I knew it was coming. I'm just not sure she's ready to handle it if he rejects her. She expected the rejection from Ben last year so it didn't bother her much. If she throws herself at Brecken, which is exactly what she's been doing for the past few days, and he ignores it I'm so afraid that it will crush her. Tomorrow I have been told that Logan will be here and Brecken is coming over with him. Does this mean that my fears are uncalled for? I don't know. Time will tell I suppose. I only hope that I am clever enough to show her that I'm here for her without alienating her. That has been happening lately a lot. She is pulling away from me in a big way. Lord give me the strength to see her through this one. And maybe Lord you could cut my child a break and let this boy like her, just a little bit...she's so unsure of herself these days. I'll post again on the outcome of this young soap opera of sorts...til next time all.

Summer's End!

2005-08-29T06:12:00.000-05:00

So the last weekend of summer has just passed. It was a nice weekend. Festival Days here in town and although they sucked at least it gave us something to do. Went in the parade, YIPPEE! Not!, on my aunts float handing out baby trees. It was extremely hot and I didn't really enjoy myself. From what I hear from people who watched the parade, I was better off in it than watching it. Wasn't much of a parade I guess. After that we took a ride to camp with niece and her dogs to let them run a little. It was peacful there and we spent some quality time with her, which we do to little of lately. In the evening we went to the of so much fun street dance that was a totaly flop and I hauled my daughters ass out of there by 8:15. Came home then and went up on the hill to watch the fireworks. Another FLOP! Lasted all of about 6 minutes. I am so glad that it's over.
Yesterday we went kayaking down the river and it was a lot of fun. Left at 10 and got out of the river at 2:30. It was quite an adventure. Nobody tipped over and the sun wasn't out that much so no serious sunburns. Today my arm is a little sore as is my back from sitting that long but all in all I loved the day. Finished the day off with supper at Deb's house and then home to do the housework that I knew I wouldn't be able to do this morning due to hubby sleeping. Even went to bed early last night and that was a nice thing to do. I woke up feeling pretty good this morning. EXCEPT!...The kid is in a seriously bad mood today.

End of summer blues maybe, I don't know. All I know is the 8th grade from Hell that I spoke aobut in a past post has already begun. It starts with the attitude. Now, I'm the type of parent that refuses to put up with an attitude. There isn't a need for it and no reason why she should be pissy at all. She's well rested, eating right, and I just spent a ton of money on her school shopping so I should see nothing but grins and giggles out of her. I know, that's wishful thinking. I'm also not a stupid parent...I know that with the age comes the attitude. We've had "words" about it already this morning and I've gotten plenty of eye rolling thrown my way. Now she is in her room reading and avoiding me at all lengths. Fine with me, makes my day more peaceful when I don't have to worry about it...I know she's in her room and reading is good for her so she can stay there all day as far as I'm concerned.
That's how my day is going so far. We have two more days of official summer vacation...How will I spend it? I think a trip to Sam's club so I don't have to do it tomorrow and maybe a decent supper for a change. In two days she will be back in school and the Winter routine will begin. I don't like change but in this case I think it's just what we need around here. Any tips on how to handle the attitude that I'm sure will be here for a couple of years will be appreciated so send them my way. Have a great day, and start to your week All! Luv to every one of you...Peace!

DAY NUMBER TWO!

2005-08-26T05:54:00.000-05:00

So here I am, up again and at the computer before 7:00 a.m. The daughter got up a little easier this morning and is trying out a routine that starts at 6:15 (only because I was late getting her up). She is in between the stage where she wants to look her very best and the stage where she wants to be lazy...I've been fighting with her for ten minutes on why she should blow dry her hair because it makes it look better than just leaving it to dry on it's own. I won, sort of. She did go to blow dry it but came out with it half wet still. The outfit she has on is fine for a day at home...the pants are a little too short for her and the shirt isn't one that I would have ever picked for her...it's ugly. But I guess I can't tell her how to dress. She still has to make her bed and eat breakfast but I think next week is doable. I'll be setting her alarm for fifteen minutes earlier than today and another couple of days of this routine and she'll be fine. She was out until 10:00 last night and I think she's realizing that that isn't a good bedtime for when school gets in. She's dragging her butt. Fo me, the routine still sucks. I woke up at 5:45 this morning and my eyes stung when I tried to open them...they just weren't ready for daylight I guess. I did manage to pull myself out and got ready before hubby got home from night shift. I've been thinking about the added hours to daylight savings time. I understand it to mean that there will be an extra week in the fall before we set the clocks back, (keep in mind that this means the trick or treaters will either be starting out in the daylight, which you know won't happen, or they will start an hour later and that means we'll have trick or treaters pounding at the door still at 9 p.m.) and we will set our clocks forward in the spring a week early. That means that we'll have an extra week at the end of the school year trying to get our kids to bed in the daylight and they'll hate that. It's all a part of CHANGE! And I hate change. I know you all do too. Anyhow, that's how the day has started for me...and it looks to be a busy day with helping with the parade float for a few hours and heading to work tonight...and I'm sure there will be ten kids at the house all day, hopefully not before hubby wkaes up. I'm looking for some new interesting posts out there...I think we are all jet lagged from the summer. Have a great day peoples! Luvs to you all!

Did I say I was Ready?

2005-08-25T06:35:00.000-05:00

Ok, a few posts back I talked about how although summer will be missed, I was ready for it to be over and the kids to get back to school and how I longed to have a "routine" again. My daughter has alread started helping with a couple of cheering squads and she has touched base with all her school friends about who they has for homeroom and what they were wearing first day of school. The husband is back to work from too much time off this summer and I'm looking into the online courses being offered from our Adult Ed. The nights are cooler and there is a bite at your toes when they first hit the floor in the morning...all is right with the world.
NOT!!! This morning I started the routine of getting up at 5:30 and you know what? IT SUCKS!!! Then I tried to pull baby girl out of bed, since she needs to get used to the routine also, and she was miss crabby pants and just turned over and went back to sleep. I hopped into the shower so I could be clear of the bedroom when Hubby got homw from night shift. I about froze my tushy off when I stepped out of it to grab a towel. (of course our furnace runs but I refuse to turn it on before at least October.) My eyes were all stingy because the sun was reflecting through on of the windows and all I wanted to do was hide under those nice warm covers of my comfy bed. No, can't do that! This is too damned early! Next week these kids have to be in their first class at 7:32 a.m. The school wonders why the kids struggle with grades and why they have attitudes all the time...well, maybe if they'd start school a little later so the kids could frigen sleep in it might help. And us parents would be a lot happier also. An hour extra sleep a day would really help the world I think. I know, I know, after a week or two of this my body will be adjusted to this new time schedule and everything WILL be right with the world. But for now I just am not ready to get up this early. Can't I hang on to my summer "sleeping in" just a few days longer? No, I won't...I'll continue on this God Forbidden schedule and in no time it will be just the norm. But for now I want to just sit and bitch about it...I'm sure there are others out there that feel the same way. Have a beautiful summer day people...enjoy it now while you can...and cherish the warmth of the sun on your face one last time before Jack comes nipping at your beaker. Peace Out!

One More!

2005-08-24T11:54:00.000-05:00

Wednesday, August 24, 2005
A New MEME

1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? How much of a mess my hair and skin is! I hate it!

2. How much cash do you have on you right now?
$8

3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
Zest...Orange preferrably

4. Favorite plant?
Stargazer Lillies for a flowering bulb and I'd have to say the vine thingy that is growing in my master bath...the only hting I haven't killed yet

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
No Cell...and I reufuse to get one!

6. What is your main ring tone on your phone?
it's just a ring...nothing special

7. What shirt are you wearing?
"Don't Touch My Chocolate" shirt under my Maine mango sweatshirt. I really need some new clothing...

8. Do you "label" yourself?
Yes, and unfortunately none are the labels are encouraging.

9. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing?
Avia Sneaks...and they are FINALLY clean! Bleach does wonders!

10. Do you prefer a bright or dark room?
The Brighter The Better

11. What did you have for breakfast?
Zuchinni Bread...only one slice though

12. Since question 12 is weirdly missing, make some shit up.
Oh come on...we really have to use our minds on this MEME???? Let's just keep it simple...

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Dreaming sweet dreams

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
I already told you...NO CELL!

15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?
Like I'd ever do anything that stupid

16. What's an expression that you say a lot?
Talk to the Elbow, you aren't worth the extension

17. Who told you they loved you last?
Baby Girl

18. Last furry thing you touched?
Lucy Bones

19. How many hours a week do you work?
24/7....I'm a stay at home mom

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
none

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
25

22. Your worst enemy?
Tracy Boyle! Someday I know in my heart he will do something horrible to me! NO DOUBTS!

23. What is your current desk top picture?
on the computer...our cow friends...on my real desktop...my four babies, Jazzy, Emmy, Lucy, Iggy

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
No I don't want to go!

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to go back in time and fix all your mistakes which would you choose?
The Money! For once in my life I'd like to not have to worry about which bill to pay next...and I firmly believe that mistakes HAVE to be made for the learning process to continue forever.

Another One to Keep You All Busy

2005-08-22T17:16:00.000-05:00

Ok, here's another one. I love these things...gives us all something to do...mindless entertainment!

Julie...

1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES?
Mixed Colors

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
My Sergei

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
DELL

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
I hate them...cards are different though

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Birds and Blooms

6. FAVORITE SMELL?
Cows Breath...I actually have many so I can't say I have a favorite

7. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL?
skunk

8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE
UP IN THE MORNING?
Oh Gosh, I have to get up!

9. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?
yellow

10. LEAST FAVORITE COLORS?
I like all colors

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
2 if I'm close enough

12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME?
no more kids but Katie or Callie if I were to have one

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE?
contentment

14. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE JOB?
haven't liked any of them

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
Chocolate.

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST?
I hate to drive...I think we need horse and wagon's again..no, I'd hate that too.

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Does a Mooshi Pillow count?

18. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT STORMS?
The stronger the thunder the better...love a good snapper

19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
Haven't had one yet...Tim's first new one was a Beretta.

