Thursday, July 14, 2005
The Dreaded Trip!
The day has come...You get up with a sunken heart knowing what lies ahead for you.
Day starts as usual, Breakfast, shower, clothing...you know it can't be all that bad right! Off you go...you get there and wait for what seems like hours. They call your name. You follow the girl into a small room. "Have a seat" she says politely. She asks a few simple questions then the process begins. First things first though, open mouth insert very large piece of cardboard that you have to bite painfully down on. Two on each side...this totally sucks so far. That process over you think to yourself, "Ok the worst is over". You are so wrong! The chair is getting sticky under your legs now. The anticipation is geting you all hot, and not in a good way either. She straps the so attractive little bib to you, sits gently on her stool next to your chair and tells you to open. Comes at you with what looks to be an etchin tool of some kind. Picks around every tooth with it. Hey, this isn't too bad! She says they look pretty good and you have a small sigh of relief. She turns then turns back to you with the monster hook..."Ok, now lets get started" she says. Your fingers clench around the arms of the chair. She starts to scrape, slowly at first, then more and more forcefully. Feels like she is trying to rip the enamel off each tooth. Oopps...she picks into your gums and as you sit there in agony she simply says,"Oh, a little sensitivity there huh?". DUH!!!!! She sits you up and asks you to rinse. When you spit blood fills the little bowl beside you. You think to yourself, "Is this some kind of slow torture chamber?" You lean back and she doesn't waste a minute to dive back in. She does each tooth carefully. You lay there thinking this can't take much longer. When she gets to the front teeth you start to cringe. You know the feeling is coming. Way worse than fingernails on a blackboard is about to happen to you. With the monster she starts to dig at your bottom front teeth. Oh the pain! With every scrape you feel like every nerve in your body is being picked at by that monster. Will it ever stop! "Oh Dear, it looks like a little Gingivitis has set in here. You really should floss more that you do you know!" With hook still protruding from mouth you try to tell her that you floss at least once a day and most of the time more than that. What does this girl know anyway? You were taught oral hygiene in grade school. You take care of your teeth properly and now this witch tells you you aren't doing it right! The nerve! Literally! THE NERVE! She just had to scrape one last time and as she did she hit the mother of all nerves. Your whole body feels like it does when you bump your funny bone or jam your knee into the hitch on the truck. OMG will you EVER get out of here? She sits back and asks what flavor. Mint of course...you outgrew the bubblegum years ago. YUCK! This is not your trusted toothpaste from home! Kinda tastes like that mint jelly served on those crackers at the inlows Christmas Party last year. And it is so gritty you feel like you are on the beach and some kid ust kicked sand on your lunch and you didn't know it. "Come on, let me spit!", you think to yourself. Nope, that would rinse off the good stuff. Yeah Right! She pulls out a strand of floss and says "Now when you are at home, don't do as I'm doing now." (Wait, didn't she just tell you to floss more?) "You should always floss BEFORE you brush" she says. She proceeds to show you a new way to brush your teeth. Instead of holding your toothbrush lengthwise along your teeth, hold it upright and then gently do each tooth individually. You are thinking this girl is a nut case. You don't have time to brush this way every day. Yippee! She's finished! Oops, she pushed the button to call in the big kahuna. In he comes, looks over your charts and sits on that blessed stool. Tells a few stories...VERY DRY SENSE OF HUMOR HERE! You roll your eyes back and think to yourself "will this experience ever end?" He does his thing...a little more gently than the girl did. "Hey they look great. Keep up the good work!" Off he goes. Feeling relieved you take the bib off yourself...you can't bleieve the girl forgot it and was going to make you go out into public with it still on your neck. The idiot! And You are Paying her Good Money For This! You get out as quickly as you can, get to your vehicle and sit there and enjoy a sigh of relief. It's over. Yes your teeth feel smooth as glass but your gums are still bleeding a little. You have a massive headache from all the tension. Now on with your day. Hell, you only have six months to go before you do it all over again.
I am off now to see if the visit to my dentist will be as I remember from my last journey there. Wish me luck and if I don't post for a while you'll know that they sent me to the chamber of doom this time. Live well All!
