Sunday, September 04, 2005
Kids Say (and do) The Darndest Things...
My Friday night was like any other Friday night...work then home and kid was bored. She asked me to take her to the high school football game,
which I really didn't want to do. But being the great mom I am, I decided that it was better than sitting in front of the tube all night. She was so happy. We got there and baby girl went off with her friends immediately. I went up into the bleachers and sat alone...which I didn't mind as much as I thought I would. It was a nice night and I was comfortable so it wasn't all that bad. After a while a family, mom, Dad, and two young kids (each one having a friends with them) sat on the bleachers below me. I was at the top as to have something to rest my back against. the little girls went off to play but the little boys thought it would be more fun to climb to the top of the bleachers. Now, this doesn't sound like anyhting too exctiting to an adult or teenager, but to little boys about the age of 5, it's like climbing Mt. Everest. One of the little boys was very frightened and it took him almost the whole first half of the game to get brave enough to climb all the way up. The other little boy was much more daring. He was up to the top, where I was, in no time at all. I noticed he kept coming closer and closer to me but it didn't bother me much, I like kids most of the time. He came over after a few minutes and sat right beside me. He proceeded to tell me all about the game of football. He was giving me his play by play of the game and kept squirming from one side of me to the other. It was making me a little nervous because he wasn't very graceful. Sure enough he tripped and I caught him. Scared the shit out of me. Mom and Dad down below were trying to keep an eye on all the kids and caught his little trip out of the corner of their eye...they tahnked me for grabbing him and told him to come sit with them. He did but just for a little while. I could hear what he was telling his parents and he kept telling them that I was a really nice lady...
"mom, that lady up there is really nice...and she's really pretty too."
"you stay here and leave that nice lady alone so she can watch the game."
"oh, I don't think she minds...she's talking to me and we are becoming really good friends."
"why don't you go and play with your friend and sister."
The little boy had no intention of going off to play...he was too smitten by me.
He periodically came back to me through the course of the evening. He'd sit beside me and tell me all about stuff...
"Look, number 1 has the ball. They give it to him because he's the best player on the team. That's why he has the number one on his shirt."
"Oh is that so?"
"Yeah, when I get old enough to play I'm going to have that number. I am already better than all my friends."
"Oh really. You are that good are you?"
"You know, you are a nice lady. And you are really pretty too."
"well thank you."
"That's my friend coming up the bleachers. He's a scaredy cat because he's thinks it's too high up."
"Well, it is pretty high up here. You be careful ok."
Off he goes back to his mom and dad. He convinces dad that he's ready for some junk food. Off they go to the concession stand. Pretty soon they come back. At this point of the evening, Max, Simon, Patrick,Brett,n daughter, and a few other teenagers have joined me on the bleachers. When the little boy, his name is Luke by the way, I heard his parents call him by it, comes back and the older kids don[t bother him a bit. He pushes right past them on the bleachers just to come and sit beside me. He had some candy, a cowtale, and a stick of sour taffy. He also had a can of soda. While he was sitting beside me he was having some trouble getting his taffy open. The older kids keep laughing at him and his actions. My daughter is on the other side of me making friends with the other little boy, a new kid that just moved here from Queens New York. Max, a freshman, thought it was cute the way my little friend keeps getting closer and closer to me. I keep glancing down to see if the little boy has gotten into his taffy. His hands are completely green from it and sticky and he now has it torn into three or four smaller pieces.
I asked him if he needed some help with it. He said no. Then...ALL OF A SUDDEN...He turns to me and starts sticking his wet gooey taffy all over my bare arm. I just looked at him and as quickly as he did that he started licking my arm.
"what are you doing?'
"Nothing, just licking you" he says to me with a big green grin on his face.
I couldn't help it. I, along with Max and my daughter and a few of the other kids burst into laughter. We try to hide our chuckles from the little boy, not wanting to encourage him to do this again. Now, my arm is all sticky and gross and all I could do was just sit there and laugh. It was all so surreal.
The Dad finally turns to see what his little boy is up to.
"Luke, son, what are you doing up there?"
"Nothing Dad"
"Ah, you don't want to know what to know what he's been doing up here!" I said in a flash.
The dad decides it's time to come up and investigate. Sitting beside the little boy he asks him what he's been up to. The little boy replies "nothing"
"come on son, I know you've been doing something up here. Tell the truth."
"ok dad, I stuck the taffy on the lady's arm and licked it all off."
"luke, that's not a very nice things to do."
The little boy goes to sit by his mom who heard the whole thing and is mouthing to me her sincere apologies. The dad stays beside me and proceeds to tell me how his boy loves older women. (Older? Is that ME he's referring to? Am I OLD now?) He says apologies to me and goes back with his wife and kids. After taht the little boy didn't come back the rest of the 4 minutes left in the game.
The teenagers around me were laughing hysterically through the whole thing. I wonder if they would have been as grossed out as I was by it if it were happening to them?
Anyway, this is the way my Friday Night went. I can only hope that your's was as fun and eventful as mine was. I hope you found this funny and I hope it made your hearts all a little lighter. Til next time all...