20. WHAT IS YOUR SIGN AND YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Cancer...July 11

21. STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
I'm trying to like them

22. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE?
have no idea...that's why I'm a stay at home mom.

23. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY PRESENT IN THE WORLD WHAT
WOULD IT BE?
Enough money to make life a little easier for a change

26. color hair: what would it be.
RED...if I were brave enough

25. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY?
depends on the day

26. FAVORITE MOVIES
Gone With The Wind

27. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS?
I try but very seldom succeed

28. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
besides dust bunnies? Storage boxes and cat hair

29. What is your favorite number?
5

30. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH?
none

31. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR?
illness and death

32. SAY ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON YOU GOT THIS FROM!
Karyn~~~what can I say? You are so great!

34. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
House

35. WHICH DO YOU PREFER--KETCHUP OR MUSTARD?
niether

36. FAVORITE SOFT DRINK?
none

37. WHAT'S THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN?
Any place secluded from the rest of the world

38. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW?
Our Cow Friends on the Kennebec

39. BURGER KING OR MCDONALDS?
Yuck!

40. HOW MUCH TIME EACH DAY ARE YOU ON BLOGGER?
One Hour

41. BEST MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE
Kristen...do I need to say more

42. FOUND THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE?
thought so but the jury is still out

43. KEPT THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE?
for now...we'll see

44. FAVORITE PLACE TO BE
Under the stars

So Many Questions, So Little Time!

2005-08-22T17:15:00.000-05:00

A QUIZ! Come On Now, Don't Spoil The Fun!

Name? Were you named after anyone? Julie...and I hate the name!

Do you wish on stars? yes

When did you last cry? I try to not cry unless it's really necessary...like when you watch that really sappy movie for the tenth time.

Do you like your handwriting? I hate it

What is your favorite lunch meat? Yuck! Too many calories.

What is your birth date? 7/11/67

What is your most embarrassing CD? Milli Vanilli

If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? probably not most days. But I'd like to think I'll try to be friends with anyone.

Do you have a journal? yes, but I haven't written in it for a long time

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Everyday in some form...keeps life real!

What are your nicknames? none

Would you bungee jump? Drunk!

Do you think that you are strong? Only in some ways.

What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate Swirl

Shoe Size? 7

Red or pink? Yellow

Do you want everyone that reads this to reply? yes

What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Jean shorts, bare feet

What are you listening to right now? Seventh Heaven on the tube...Daughter's favorite show.

Last thing you ate? leftovers!

What is the weather like right now? perfect

Last person you talked to on the phone? Marlisa

The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? the way he dresses

Favorite Drink? H2O

Favorite Sport? volleyball if I had to choose...

Hair Color? brown

Eye Color? brown

Do you wear contacts? no

Favorite Food? lobster

Last Movie You Watched? Harry Potter for the 100th time

Favorite Day Of The Year? used to be Christmas until some family members ruined it...makes it all too stressful now...Now I am pretty happy with just about any day that I wake up healthy.

Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Happy Endings

Favorite Movie? Gone With The Wind! Forever!

Summer Or Winter? Fall

Hugs OR Kisses? Both

What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Pies at Thanksgiving...now why do we only make them for that one day and forget about them the rest of the year?

What Books Are You Reading? My Sergei

What's On Your Mouse Pad? DELL

What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Blogged all evening then bed!

Favorite Smells? Pot Roast cooking

Favorite Sounds? Church Bells

Rolling Stones or Beatles? Fleetwood Mac has them both beat

What's the furthest you've been from home? RI...pathetic huh?

Do you have a special talent? my secret!

What is your ring tone? none

What is the strangest thing about you? I want you all to tell me the answer to this one!

What is your favorite color? yellow

Pets? Cats, fish

Favorite TV show? House

Married/Single? married

Kids? one girl

3 things you like about yourself? I don't lie (fib maybe but all innocent), I care what others think, I'm willing to try my hand at anything

3 things you hate about yourself? There are too many to count...but I am who I am.

Ok People...now post this on your blog and we'll all be a little closer. Have fun!

Try This...It's a Mel Thing!

2005-08-18T19:50:00.000-05:00

If you respond to this I'll give it a try...no promises of the outcome.

I got this over at Melslife, The rules are, you comment on this post, and I will answer the following about each person:

1. I'll respond with a random thought I have about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me (or so we think).
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what intoxicant you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you; you must post this on your blog.

My Life...And Some Thoughts!

2005-08-17T19:26:00.000-05:00

Ok, I've been bitched at for slacking off on my posting so here I am...making people happy once again.
Not much going on in my life...Hubby is on his second vacation of the summer and I'm SO ready for him to NOT be on a vacation. We are at each others throats constantly because there just isn't anything left to do. Yes, we could do the camping thing or the beach thing but truthfully, I'm tired of it. The summer is winding down and I'm trying to get into "back to school" mode. He's ready to still be go, go, go! We decided to play this vacation day to day. Whatever we want to do when we wake up in the morning is the plan for the day. We all wake up wanting to do SOMETHING but none of us really know exactly what that something is. He spends most of his day out in the shop making his knives pouting because after a very expensive summer so far the funds are exhausted to the point where I don't dare to be quite so spend-thrifty. He pouts because everything we think of to do is something that costs megabucks and he knows we just can't risk it. Our young teen has had a terrible week emotionally. A planned double date didn't go as planned and then a very good friend decided to be a little twit and baby gilr got her feelings hurt. Nothing Old Mom and Dad can do about it so she's just spending time alone in her room pondering what happened over and over. Mom, the one that was in the hospital last week is doing better but the meds are taking their toll on her body and she's spending her days on the couch mostly. She's ugly all the time and tends to still take it out on me...although she is mostly bitching about the other grand-daughter (not my child) and her stupid antics that she's been pulling lately. Word of advice to all those 22 year olds out there...DON'T GET DRUNK AND THEN CALL YOUR GRANDPARENTS TO CRY ON THIER SHOULDER BECAUSE LIFE ISN'T GOING AS PLANNED! You can all go ahead and call your grandparents for advice but don't do it drunk! It really pisses them off.

How about some stuff to think about...this is what has been in my mind lately...

I noticed today that cats eyes don't move. Ever notice that? People have muscles in their eyes that allow movement from side to side and up and down and all around without having to move thier heads. Even Dogs...when they are laying peacefully on the floor they don't have to lift thier head to see what's going on...they just lift up an eyebrow and peek around. But cat's don't have this ability and I just noticed it. Our kitty love his rides to camp...but I can't help but wonder what they see and what they are thinking when the car is going down the road at 55 mph and trees and bushes are zooming by. Do they actually see this? Think aobut it, when we are riding, we have constant eye movement becasue it's too hard to focus on one steady spot. Try looking out the side window the next time you are riding down the road. It'll give you a headache if you think about it too much...trust me. Cats have no eye movement so it can't be too great for the health of thier eyes when they go on those trips to the vets or just for a ride in general. Keep in mind it's only us strange people that take thier cats on car trips!

Something else I've observed lately is the countless amount of money that changes hands at a typical State Fair. I went to our state fair a few days ago and was watching everything going on while hubby was getting some relief in the potty. After paying to get through the gates and for the ride passes and for the greasy food and the cotton candy and the carnival games...OH MY GOSH! Any of us working our hard ass jobs are definitely in the wrong business. Thousands and Thousands of dollars go through a typical fairground in just an hour. And with the price of gas lately and school shopping and family trips and we can't forget those $150 basketball sneaks for our young athlete, you'd think that people would be too broke to head to the fair. NOPE! All walks of life head to the fair as soon as it arrives and many of them don't just go one day. Most go countless times, depending on the length of the fair. And what happens to our children at these things. Young girls, no more than 12 or 13 running around with what little figures they have hanging out of skimpy little tank tops...shorts cut up to thier ya'ya's. All of them out there flaunting what they have for whatever they can get out of these young boys. These are the same young girls that get honor roll and act respectable from September to June. I just don't get it! The next time you head to a fair close to you, stop for a moment and look at what I'm talking about. And think of the endless amount of money being spent, sex being handed out to strangers, and idiotic behavior taking place. And then stop to think WHY you are there. Look around at the people...most you wouldn't want to be seen talking to. But here you are hanging with the best of the worst.

These are just a couple things I've been thinking aobut lately. Hope they made you stop and think about things too...Hope you enjoyed this post.
For those of you who bitched about my slacking, Satisfied??? I promise to try to post more often. Bye All!

Good Thoughts For A Change!

2005-08-09T16:47:00.000-05:00

I have this need to write something good for a change so here it goes...

~~20 REASONS TO SMILE~~

1. Waking up ro a hug from your kid
2. Enjoying one piece of choclate (ok, maybe three or four)
3. A starlit sky
4. Ice Cream Cake for your birthday
5. Losing that last ten pounds
6. That hour of "me" time after the kids have gone to bed
7. Finding the ring you thought you lost down the drain
8. Sleeping all night
9. A really good hair day
10. A rainbow after a sun-shower
11. Getting everything done at work before the deadline(That's for Mel)
12. Catching that first snowflake on your tongue
13. The first day of summer
14. The first day of school
15. You child telling you she loves you, just out of the blue
16. Looking around and realizing your house isn't really that dirty after all
17. $10 in the dryer (finders keepers)
18. The friend that keeps you going from day to day
19. That look between you and your spouse that shows how much you mean to each other
20. Your Laugh Lines!
12.

A Not So Good Start To The Week!

