My darling Baby Girl is still having some problems with the social aspect of 8th grade. Acedemically she's doing wonderfully...Loves the new French class that they added to the curricculum this year and she is holding an average in the high 90's for most of her classes. As a parent I should be glowing with pride at her accomplishments. Instead I'm filled with worry about her social life. Now, I say that lightly! After all, in 8th grade I am not even sure you can call it their "social life". She has many friends, both girls and boys and alike, and she cherishes those friendships. Maybe this is where the problems begin. Let me take you back a few weeks...

I had posted earlier about baby girl and her interest in "the new boy" in school. She had a crush as did half of the girls in the school. The boy had a girlfriend already so Baby Girl kind of admired him from afar, all the time wishing that he'd dump his girlfriend and ask her out. Well, that plan backfired for my daughter. The boy dumped the girlfriend and went out with a girl my daughter feels is more popular than she is. This made my daughter have feelings she didn't understand. She was partly angry and partly jealous. I personally think it was more jealousy than anything. Well, that romance lasted all of a week and then the boy asked one of Baby Girls best friends to go out with him and the friend said yes, not giving my daughters feelings a second thought. This is sort of where my problem with communication comes in...I've been trying to talk with her about how she shouldn't be so concerned with her friends getting angry with her for going out with a boy. There are several boys that she's interested in that other friends have gone out with before and she refuses to give these boys a chance for fear of hurting her girlfriends feelings. These girls certainly don't give my daughters feelings a second thought. I've tried talking with her about not waiting for that perfect boy...she has the hots for two boys in particular that don't feel the way she does for them. She's just holding out hoping that one of these boys will all of a sudden change their minds and start having feelings for her. The boys that do like her won't ask her out because they know she's going to say no to them.

When did it become so difficult talking to my baby? We used to talk about everything and for some reason she won't hear what I have to say about this boy issue. She won't listen to Dad either. He's seen the same things I have and his opinion is about the same as mine and when he talks to her about it she changes subject quickly. I have sat back lately watching and waiting for her to come to us, but she just won't open up about this stuff. We see the hurt on her face when all of her friends around her are in realtionships with boys and she's the only "single" in the group. We see how she feels out of place, like the third wheel, when hanging out with her friends and their boyfriends. We just can't seem to figure out how to help her through it.

I told her today that I wanted to set aside some mother/daughter time to talk about some things this weekend. I want her to know that it's ok to be single as long as that's what she really wants. I want to tell her to start living for herself and not for what her friends want. And I don't even know where to begin. When did I lose knowing how to talk to my own baby? Since she has friends over tonight ( yes, the two that are here are girlfriend/boyfriend) I will have to find time for that talk tomorrow. I only hope I can find the words and don't screw her up anymore than she already is. Wish me luck...that is IF I don't chicken out! Maybe I should make a wish in hopes of saying all the right things!