Tuesday, September 13, 2005
The Study Of Young Love!
It seems that this school year is all about first loves. I remember my first love...he was the cutest boy in school, (well, to me he was) and I would sit outside watching him and his buddies play touch football at lunch break (this is back when they still allowed kids to have "recess"). He even had a really kewl name, Spade! I pined over him for my entire seventh grade year and he never even glanced my way. It hurt me to know that he didnt' feel the same about me, gosh I don't even think I even said more than a qucik hello to him and I was so embarassed by that it's no wonder he never glanced my way. That year came and went and by the time eighth grade was upon me I was over him. Eighth grade was alittle different...I still was a little shy but boys seemed to flock to me for no reason. I had my choice of who I wanted to go out with. And I went out with a few. Nothing very serious, just innocent little "flings". The big thing to do at the time was to go Roller Skating on Friday and Saturday nights and I was smittem with more than a few boys I'd meet there...let's see, there was Chris, and Bobby, and Rudd, and Mike, and the list could be added to if I really wanted to but I'll stop there. It was always love at first sight and we'd "go out" for about two weeks then we'd both move on to someone new, no hard feelings and still great friends. By the end of eighth grade I had had my first "serious" , and I use the term loosely since serious back then meant we might have stolen a few kisses on the dance floor at the school dance or sat really close to each other while we hung out after football practice. Rudd used to serenade me with his Clarinet on the phone every night and I was Gah-Gah over him. It lasted about a month, maybe two, and then we went on our merry way to find the next true love.
Times have changed since then for kids and I'm seeing it first hand with my daughter and all her friends. Let's see...there's Erika, who went out with a boy for 1 year 7 months 2 days and 8 hours (yes she kept track!). They broke up recently and hate each other now...well, hate is a strong word, I would prefer saying they really don't want to be around each other at the moment. They had progressed to hand holding, cuddling and many many stolen kisses. At 12 and 13 years old I'm ok with this but a relationship lasting for that long at that age doesn't fly in my book. Now that boy likes my daughter but won't ask her out because he doesn't want to cause problems with her and her Erika. Daughter feels the same way. 
Then there's Patrick! Patrick is a boy who is very "feminine" acting. He gets teased all the time at school because the kids think he's gay but he really isn't. He has always been babied by his mom and she's always said "He's my girl!" because he didn't like tinkering on cars with his dad or playing rough sports and he didn't like the idea of killing anything. When a boy actually has a soft spot in his heart for things like this he get's "labeled" in this neck of the woods. Patrick befriends the girls very easily and he likes many of them, but because of what the other kids say none of them really ever thinks of him as Boyfriend Material. Until NOW! He has been best friends with a girl for a few years now and over the past few months has come to realize he likes her for way more than just a friend. I have observed them together and I know she feels the same about him. They are both shy and quiet so this realtionship has progressed slowly. Last night however she finally gave him an answer to a question he asked her a week ago and they are now GF/BF. Different than the other couples in school though...I don't think you'll be seeing them all cuddly and kissy for quite some time, if ever. Still, it's sweet love!
You also have the girls in school that dress the part...mini skirts so their undies (mostly thongs) show just a little and tight shirts cut down to there. They throw themselves at the cute jock type boys and make it know that they would be willing to do more than cuddle. I don't like this type of behavior in our young girls. But I'm only one parent and many of the others think it's acceptable. The boys, the cute ones anyway, naturally give more attention to this type of girl. Boys of today are labeled as strange if they haven't felt up a girl by the time he enters high school. So these boys in my opinion "use" these girls that flaunt their stuff for them just to put a notch on their belt and earn the standard of "kewl".
Then you have girls like my daughter. She is a good student and likes many boys. She dresses, what I call "conservatively sexy". She wears the hot styles but covers herself so she can hold on to her dignity. Make-up is always put on just so...not too dark and not un-noticeable. (is that a word?) She is a pretty girl, not the best looking in the school but pretty enough so some of the boys take notice. The problem here is that the wrong boys take notice. She never gets the boy she really likes to notice her for anything more than a friend. Or maybe it's because the boy she likes already has a girlfriend. I know in time the right boy will take notice and she will experience her first true love just as I did. She'll get her first kiss and learn about snuggling and I'll be watching it all, mortified that it's even happening. She won't let herself like some of the boys her friends have gone out with because she is afraid of losing a friendship over it. I suppose this is one of my daughters good qualities. I just don't want her missing out on what could be something special for her. Her time will come! 
Young Love has changed since I was in school. Fights between girls and boys happen more often because of invading ones "territory". Grudges are held way too long over stupid things. When I was in 8th grade I can't ever remember getting uspet over a friend liking a boy I may have liked before. I can't even remember fighting over a guy in high school...well, there was one incident but it wasn't me that was upset and it was all a misunderstanding...maybe I'll post about it someday! It's a sweet time in our children's lives and one that just may cause the death of us parents. Still it's young love at it's best!