2005-08-08T14:54:00.000-05:00

I've been dealing with the Mom situation for four days now, not to mention the months of agony she's been through. The operation went ok. Doctor says he thinks he can do her treatment right in Watrville. If it turns out he can't, she'll have to go to Boston for treatment. We've made it through the not feeling so good from the anesthesia and now we've moved on to the irritability. She is negative about EVERYTHING. The service from the nurses suck, the housekeeping doesn't clean good enough, the food sucks, she wants to come home. The last part I can't blame her for. Nobody likes being in the hospital. But in all reality that is the best place for her. She has it in her head that she is coming home tomorrow...she wishes it was today. I am in hopes that they keep her intil the end of the week. It will give her wounds time to heal and be properly cared for. She has a very long road ahead of her. Maybe months. And there's still always the possibility that she may lose her foot from the infection. I don't want to see that happen so that's why I feel she should suck it up and stay put right in the hospital. Most people that know the situation agree with me, except for two people. Mom and Dad. And I don't know how to make them see it differently. Anyhow, after a long and trying weekend, it has flowed right into this week. I know I can still be the good daughter and make it through it but boy, is it getting to me. I have a headache that won't quit and no energy so I just sit here and watch tv and try to re-coup before I have to head back to the hospital. I am also trying to entertain my 12 year old that only wants to spend some quality time together and enjoy what's left of summer vacation. Hubby is on vacation from work starting Friday so hopefully that will help ease some of the pressure I'm under. I'll keep you all posted and hopefully the next post I enter will be a happier one. God, please help me through this! Evjoy your week everone.

A Sucky Weekend!

2005-08-06T16:00:00.000-05:00

So this is how my weekend is going...SUCKY! Began yesterday morning when my mother returned from a doctors appointment in tears. She told me she was being admitted to the hospital with her wounds, (she's had them for at least six months) and they were going to operate on them and there was a possiblity that she might lose her foot. I just stood there! I didn't know what to say. She has been through so much already and now to have to go through more. I have watched her for months in excruciating pain from vasculitis, which is a newer disease that they don't know much about, and all the research I've been doing on the net has told me what is still to come. Her operation was today to cut out the dead parts of the wounds and take a biopsy. The doctor didn't say much. He told us of how the pain she's been experiencing is nothing compared to the pain that is yet to come. It will have to get worse before it gets better...and I thought they only used that metaphor in the movies. Patrick Swayze said it much better than this doctor did. Anyway, most of the day has been spent at the hospital watching as my mother has tried to come out of the anethesia and I'm watching as her feet start to come to (they froze them with novacaine). The more they come to the more they burn and hurt. What more does this poor woman have to endure. It tears at my heartstrings because all I can do is sit back and watch it all happen. I can't make her more comfortable and I can't heal her myself. I feel helpless and I don't do well when I feel this way. I'm always the fixer around here. She's looking at a long recovery and there's still a chance gangrean will set in and she'll lose her foot. At least six months before it's healed and since she's a slow healer anyway it'll probably be more like two years. Two Years! And with me ready to go back to work after being a stay at home mom. How can I do that when she'll need me here. I am trying to have positive thoughts about it all. She's going to be fine and she won't lose her foot! If I keep thinking that maybe it will come true. Dad came home shortly after I did not so positive. He's talking like she did the wrong thing and that these doctors are too eager to cut, cut, cut. She's such a slow healer and she's a bleeder so I can see his concerns. Still, I'm only hoping that he doesn't go and say things like, "you maybe shouldn't have done it" or "It's gonna hurt like hell!" She can't handle hearing things like that. It'll make her start thinking she DID do the wrong thing and that she still MIGHT lose her foot. Only time will tell on all of this I suppose. Well, that's how my weekend is going. I'm going back to the hospital in a little bit to see how she's doing. Tomorrow I'll spend the remainder of the weekend cleaning her house so she doesn't have to think about that when she gets released. I am still smiling at the beautiful weather we are having and I am going to stay positive. Boy, it's draining though. I'll keep you all posted and I hope you are all having a much better weekend than I am. Smile and the world smiles with you! So you'd all better be smiling enough for both of us! Chow for now!

Where Did The Summer Go?

2005-08-03T06:23:00.000-05:00

I couldn't wait for June 17th to get here. Finally I was going to be able to sleep past 5 a.m. and my days would be filled bonding with my preteen. Suntan's and days at the beach, long walks in the evening and ice cream cones as a treat, sitting up late at night watching tear jerker movies together...where did the days go so quickly? A sure sign that things are about to change is school shopping, state fairs, family reunions winding down...I hate this time of year. Back to School! The summer just isn't long enough. Soon it will be early mornings and and running from one school even to another, tears through a pile of homework, young girls bickering back and forth over stupid things...I'm just not ready for it to start all over again. I've been warned that in our school district, eighth grade is the worst! The kids are unprepared for the amount of homework suddenly thrown at them and the shenanigans of these 13 year olds are more complex. Most of them experience real peer pressure for the first time with offers of drinking and drugs...and the little boys minds are starting to think of every way possible to get into a girls jeans. I'm just not ready to let go of summer yet. I want her to be home with me a few more days. She has about three weeks left until that dreaded first day of school. By that time she will have talked with her buddies and they will be ready to spend their days together, making plans for the Friday night dance or doing homework together. I on the other hand will sit alone in my bedroom in tears because one more summer with my baby has come and gone. Will I survive it? Of course I will! And I've raised my daughter to know right from wrong so I know she'll survive it also. Will I like it? NO WAY! My wish is for summer vacation to last longer...how about three months of school and nine months of vacation for a change? So, even though we have those three weeks left of Summer of 2005, this is my farewell to it. The next three weeks will go by in a blurr with all the shopping still to do and earlier bedtimes so we all won't be cranky when we have to start getting up at 5 a.m. The State Fair will go by in a shot and we will take one last trip to the beach and maybe squeeze in one more weekend at camp. Goodbye! Summer 2005! It's been great and we'll do it all again in June of 2006.

View From The Outhouse Door! My Dedication To Bre...

2005-07-26T18:57:00.000-05:00

Here are a couple of nice scenery pictures...kinda pretty huh?

So here's the story...So many people tell me about their camping trips and Moosehead Chalet's and how they "rough it" and have a pretty good time. Well, these same people refuse to go to the bathroom in an outhouse! How can you call it Roughing It if you still need the luxury of indoor plumbing? Outhouses aren't all that bad. Yes, you get the occasional spider (which I hate immensely) and sometimes a mosquito will take a chunk out of your butt and the smell isn't the most pleasant smell in the air (stick ups help!), but it's another one of those cases where it's all in the way you look at the experience. Take these pictures above for instance. This is the view from our own outhouse on the Carrabasset River. Crystal clear water running and beautiful rock formations from years of water pounding against them, the calming sound of waterfalls not too far away, and you might even see a cute chipmunk run by from time to time. I don't think the whole outhouse experience is all that bad. You certainly don't get a view like this in your own bathroom at home do you? NO! I didn't think so. So, the next time you are out in the woods roughing it or visiting a camp ground or even hanging at a friends home away from home, and you need to go potty, close your eyes, open that outhouse door, and picture the view that I get every time I use ours...It really does help if you look at the beauty in the experience!

High's and Low's

2005-07-22T19:03:00.000-05:00

It has always amazed me how life can be so up one minute and then so down the next. This summer has been no exception. We have had some wonderful high points in life here...a couple of great weekends camping, a smile on my daughters face almost every day, money matters seem to be at an even keel, been in touch with some old friends, really awesome sex lately...well, I'm sure you get the picture. Then life has dealt us some pretty intense low points...Trouble with vehicles, an upset at the mill and we are still wondering if his job will last much longer, death in the family, Mom hasn't been doing to well lately, and other family members have problems I just can't help them with. I just don't understand why life can't just go along at a steady pace. What force of nature creates all the exceptionally good times for us that have us on cloud nine and then slaps us in the face with tragedy and grief and worry? If it us ourselves that unconciously create the problems? I don't know. Take yesterday for an example...Woke up in a great mood. Two hours later we were in it up to our asses tearing apart rotten wood from a deck at camp and dodging a nest of bumble bees in the process. When we finished we were all sweaty and dirty and just plain feeling miserable. Things started looking brighter on the way home. Daughter had a good friend to keep her company and when we got here I made an awesome supper that hit the spot of all our bellies. Swam for a while and then hubby and I engaged in some of the best sex we've had in quite some time...just like we were young lovers again. Then everything came crashing down when I went to check on my ailing mother only to find out she was in so much pain that she couldn't even walk. This just killed the mood created by good food and great sex. Now we were all in constant worry and that feeling of helplessness overwhelmed us all. We did all get a good nights sleep and the day started off pretty good today, with a nice kayaking adventure and a trip to the seafood market for lobster. Then we get home and mom is in even worse shape than the night before. Nothing I could do for her as she sat there in tears as Dad changed her bandages. With all these High's and Low's that we deal with every day it's no wonder we are all stressed right out. I dream of a place where problems never find you. Beautiful Landscaping everywhere and the sounds of nature all around you. No phone to answer and hear bad news from. No computer where you find out other people you care about are having the same high's and low's as you are. Sunshine most of the time and cozy beds for tremendous night's sleep. No worries over jobs and teenage drama. No stress over the dirt and dust in your home. Is there such a place? I doubt it...so tonight I think I'll dream about it. Maybe we all should. That's it til next time everyone...hopefully that dream will come true and the next post will be pure bliss. Peace to everyone!

Our weekend at Moosehead

2005-07-19T18:15:00.000-05:00

The pictures came out great and here are just a few...

Dad! Look what you did to my make up!
Precious Baby Boys
Tubing was great!

Precious Baby Girls
"The Gang" (who is that trying to hide behind her daughter?)
Kineo
Kaptain Kool
The Mighty Kayakers

A great time was had by all! Hope to do it all over again soon! Enjoy the pics.

For A Good Time...Call Mel- 555-2345

2005-07-18T19:46:00.000-05:00

Ok, Trying to be a little humorous here. And I bet you thought it was one of those things you see on the bathroom wall at the airport!
Seriously though, I'd like to use this post as a heart-felt thank you. We spent the last four days at Mels camp on Moosehead Lake and we all had such a good time. I can't even discribe how grateful I am to her and her family! They never skipped a beat all weekend. It's like they knew when to just lay low and relax and they also knew when it was time to have some serious fun. We kayaked, swam, boated, tubed, enjoyed a great fire at night, ate terrific food, had super conversation, and just enjoyed getting closer to them all. The Weather Gods decided to smile down on us the entire weekend and aside from being a little tired, burned and beat up from tubing, I wouldn't a traded a minute of the weekend for anything. I hated to see it all end.
For a little background here, Mel's husband is my husband's brother. We have always been friends, but not the closeness we've had with each other lately. About a year and a half ago I broke down and let my husband spend money on a computer. I'm a hard ass when it comes to spending money so I didn't want to have anything to do with one. Boy was I WRONG!!!! The computer has brought me very close to people I never thought I could have a relationship with. And I am so glad I was soooo wrong. I've developed a relationship with Melody that I've longed for for a very long time. She knows the story so I'm sure she won't be surprised when she reads this. Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a long mushy story...I just want to tell Lloyd and Melody that we all truly enjoyed every part of the weekend and can't wait to spend more time together. I'll be blogging again soon about the weekend...IF the pictures come out good and if I can figure out how to post them. Luvs to all!

Question things are great!

2005-07-18T17:02:00.000-05:00

Ok, I love these question thingy's. Really makes us stop and look at who we really are! Hope you find my answers interesting.

10 years ago: I was a mom of a two year old baby girl and really doubting myself taht I had what it takes to raise a great kid. I had just rekindled a friendship that had gone sour a few year earlier and she had a baby just about the same time I did and I watched every day as she seemed to know exactly what the next step would be in her parenting. I felt very inadequate and unsure that I could do this thing. Another thing that made this time in my life a bit difficult was a bad flu bug that left me at about 82 pounds and extremely weak. For six weeks I did nothing but watch as my mother, God bless her, took care of my family and me. She did all the parenting stuff not only for me but took on my roll too and it really bothered me. I felt so useless. I was so weak for two of those weeks that my sweet husband had to lift me up to set me in the tub to bathe. I watched as everyone around me did MY jobs and much better than I did them I might add. We survived this time in life and today we (meaning me) are a different person because of it in many ways. You get to do a lot of thinking laying flat on your back in bed for six weeks.

5 years ago: Substitute teaching and learning how to be a pretty good mom. Overly dedicated, but not as bad as I thought I was five years earlier. Trying to get over the awful feeling everyone in my husbands family always made me have. Totally involved with my niece who thought it was appropriate to run away from home and make it all more MY problem than my sister's. Again Survived this time in life with much more than a scrape. Resiliant that way are we not?

1 year ago: Summer vaca with my daughter and hubby for most of it. With daughter growing up so quickly the summers seem to come and go so quickly.

Yesterday: Camp with incredible family members. Brother in-law tried to kill me tubbing behind that damned boat and I was feeling quite "hurty" all over. Again seem to be surviving.

Today: Packed up and came home in the oppressive humidity. Ready to be at home but already missing the great time I had.

Tomorrow: Taking the truck to the garage since the check engine light came on. Why do these things always seem to happen on vacation? Going to get pictures developed from the greatest weekend I've had in a long time.

5 snacks I enjoy: Popcorn, oreo cookies, grapes, ice cream, and chex mix.

5 Bands I know most of the lyrics their songs: Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nicks, Reba, Prince, Micheal Jackson

5 things I would do with $100,000,000: Buy a new home, give my daughter half of it so she can have a good life on her own, Take my husband to Alaska, adopt a child, open an animal shlter of some kind.

5 locations I'd like to run away to: Hawaii, Africa, The Outback, The Caribbean, Aspen

5 bad habits I have: Skip words as I am reading a good book just to get through it faster, open mouth insert foot syndrome, Can't seem to leave those pimples alone to heal on their own, lack of self confidence, and according to everyone else I worry about everything (I think they are all a bunch of ding dong's cuz I don't worry about anything!)

5 things I like doing: Kayaking, bubble baths, volunteering, gardening, bird watching

5 things I would never wear: bikini, china flats, turtle necks, black lipstick, nose or tounge ring

5 TV shows I like: House, Surreal Life, The Cosby Show, As the World Turns, Little House on the Prarie

5 movies I like: Gone With The Wind, Where The Heart Is, The Substitute Wife, Dances With Wolves, Dirty Dancing

5 famous people I'd like to meet: Keeping this to those who are alive... Micheal Jackson, Stevie Nicks, Maury Povich, Oprah, Ellen DeGeneres

5 biggest joys at the moment: My daughter, My Husband, My animals, Certain Family Members, The breeze coming gently through the window.

Keep up with the Question Blogs...We should all open up and get to know each other better like this!

The Dreaded Trip!

2005-07-14T05:33:00.000-05:00

The day has come...You get up with a sunken heart knowing what lies ahead for you.
Day starts as usual, Breakfast, shower, clothing...you know it can't be all that bad right! Off you go...you get there and wait for what seems like hours. They call your name. You follow the girl into a small room. "Have a seat" she says politely. She asks a few simple questions then the process begins. First things first though, open mouth insert very large piece of cardboard that you have to bite painfully down on. Two on each side...this totally sucks so far. That process over you think to yourself, "Ok the worst is over". You are so wrong! The chair is getting sticky under your legs now. The anticipation is geting you all hot, and not in a good way either. She straps the so attractive little bib to you, sits gently on her stool next to your chair and tells you to open. Comes at you with what looks to be an etchin tool of some kind. Picks around every tooth with it. Hey, this isn't too bad! She says they look pretty good and you have a small sigh of relief. She turns then turns back to you with the monster hook..."Ok, now lets get started" she says. Your fingers clench around the arms of the chair. She starts to scrape, slowly at first, then more and more forcefully. Feels like she is trying to rip the enamel off each tooth. Oopps...she picks into your gums and as you sit there in agony she simply says,"Oh, a little sensitivity there huh?". DUH!!!!! She sits you up and asks you to rinse. When you spit blood fills the little bowl beside you. You think to yourself, "Is this some kind of slow torture chamber?" You lean back and she doesn't waste a minute to dive back in. She does each tooth carefully. You lay there thinking this can't take much longer. When she gets to the front teeth you start to cringe. You know the feeling is coming. Way worse than fingernails on a blackboard is about to happen to you. With the monster she starts to dig at your bottom front teeth. Oh the pain! With every scrape you feel like every nerve in your body is being picked at by that monster. Will it ever stop! "Oh Dear, it looks like a little Gingivitis has set in here. You really should floss more that you do you know!" With hook still protruding from mouth you try to tell her that you floss at least once a day and most of the time more than that. What does this girl know anyway? You were taught oral hygiene in grade school. You take care of your teeth properly and now this witch tells you you aren't doing it right! The nerve! Literally! THE NERVE! She just had to scrape one last time and as she did she hit the mother of all nerves. Your whole body feels like it does when you bump your funny bone or jam your knee into the hitch on the truck. OMG will you EVER get out of here? She sits back and asks what flavor. Mint of course...you outgrew the bubblegum years ago. YUCK! This is not your trusted toothpaste from home! Kinda tastes like that mint jelly served on those crackers at the inlows Christmas Party last year. And it is so gritty you feel like you are on the beach and some kid ust kicked sand on your lunch and you didn't know it. "Come on, let me spit!", you think to yourself. Nope, that would rinse off the good stuff. Yeah Right! She pulls out a strand of floss and says "Now when you are at home, don't do as I'm doing now." (Wait, didn't she just tell you to floss more?) "You should always floss BEFORE you brush" she says. She proceeds to show you a new way to brush your teeth. Instead of holding your toothbrush lengthwise along your teeth, hold it upright and then gently do each tooth individually. You are thinking this girl is a nut case. You don't have time to brush this way every day. Yippee! She's finished! Oops, she pushed the button to call in the big kahuna. In he comes, looks over your charts and sits on that blessed stool. Tells a few stories...VERY DRY SENSE OF HUMOR HERE! You roll your eyes back and think to yourself "will this experience ever end?" He does his thing...a little more gently than the girl did. "Hey they look great. Keep up the good work!" Off he goes. Feeling relieved you take the bib off yourself...you can't bleieve the girl forgot it and was going to make you go out into public with it still on your neck. The idiot! And You are Paying her Good Money For This! You get out as quickly as you can, get to your vehicle and sit there and enjoy a sigh of relief. It's over. Yes your teeth feel smooth as glass but your gums are still bleeding a little. You have a massive headache from all the tension. Now on with your day. Hell, you only have six months to go before you do it all over again.

I am off now to see if the visit to my dentist will be as I remember from my last journey there. Wish me luck and if I don't post for a while you'll know that they sent me to the chamber of doom this time. Live well All!

For Cat Lovers Everywhere!

2005-07-13T18:39:00.000-05:00

Which would you lean towards?

2005-07-13T18:24:00.000-05:00

I heard something on the radio this morning somehting I found interesting...

The following is a list (I wish I had pictures to go with this but I don't so please visualize) of the perfect man for you...100 women polled on which one they'd choose...

Man dressed in...

1. Tight jeans and a sexy t-shirt
2. Dockers and a pink polo shirt
3. cargo shorts, short sleeved shirt and Teva's
4. Lounge pants with match t-shirt
5. nice business suit with a buttoned pinstripe shirt beneath
6. dickies and a work shirt
7. Nike shorts, muscle shirt, and basketball sneakers
8. Flat front Khaki pants and dress shirt unbuttoned a few buttons
9. wetsuit
10.baggy jeans hung so thier crack shows with a metallica shirt and chains

Out of the 100 women polled, a little more than 75% chose the business suit. I find this interesting...business attire makes it look like the guy has big bucks...is that all we are attracted to anymore? Money? Yes it would be nice to land a rich guy but I prefer the tight jeans and tight white t-shirt...with a killer smile and dimples of course! What do you all think?

Personals!

2005-07-12T05:37:00.000-05:00

Share! It Does A Body Good!

Ok Melody...you wanted me to share so here it goes...
1. At what age and under what circumstances did you lose your virginity? Was it disappointing, or all you'd thought it would be? At the age of 16, fell head over heals for a guy named John. He and I, His two brothers and their girlfriends (which were also great friends of mine) used to hang out in the upstairs of his Dad's garage. Very comfy place with a couch and sound system. We did it on that couch the first time and it hurt like hell but he was very gentle and made my first experience with "going ALL the way" a pleasant one. I see him on occasion and he's married with kids just like me and we can still give each other that secret look and remember those younger days upstairs in the garage.
2. What guilty pleasure do you indulge in that no one else knows about? No guilty pleasures and no secrets...I'm pretty much an open book with nothing to hide.
3. Do you have a birthmark, and if so, where is it and what does it look like? I have a birth mole on my face, but it sure isn't like Cindy Crawfords!
4. What's the saddest thing you've ever seen? The next door neighbor blew herself in the head with a gun and I was there to lend help with CPR...It was disgusting and sad and as I looked at her husband and one year old child my heart broke. I knew this girl wasn't going to make it.
5. What is the WORST book you've ever read? Romeo and Juliet. Ok, I know it's one of the greatest stories ever told but come on...None of you out there really understand the wording!
6. What is the most delicious food you've ever tasted? Any of you that know me knows that food is my passion. There is so many delicious combinations out there I can't name just one.
7. Have you ever had or BEEN a secret admirer? Details, please. Ok, do I have a story for you! My Junior year in high school, I started recieving these great letters with wonderful poetry from a secret admirer. He even signed it "Your Secret Admirer". I recieved about two per week every week for about four months and got so excited every time I opened my locker or my note book and there sat a new one. The poetry was taken from Frost and other great poets and every letter made me all tingly inside. I couldn't imagine this corny of a guy and how sweet he really might be in Madison High School... Most were idiots! After a while the letters got fewer and fewer and eventually my secret admirer was long gone...just a memory. I still puzzled as to who it might have been. I'd search for a silly grin in the faces in the corridor. It wasn't until just before I graduated the following year that my secret admirer came forward. Cathy Sensenig was her name and NO she wasn't a lesbo...she did it as a very cruel joke and even when I saw her again at my 10 year reunion she was still giggling about it. I've grown since then and although I can't see the humor in it still, I have put it behind me and have vowed to NEVER let my daughter or one of her friends get away with something so mean!.
8. Describe yourself in 10 words or less. Everything a woman should be...Some good/Some bad...Still Beautiful! (ok, it was 11 words but I'm such a complex person how can I possibly describe me in ten or less?!)
9. If you could spend an hour with anyone, anywhere, doing anything, who would it be, where and what would you do? Why? Stevie Nicks...I think she is an amazing artist and I'd love to just sit and talk with her...she's my idol...I know, idols are for teenagers, but I really connected with her when I was in high school, not just her music, her life story too, and I think it would be a gas to just sit and chat with her.
10. What is one thing you are ashamed to admit you know nothing about? I've made it a point to know a little something about everthing. I honestly can't think on one particular thing that I am ashamed of not knowing. I'm not saying I'm a know it all...I'm so far from that it's pathetic...I think that we all know a little about everything and nothing about all of it. Life is a learning experience from start to finish and people should be ashamed of the things they don't know about, they should just keep on learning!

Answer one, or some, or all of the questions. Of course you also have the option of answering none. But I hope you won't take that option. After all, isn't it kind of fun to just BARE your soul once in a while?
Ok Melody, there it is in a nutshell! Boring I know, but the truth. I love questions like these and anyone that wants to post different ones, MORE PERSONAL ONES, go for it! I'll bare my soul to anyone.

Successes Instead of Setbacks

2005-07-07T19:17:00.000-05:00

Every day, you do something...more than one thing!...right. And whether they're big things or small things, or things somewhere in between, celebrate them. Give yourself a pat on the back. Allow yourself to feel good about who you are and what you accomplish. Sure, there are things you wish you did better, things you wish turned out differently...that's natural. But why focus on them? You deserve recognition for what you do well. And that's a lot!!

Kayaking, Sunburns, and the Fourth Of July

2005-07-04T06:50:00.000-05:00

So, let's tell you about the weekend. Another great one weather wise. Saturday was pretty uneventful. We tried twice to take the kayaks out and the awater on Embden was just too choppy. It was disappointing to say the least. Hubby worked nights all weekend so he left at 8 and babe abd I went to bed fairly early. Sunday was a much more fun day. Morning started same as every Sunday...mowed the lawn and did yard work while babe did her lawn care job. Hub got up early and we struck off to kayak...finally. Embden was a booming place. Many boats and sea doos and the water was perfect for a nice paddle around. Off we went...before even entering the kayaks, hub and I both were injured. He cut his hand on a sharp part of the housing on his craft and I tare up the side of me ankle when I stepped down between the cement platforms at the boat landing. Didn't even realize I was bleeding til I was out in the middle of the lake. got it all over my water shoes and kayak but survived it. We paddled for a good two hours and it felt great. Babe was tired but all in all I think everyone had a good time. While paddling around old wishes started to surface. So many beautiful camps and oh how I'd love to have one. The one we have is good but you are limited to activities when you are on the Carrabassett. Fishing Wading and Campfires is all there is to offer there. Maybe someday the wishes will come true. That camper idea is looking better and better all the time...can be on a pond, lake or ocean if we went that route. Anyway, kayaking ended with a very tired child, injuries, and a pretty bad sunburn on my already tanned legs and arms. But it still felt great to get out there. Can't wait to do it again. Came back home for a simple bbq with the folks. Ended the day with a magnificent display of fireworks at Wings Farm in Industry. Awesome as usual. About 40 non-stop minutes and I have to say it was the best we've seen there yet. Never had a bad display there but this year they went above and beyond. Hubby missed it and that sucked a little...babe loved it and parents seems to enjoy themselves too. Got home really late and off to bed. It was a very rewarding day. Now I hope for many more like...Today will be a lazy stay at home day unless hub comes up with something fun to do when he wakes. I expect Babe to sleep til noon...she's wiped. 11 DAYS AND COUNTING!!!! I can't wait! I need so much to get out of here. Although the weekend was close to perfect the same old shit we deal with is still here. Mom is still moaning and groaning, and she has every right to, and Dad is still acting like an idiot. Kids are still bouncing off my walls every day and I get interupted every time I'm on the computer. (Even this post has been interupted about ten times already) I so look forward to a nice relaxing few days on Moosehead with great company and rays of sunshine. Hopefully Mother Nature cooperates. If I can set up the tent without getting wet I'll be happy. Do you think 11 days is too early to start planning the meals and the packing? I think not...just adds to the excitement. I so hope it goes as well if not better than the last time. Had a blast and look forward to doing it again. I wish I were Samantha so I could just wiggle my nose (which I have no idea if I can even do) and fast forward to the 15th. Will post again soon...maybe something funny next time. Smile People and Enjoy Life To It's Fullest! CHOW!!

Likes and Dislikes

2005-06-30T06:50:00.000-05:00

5 Dislikes...

1. ...The way I obsess about the neatness of my house. And believe me that it isn't the cleanest house in the wordl. I can't go to bed and sleep soundly if I know there is dirt on my floor and dishes in my sink. It's not a pigpen by any means...I just don't like walking across the wood floor and having litter and dust stick to the bottom of my feet. Right now I feel it is disgusting in here because of the heat we have been having...I haven't done a thourough cleaning for weeks. And nothing is more embarassing to me than having someone come to visit and my floor not being vaccummed.

2. ...I can't seem to just let things go...If someone doesn me wrong then I hold that inside for a very very long time. I will never forgive my own sister for the way she has treated me and some of the things my so called friends have done to me is so uncalled for. I know I should just write these people out of my life but I still feel the hurt they caused me and I just can't let go of it.

3. ...I need to stop complaining about my parents. They are both such negative people, but with good reasons, and I tend to complain a bit much about them. Many of my friends have lost one or both of their parents and I see how they miss them and they tell me they wish they had never ragged about them so much. I love my parents with all my heart and they know that but sometimes it just gets to me. One of my goals is to stop bitching about them and try looking at situations that arise as fond memories. I know they won't be with me forever.

4. ...I wish I could trust that I was a good parent to my daughter. I'm doing the best I can but sometimes I feel like I'm a little too mean...or that I'm handleing things wrong with her. Some days she sems so distant from me and I basically have to drag even a hello out of her. And I watch how she is with daddy and I get jealous because she'll cuddle and love him still and with me it's always standoffish. I know she loves me...I just hope I'm doing the right things and every day I doubt myself.

5. ...Being in control is a way of life for me and I hate it when I spin out of control. I'm not a very spontaneous person...I like to have a plan and stick to it...and I just can't catch up if those plans change. That's why I don't make permanent plans too far in advance...something always screws them up and I feel like I'm out of control. I am working on being a more "go with the flow" type person...hope I learn how soon.

OK...Now for the 5 likes...

1....I am always willing to try something new...and I usually love what I try. This past weekend I tried kayaking for the first tme and now I own three new kayaks and am very excited about it. I'm even like that with food...I'll try anything. And the entire time I was younger, I hated everything that went into my mouth. So I thinks it's great that I can actually swallow broccoli and not cringe...I actually like it.

2. ...I like the way I am with my daughter's firends. I'm in wonder of it, wondering why they think I'm so kewl...way kewler than their own parents. They talk to me about everyhting and I've even been asked to adopt a couple of them. They like me that much. Sometimes it makes me feel alittle foolish when I'm sitting in my living room with a bunch of teens and I seem to fit right in...I am going to refrain from doing that so much...but at least these kids know they can talk to me and they always have a safe place when something in thier life just isn't working out.

3. ...I like they way I try to simplify my life. Over the last few years I've gotten rid of so much clutter, and I'm not talking just about all those nick knacks, and I feel so much more free. Decluttering your mind and your home really does feel great...try it!

4. ...I accept myself the way I am. I don't feel I have to change for anyone. I don't beat myself up when I make a mistake, I learn from it and move on hoping that I am a better person because of it. I feel that I'm a pretty good person.

5. ...When I've been asked to do a job I do it my very best! My cleaning job isn't much but I take pride in the way I do it. No dust and dirt in that office! And if I have a week where I do it a little half assed, I freak out and go back and do it better the next week. Someday my way of doing things "just so" will pay off for me. I'll land a job and the boss will know I'll give it my all...

When Parents Regress

2005-06-29T06:39:00.000-05:00

Everyone who has children know that they go through periods of regression. Your 12 year old may all of a sudden decide that she hasn't quite outgrown her dolls or your 15 year old might decide that He wants to do tricks on his BMX. As parents we understand that this is all a part of growing up and accept it. Our children will continue to grow into beautiful young adults with no problems from thier brief regression. But what do you do when it's your aging parents that regress? Last night took the cake for me. I went over to check on Dad who had been feeling poorly all day. When I walked in he was on the phone to his sister and the two of them were talking like they were back in their "growing up" years. I'm not talking about when they were in thier 20's or 30's...I'm talking when they were about 5 or 6. I listened to my father talk like a little kid and act stupid and all I wanted to do was get out of there fast. He handed me the phone and while trying to talk to my aunt on the other end, he was in my face acting just a stupidly as when he was talking to her. I CAN'T TAKE IT! What makes our parents act this way? Is it their fear of growing older and will we act that way one day also? Is it his way of getting attention from his only sibling? I'm not saying that we all don't deserve to cut up and act silly once in a while. In the pressures of everyday life we all need a little bit of childhood left inside of us. What I witnessed with my father last night was way over the top though. So, how do I deal with this. How do I take on the role of being the more mature of the two? And is it just my parent that does this or do you all have aging parents out there that regress like this also? I'm not ready for Mom and Dad to be the ones in need of care...they are supposed to take care of me still. I'm still young! They are supposed to be the ones with all the wisdom and maturity...I'm supposed to be the one still making dumb mistakes. And does this just keep getting worse as they age? I'm sure my parents have another good 20 years of life left...what age will thier mind be then? That's it for this post...any insight into this misery would be greatly appreciated. Enjoy your days!

A Couple of Recipes to Share!

2005-06-27T19:24:00.000-05:00

Hot Taco Dip

2 Lbs Hamburg
1 c. Sour Cream
1 Jar Salsa (hot, medium, or mild)
1 Pkg. Taco or Fajita Seasoning
Shredded Cheese of your choice

Brown hamburg, drain. Mix with Sour Cream, Seasonings and Salsa. Put in 9x13 pan. Top with Shredded Cheese. Heat in 350 oven until cheese melts and everything is hot. Can be made ahead and just heated when ready to use.

Frozen Grape Granita

4 c. seedless red grapes
1 c. Pomergranate Juice (I found this in the fruit section of Hannaford...POM brand)
2 TBLS. Lime Juice
1/4 c. Superfine Sugar
Top with Vanilla Yogurt or Whipped Cream or enjoy plain

Place grapes in a 9x13 pan- freeze for 2 hours.
In a food processor, blend grapes, pom juice, lime juice, and sugar until fairly smooth. Return mixture to pan and freeze again for about 1 hour. stir with fork bringing firmer edges to the center and freeze again for 30 mins. When it is firm enough to serve (sorbet or sherbert texture) scoop into custard cups or margarita glasses. Garnish to your liking. ENJOY!

For a variation, use 1/2 green grapes and 1/2 red grapes for a sweeter dessert. Divide juices and sugar amoung the two grapes- freeze seperately in 8x8 pan. You can also use all green grapes for an even more interesting variation.

I hope you all enjoy these recipes. They are a couple of my favorites.

Let's Think Of Some Simple Things For A Change

2005-06-23T06:47:00.000-05:00

The smell of Lilacs in the spring
Your childs giggle that can only be her own
That unexpected kiss from your husband that he gave you "just because".
Lunamoth's attracted to the street lights
The water gently rippling over the rocks of the river bed
A Four Leaf Clover
Babies...so simple yet so complicated
Bumblebees...it's even a fun word to say!
A good Book
A Long Warm Soak in the Bubblebath
The First Kiss
Miracles!
Wishes!
Dreams!
Kenny G music
Listening to all those old stories for the 100th time.
Farm Stands with Fresh Produce
Geese teaching their babies how to swim
The four tiny eggs in the nest under the eaves
Sugar Gliders as they gentle glide to the next tree
Long walks on a beach holding that special someones hand
Sunsets
Sunrises
Puffy Cu against a blue sky...Is that an Angel I see?
The Majestic Bald Eagle...so carefree
a new found friendship
an old friendship renewed
Helping that old lady across the street
a good game of Badminton
Birds singing
Rustling of leaves as they dance on the gentle breeze
Your mother's familiar voice
Finding Sea Shells
The taste of your favorite meal
The smell of your favorite flowerthrough a field of flowers
Butterflies
the open ear of a great friend
Black and white pictures of days gone by
Laughter...EVERYDAY!
and no matter how much we'd like to disown them all...Our Families!
Stars on a clear summer night
Memories
Your old Red Tricycle...handed down to precious others
A Carousel Horse
The purr of a kitten
The miracle of birth
Koolaid Stands
watching your child sleeping, curled snuggly in their favorite blanket
Rainbows
Running barefoot

Never Content!

2005-06-21T17:27:00.000-05:00

I sit here thinking "it is so blessed hot! I wish it were just a bit cooler." Inside temp is about 95, with the fans going. Outside is about 80 right now but the sun is in that certain spot where you can't get away from it. My eyes are running like I have constant tears. I stick to absolutely EVERYTHING. Supper was a bitch to make and then to eat it was like trying to suck down cough syrup. The pool is calling my name but I jsut don't have the energy to go out there. A shower might help. I dread the idea of climbing into bed tonight knowing that sleep will evade. Hubby will throw off at least 25 degrees more than the air is. It's just going to suck.
Then I sit here thinking, "Gee it's nice to have sun since all we've had is rain. And the winter was SO long!" All of the plants are getting rot from the moisture. Spring was really sucky and the winter was SOOO long! We never had that transition time from cold to warm to hot....it just jumped from cold to hot. AND THE WINTER WAS SOOOOOOOOO LONG!

So I ask you this...Why can us Mainers never be happy with what we get? It's not like we can control it! Why can't we just accept the cold, long winters and damp spings? And the heat in the summer isn't all that bad is it? The stickies only last a day or two and you can always go get an air conditioner if it gets too dreadful.

Although I hate Maine weather, I wouldn't want to move away from here...not YET anyway. I love the whiteness of the new fallen snow and I love the sight of all the birds migrating back north in the Spring. I love the summer with it's dog days...being just as lazy as I want to be. And Fall is my favorite time of year. So with all of this said I will stop all the bitching and go outside to cherish the time I have here. Hope you aren't finding the weather here too offensive! Like the old cliche' "If you don't like the weather in Maine...wait a minute!"

Good things Bad things

2005-06-21T07:00:00.000-05:00

These things are fun...

Baby geese in the tall grass

A morning kiss from a baby

tan lines from the sandals you wore in the sun

a toasted marshmallow

a ride on an innertube, whether in the water or on the snow

Pickles!

the sun shining on my face

walking all day with the love of your life only to realize his fly has been open the whole time

catching your daughter with two inch long armpit hair, only because she was afraid to ask you how to shave it!

baby birds begging their moms to feed them...they are so like our own!

going shopping and not worrying about the amount of your husbands money you are going to spend!

These things are a drag...

Holes in my shoes

no money in my pocket

that damned razor cut you get EVERY TIME! No wonder she doesn't want to shave!

the egg dropped on your kitchen floor

the party the cats had on your deck the night before

tripping over that blessed stump for the fifteenth time

dishes in the sink

NO TOLIET PAPER!!!!! OH NO, Now what?

And the sun shining on my face!

Another Meme!

2005-06-16T18:52:00.000-05:00

Another MEME
Tagged by Melody. Thanks....What 5 Things do you miss about your childhood?
But first the rules to this meme game:Remove the blog at #1 from the following list and bump every one up one place; add your blog's name in the #5 spot; link to each of the other blogs for the desired cross pollination effect.
1.Loose Leaf http://looseleafnotes.com
2. Lu's News http://luann919.blogspot.com
3. Marti http://marti2212.blogspot.com/
4. Melody http://melslifeinanutshell.blogspot.
5. Julie http://thesimplethingsinlife.blogspot.com/
Next: Select new freinds to add to the pollen count (no one is obligated to participate)
1. Dawney http://morningrises.blogspot.com/
2. -A- http://motherswork.blogspot.com
3. Kathy http://chattykatty.blogspot.com/
4. JC http://Imamaniacnow.blogspot.com/
Let the game begin

1. I miss being able to be carefree...Gone are the days of hanging out with firends until midnight, sleeping in until noon, Using the two week plan when it comes to the men (you know, go out with them for a couple of weeks then have a new love interest)

2. I miss having a group of friends that just sit around and talk about silly things and do girl things like hair and make-up. There were several groups that I did this with growing up and we all used to have a blast. Now that we are "adults" we barely have time to grab breakfast with a friend.

3. I miss being able to dance without someone saying "Mom, you are embarassing me!". Dancing is a passion of mine. I used to dance all over the house and sing along to whatever song was playing...I could act Paradise outwhile singing it and dancing to it at the same time. At school dances I'd dance the entire night (unless I was makin out in the corner with some guy) and I had some awesome moves.

4. I miss my trips away to stay with Cheri and her family. She was my very best friend the whole time growing up and we experienced a lot together. I would go stay with her (Kittery) for a couple of weeks every summer and we'd also have our weekends at camp. We did everything...shopped, checked out hot guys, talked for hours about all the growing up stuff. I miss her and wish she could be a more substantial part of my life again...but time changes everything. We are still good friends but we are lucky if we talk once a year now.

5. I miss "Birches" ice cream. That was a little ice cream stand between here and Skowhegan and they made the absolute BEST ice cream in the world. Every weekend my mom would take us for a treat and we would get our favorite flavor (mine was their Chocolate Fudge Ripple) and sit under the birch trees (hence the name) and eat to our hearts content and we never worried about what it would do to our waistline. I didn't have many good family memories but this was one place it always seemed just perfect!

Now for the things I love about ME...

2005-06-16T09:47:00.000-05:00

1. I love that I have an appreciation for nature and all things natural. With so many factories and computers and perfumes and concrete buildings it's nice to just look at the trees and stars and listen to birds sing and notice how flowers grow. I've become a bird watcher over the past couple of years and I never realized how many different sounds they make and how many different colors their fethers have...it brings you back to the very first type of music and artwork! Think about it!

2. I love that I care...about everything. I care about the animals that are being abused...I care about the children in the world that are going hungry...I care about the destruction of the rain forests...I care about the elderly that have no strenth to care for themselves anymore. I also care about what people think and what they feel. When someone is sad, I am sad... When someone is happy I am happy. I even care about the butterflies taht get killed in the grills of our vehicles every day.

3. I love that I am opinionated. If we all saw things the very same way, with no individual opinions, the world would be a boring place. Sometimes my opinion gets me into trouble but I feel strongly that everyone should have a voice and be heard...even if it gets them nowhere.

4. I love that I have rythym. You can't truly enjoy music if you can't keep a beat. If you don't have rythym you can't descifer between the different instuments used in a song. I love that I can move my body in tune to any beat. I may not be the best dancer in the world but with the rythym I have I celebrate life every day.

5. I have really cute feet. I love them! Most people hate feet so I feel that I have accomplished a great thing to love that part of myself.

6. I love that I have a love for animals. All Animals! I can't explain this one...I just feel a strong connection to every animal I see. Maybe I was a monkey or cat or something in my former life.

I think that it's important to recognize the loves of yourself as well as the hates of yourself. For every one thing that you hate about yourself you should come up with two things that you love. It balances the force of nature! So when you think about what you'd like to change about YOU, think of all the things about YOU that are just right the way they are. I'll be posting my "loves" again...and I send out a challenge to anyone that this...I challenge you to post a "What I Love About Me" once a week...It's time to start feeling better about ourselves! And to keep it real, try to post a "Hate" once in a while also...we are not perfect!

Things I Hate About Me...In Response to Mel!

2005-06-16T09:24:00.000-05:00

1. I can never carry on a conversation with someone without saying something incredibly stupid and feeling like a complete ass. I enter a conversation trying to sound like an intelligent adult and by the end of the conversation I feel like a little kid with no clue as to what I'm saying.

2. I am scared to death to fly and because of that will NEVER see the things I dream of seeing. I can always drive but I haven't yet figured out how to get to Aruba in a car. And I'd never be able to get that much vacation time!

3. My child is my entire world and I'm afraid of what I'll be in five years when she's off starting her own life and I'm left here all alone. I can't imagine even one day without her voice and seeing her face. It scares the hell out of me to think about what I'll do once my job as Mom is done...and that time is almost here.

4. I hate that I have no self esteem. I don't apply for jobs because of fear of rejection due to my inabilities and I feel like a nobody because I skipped out on college. I never feel good enough as a mom or a wife. And I feel like a terrible person most of the time, like everything bad that happens is ALL MY FAULT.

5. I hate that I have no trust in anybody. Those that know me know why I have no trust and I think that's why I have very few REAL friends. After what has happened with my sister and certain close friends that I USED to have I just can't bring myself to trust in any relationship. I've been hurt too many times. This causes problems in my marriage and with the friendships I still have. I have tried to trust again, only to be crushed in the end. It's just not worth it to me.

6. I absolutely HATE the way I look. Now I know a lot of people feel this way...but how many of them wish they were Samantha Stevens and with a wiggle of the nose can become anything they want to be. I don't want to be a super model...I just want to be pretty. Maybe a little taller, a little skinnier, maybe if I just looked a little like a girl I'd feel better.

7. I hate that I can never just let anything go...I always have to drag out an argument until all parties involved are exhausted. I am a very opinionated person and when I argue a point about something I feel strongly about I just keep it going on and on and on and on and on...I do stop when I realize that I am wrong...but come on, how many times are we actually WRONG?

8. I don't just hate to drive in the city...I hate driving PERIOD! I'd rather clean toilets.

2005-06-09T15:01:00.000-05:00

Have You Ever?
Got this off mimi's blog, though it was a bit different and I've been unable to think of anything to post for a while. Enjoy and feel free to post it on your blog.snuck out of the house? No, but have certainly snuck people in. gotten lost in your city? No, But have gotten lost with my husband for about five hours in the woods above Bingham.seen a shooting star? Yes...And wished on every one I''ve seen. been to any other countries besides Canada - Not even close! had a serious surgery? Never...I've been very very lucky that way. gone out in public in your pajamas? Of course...I'd live int hem if I could get away with it. kissed a stranger? Yes, and I dream about him every night! hugged a stranger? - Yes Been arrested? No, but the cops caught me completely naked when I was young and stupid enough to not be able to control myself when it came to sex. laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose?No pushed all the buttons on an elevator? Yes swore at your parents? -NEVER! I think it's totally disrespectful! been in love? - yes. been close to love? - Yes been to a casino? -NO been skydiving? - No Skinny dipped? Yes, Every chance I get. skipped school? - Only one time and they made me clean the biology lab as punishment...and I even had to dump the pigs. seen a therapist - Have thought about it many times. done the splits? - Used to...not anymore though. played spin the bottle? Yup gotten stitches? -Never! drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour? I like milk but that's just wrong! bitten someone?- Not that I remember! been to Niagara Falls?- No gotten the chicken pox? - Yes, I was a year old and potty trained myself because of it. kissed a member of the opposite sex? yes crashed into a friend's car -no been to Japan? - No. ridden in a taxi? - No been dumped? Yes shoplifted?“ yes, It used to be fun to see who could do it and who would get caught...It was very very WRONG! .been fired? Nope. had a crush on someone of the same sex? No had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?“Absolutely" gone on a blind date?“ Yup...I married him" lied to a friend? - Never, I don't lie...and I'm really serious about that. had a crush on a teacher? - Have one right now. celebrated Mardi-Gras in new Orleans? - No been to Europe?- No slept with a co-worker?- No been married - Yes gotten divorced - No had children- Just one. seen someone die? yup...in my arms. been to Africa- no driven over 400 miles in one day - No.. been to US -yes, live there been to Mexico?“ No been to India? - No been on a plane? - Nope...scared to fly! seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show? - Of course! thrown up in a bar? Never. purposely set a part of myself on fire? - no eaten sushi? - Yuck! been skiing/snowboarding? - Yes, and it definitely isn't a sport for me! I'm lucky to still be living. met someone in person from the internet?- no gone to college/university? Not to study! graduated college/university?“ no fired a gun? - yes purposely hurt yourself ?“ no, - yesbeen intimate with someone of the same gender? - no

2005-05-26T19:01:00.000-05:00

How Fun
3 names I go by:Julie Mom Kristen's Mom3 Screen-names I've had:simplethingsinlife rubygem67 Lunamoth101392 3 physical things I like about myself:my feet I'm afraid thats it. 3physical things I dislike about myself: my face My ass My hair3 parts of my heritage:IrishEnglishand Indian3 things I am wearing right now:Jeans A new hoodie that I'm really excited about because I've NEVER had one and my anniversary gift (more like a suck up gift)3 favorite bands / musical artists:Ok, I'll agree with Meatlof, can't get enough of the loaf. Always the best...FLEETWOOD MAC and I really like Bo Bice on IDOL...He is so hot and the world needs more of something besides country music...YUCK3 (of many) favorite songs: Gold Dust Woman/The Chain (this one is a tie) "IF" And OF COURSE Paradise...we all know all the words! 3 things I want in a relationship: Romance (I know I won't have that in this lifetime...but I'm looking forward to the next one) Pampering Companionship 3physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to me:Physique (not the funky kind like my husband) Nice eyes and for once I'd like to find nice feet3 of my favorite hobbies:Listening to music Painting-although I'm not that good at it Gardening3 things I want to do really badly right now:Eat Drink and Be Merry3 things that scare me:Spiders Losing my daughter (in any way) and the most scary thing to me is death-kinda morbid huh?3 of my everyday essentials:Laughter Animals Love3 careers you have considered or are considering:Now if I knew this one I wouldn't be a stay at home mom!3 places you want to go on vacation:Anywhere tropical with tropical drinks Camp on the Carrabasset Africa3 kids' names you like:Katie Mary Johnny3 things you want to do before you die:swim with dolphins have a conversation with Micheal Jackson Have the world go back to horse and wagon days3 ways I am stereotypically a boy:If I cut my hair short I look like a boy Until I packed on 30 pounds I had no boobs I can't think of another one...isn't that enough3 ways I am stereotypically a girl:I hate the idea of any animal being hunted I watch chick flicks and cry during every one of them I love pretty things3 celeb crushes:Antonio Sabato Jr. Joe Lando-"Sully" on Dr. Quinn Most recently Bo Bice This is very depressing but I have nobody to tag...Mel is my only reader...I'm so sad

What a Week!

2005-05-09T20:12:00.000-05:00

So, the week started off before it even got here. Saturday was like any other Saturday until the phone rang. It was a "friend", so I thought, until we reached the end of the call. We talked about what we needed to talk about and then she turned rude for apparently no reason. That bothered me the entire rest of the day. I don't even know what happened...now there's even more tension to deal with. Skip to early int he week...Get a call form the school that the daughter is having some touble with a couple of friends. Pick her up from school and ask how her day was and water works start flowing...HEAVILY. For two hours she cried and felt pretty bad. Hurt is more like it. The mom in me wanted to hold her and tell her it would be alright but I know she has to work this one out herself. Another side of me wanted to go right to the instigators house and confront her...but what good would that do. This girl is an emotional wreck and her homelife sucks. She thrives on the attention she gets from getting into it with her friends...that said, it still wasn't right what she did to the girls. They were very upset when she tore the friendship necklace from her neck and threw it at my daughter...and it wasn't even my daughter she was angry with. My poor little girl just got caught in the crossfire. Three days spent in the Principals office is how I spent my week. He is very close to us and he felt so bad about it all he wanted to do was grab her and give her a hug but he couldn't because he couldn't show favoritism. So...on with the week. We spent every day in upset in some form. Just one thing after another...Then we get to Friday and the dance. The dance may have been the final one ever, except for proms and such. With the new administator comig in, we don't know the status of having dances next year. She had a blast with her friends...didn't dance much though. I was asked to chaperone as usual and she was excited about that...she wants me at EVERYTHING...I was doing my duties with the other chaperones there with no problem, UNTIL, about five of us chaps were pulled onto the dance floor by huge bunch of kids. They wanted us to dance with them...so we did...and after it was over I find out that my daughter was very embarassed by it and for the rest of the evening treated me like I was non-human. Mad is an understatement of how it made me feel. She wants me there but I can in no way have fun with it I guess. I talked to hubby about it and he is wild...thinks she is not treating me very nicely lately and it needs to stop. There are so many more details to my awful week...these make it look like a simple week actually...just too troubled by it all to keep writing about it. So, I ask you this...When does it start getting easier? I can answer myself, It doesn't. It just gets more complex. Will I survive? Yes, just like every other mom this stuff has happened to. Hope this reminds a fe of you that you aren't alone out there...it happens to all of us...

Mother's Day!

2005-05-09T09:49:00.000-05:00

The day has come and gone and I sit here wondering the purpose of the day. It used to be to honor mother's and the hard work they do and to show them how appreciated they are. Well, not in my house. I started my day out fine. Hubby came home after working all night and slipped quietly into bed without so much as a word that he appreciates me. No biggie! I pull myself out from the nice warm covers wishing that there were ONE day that I could just sleep in. After preparing for the day I get to the kitchen to have the daily bowl of oatmeal and at this point I am full of anticipation of what my darling little girl might be planning for my day. I wait! And wait...and wait....and wait... Finally at about 9:00 she sneaks from her bedroom to come and give me a big kiss on the cheek and say Happy Mother's Day. It felt nice...especially after the very trying week we both just went through. She decides that she is going to sit and do computer stuff for a while...still no biggie. The day goes on...hubby get's out of bed at about noon and sits in front of the TV. Still nothing about it being Mom's special day. I decide that I'm getting quite irritated by the whole thing and to make myself feel better...to pout is more like it...I do some laundry and clean the bathrooms and pour my heart into housework of all kinds. She still sits at the computer playing Sims and chatting with her friends...he is engrossed with a movie. Time for me to do something...off to get groceries for the week...still hoping that they might be planning at least a little something....NOT! After groceries the hubby says that he wants to stop at Agway to buy a polant or something for Mom's Day. Well, this irritated me even further. Nothing like waiting till the very last minute. I wasn't trying to be ungreatful but I had just been there a day or two before and saw nothing for plants that I wanted. I had bought a beautiful hanger for my mother there and didn't want to recieve the same thing...do you blame me? Two weeks ago I mentioned that Mother's Da was coming up and that I didn't want anything...just a day of rest and to be taken out for a nice meal so I wouldn't have to slave at the stove. Anyway, we drive past the Agway and now I'm not hte only one irritated...child is in the backseat feeling pretty bad and hubby is still oblivious of how we both feel. Home again...groceries put away by ME of course...still waiting for a decision on where we are going for din din and NOTHING! Not even an inkling that I might be taken away from my duties. Time is running out and now I have to make the decison that it will be meatloaf and fiddleheads and off to the kitchen I go. Two hours later we are sitting at the table eating sup and kid has been back at the computer all afternoon and hubby back in front of TV watchin some Ali fight from the 60's. The whole time din is cooking I am also vaccuming and folding the washed and dryed laundry and picking up the house and setting the table and you know, all the Motherly things. We eat, he leaves for work, she goes back to the computer and I head to the sink to wash the dishes because that's what Mother's Day is all about...doing all the motherly things. That was my Mother's Day...still no words other than a kiss on the cheek and a Happy Mothers Day from my daughter first thing that morning. To all you mom's out there....I certainly hope your's was way better than mine! Love to all...

One More Thing...

2005-04-25T07:33:00.000-05:00

There's a new toy in my parents life...just one more thing to drive me nuts! It's called a blood pressure machine. My mothers meds are causing her bp to go haywire so she now has to monitor it...no biggie right?! WRONG! Every morning now I listen to the same words from her as I read the morning news...""time to take my bp". My father comes into the room and has to have his turn...just one of about 15 turns that he'll take today. I listened to my mothers story of how Dad is driving her crazy with it all, eating like he is starving all day long, nonstop, then taking his bp once every hour or so. Mom isn't quite as bad but it's still the "topic on conversation" every time I try to visit them. I try to be the good kid and keep them a part of my daily life. But it is SO HARD! Little things like this are making me lose my mind! I just don't understand how two retired people can have such a hum-drum lifestyle that it takes a bp machine to make excitement for them. I want to yell at them to get a life and go have some fun! Their idea of fun...well, beano for mom and waiting for that one fishing trip per year for dad. Not much of a life and I feel bad for them. I hope when I'm that age I don't dislike my husband to the point where there's never any fun in our lives. So what do I do to bring excitement into their lives...and is it really my responsibility? I know we are supposed to take care of our aging parents, but... I suppose I could have another baby....I could always contract a disease that might not kill me but will give mom someone to care for for a while... I could have my house burn down and then have to move in with them so they feel needed...I don't know! I just wish they wouldn't so negative about everything and I really wish they wouldn't have to have turmoil in thier lives to be happy. It's not my idea of living!

The "Norm"

2005-04-24T19:14:00.000-05:00

I have friends that are very happy, staying up til all hours of the night and, on a whim, just to jump in the car and head off to Portland. I have other friends that eat dinner at 8:00 at night. Some of the people I know eat popcorn, pepperoni, and cheese and call it a good supper. Me on the other hand, I'm so "routine" it's scary. We are in the habit of eating dinner and 4:00 in the afternonn. Sometimes a little later but NEVER later than 6:00. We are in lounge wear soon after supper and have certain TV shows that are watched about five nights out of the week. I get up in the morning and after getting ready for the day I come out to the kitchen and fix oatmeal and turn on the computer to check email and blog if I have time before getting the kid off to school. On weekends, sleeping in means "whenever the cat walks on my chest". I rarely go out of the house after dark. Bedtime is usually the same time every night. My family life is very routine and it works for us. I have always complained about the way my mother does exactly the same thing day after day, week after week. Dad is the same way. Every morning off to Irving's to make the coffee and after hanging out there for an hour or two, he heads off to the hill to check for the deer. Mom gets up and takes the same exact steps to turn on the light and get the paper and light up and start the coffee. The rest of the day I could set my watch just by watching her and what she's doing. Every Tuesday and Sunday to beano, and it's forbidden that anything else, a.e. a party of some kind or cookout or kids sporting event, interfere with any of her normalities. I have always told myself that my life would NEVER be so routine. And look at me now. Here I am doing the same things. So, I'm ok with the way my family is and I accept the fact that everyone does their own thing and it works for them the same as me. So why do I see the neighbors out after dark having a good time and think "what in hell are they doing out so late? Don't they ever go to bed?" It bugs me! Maybe because there are so many times that I wish I wasn't so Routine! Now the problem is trying to figure out how to break away from the "Norm" and add a little spontaneity to life. I think it would be a good thing.

Mother/Daughter

2005-04-22T06:35:00.000-05:00

I sit here in an outfit my daughter picked out for me. Low rise jeans that make my underwear slide down to my knees, a tight brown baby tee that makes me look like I have way more up top than I actually do, painted toenails to slip into matching flip-flops, make-up put on "just so". It's mother/daughter day! We are off to get our hair done, together, because it would be a sin for me to actually go get a little pampering done to myself without her getting it done also. She has all sorts of ideas on how I should get my hair done. "Go all Reddish brown with streaks of different brighter reds and blondes. And have it layered because I love layered hair". Doesn't she realize I'm 25 years older than her? When I was growing up I always thought my mother was so uncool. She has always been a heavy smoker, never wore make-up, wore clothing that was the most unflattering stuff she could find...I suppose I should be flattered that my daughter thinks I have what it takes to be "hip", "kewl", "totally hot". But it makes me feel, well, I'm not sure how it makes me feel. A part of me thinks back to the days of string bikinis and when I look in the mirror and see what she has done to me today, well, I feel really good about myself. Like I still "got it". The other part of me longs for the comfortable lounge wear, or at least the loose fitting jeans that I don every day. Have to have something to hide all the belly fat and extra ass. I do look forward to this day...doing the girl things I've always dreamed of doing with her. I think of the future...will we still be doing these things when she's 25 and I'm 50? Oh God...I can't even think of it! Time is slipping away so quickly! I can only pray that we will be close like this when we are both "all grown up". So I'm off...to be a little "hip" and "kewl". If only time could stand still...

Picking Battles

2005-04-20T12:54:00.000-05:00

She comes into the house all excited with a bag from her favorite store. "Mom, look at what I got!", she exclaims. She pulls out a very cute black and lace cami that is way to old looking for her. She runs to her room to try it on. Out she comes looking so pretty. Even though she doesn't have quite enough to fill it out, it fits her snuggly and she looks like a beautiful young lady. This isn't the first time she has had the taste of a 25 year old. Most of her clothing now is very low waisted and so tight they look like they were painted on. She hates to shop the "girl's section" for a bra but isn't quite big enough for the missy versions. She's growing up! And I hate it. I could be like my mother used to be..."No, you are not going to where that hippie clothing! Go buy a baseball shirt! If I'm paying for it you are damned well going to wear what I want you to wear!" No! I choose to pick my battles with her. She is only experimenting with self expression. She couldn't care less that she isn't as well endowed as her friends...she thinks she is beautiful just the way she is. She is trying to find what makes her feel good about herself. So...I will not squirm when she wears the stuff you see at the local tavern...I'll just be thankful that she is full of self confidence and maturity at her young age. What will the next battle be? And will I have the calmness to deal with it without alienating her? Only time will tell...and only God knows what battles I should choose to fight about...