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Thursday, June 30, 2005
Likes and Dislikes
5 Dislikes...
1. ...The way I obsess about the neatness of my house. And believe me that it isn't the cleanest house in the wordl. I can't go to bed and sleep soundly if I know there is dirt on my floor and dishes in my sink. It's not a pigpen by any means...I just don't like walking across the wood floor and having litter and dust stick to the bottom of my feet. Right now I feel it is disgusting in here because of the heat we have been having...I haven't done a thourough cleaning for weeks. And nothing is more embarassing to me than having someone come to visit and my floor not being vaccummed.
2. ...I can't seem to just let things go...If someone doesn me wrong then I hold that inside for a very very long time. I will never forgive my own sister for the way she has treated me and some of the things my so called friends have done to me is so uncalled for. I know I should just write these people out of my life but I still feel the hurt they caused me and I just can't let go of it.
3. ...I need to stop complaining about my parents. They are both such negative people, but with good reasons, and I tend to complain a bit much about them. Many of my friends have lost one or both of their parents and I see how they miss them and they tell me they wish they had never ragged about them so much. I love my parents with all my heart and they know that but sometimes it just gets to me. One of my goals is to stop bitching about them and try looking at situations that arise as fond memories. I know they won't be with me forever.
4. ...I wish I could trust that I was a good parent to my daughter. I'm doing the best I can but sometimes I feel like I'm a little too mean...or that I'm handleing things wrong with her. Some days she sems so distant from me and I basically have to drag even a hello out of her. And I watch how she is with daddy and I get jealous because she'll cuddle and love him still and with me it's always standoffish. I know she loves me...I just hope I'm doing the right things and every day I doubt myself.
5. ...Being in control is a way of life for me and I hate it when I spin out of control. I'm not a very spontaneous person...I like to have a plan and stick to it...and I just can't catch up if those plans change. That's why I don't make permanent plans too far in advance...something always screws them up and I feel like I'm out of control. I am working on being a more "go with the flow" type person...hope I learn how soon.
OK...Now for the 5 likes...
1....I am always willing to try something new...and I usually love what I try. This past weekend I tried kayaking for the first tme and now I own three new kayaks and am very excited about it. I'm even like that with food...I'll try anything. And the entire time I was younger, I hated everything that went into my mouth. So I thinks it's great that I can actually swallow broccoli and not cringe...I actually like it.
2. ...I like the way I am with my daughter's firends. I'm in wonder of it, wondering why they think I'm so kewl...way kewler than their own parents. They talk to me about everyhting and I've even been asked to adopt a couple of them. They like me that much. Sometimes it makes me feel alittle foolish when I'm sitting in my living room with a bunch of teens and I seem to fit right in...I am going to refrain from doing that so much...but at least these kids know they can talk to me and they always have a safe place when something in thier life just isn't working out.
3. ...I like they way I try to simplify my life. Over the last few years I've gotten rid of so much clutter, and I'm not talking just about all those nick knacks, and I feel so much more free. Decluttering your mind and your home really does feel great...try it!
4. ...I accept myself the way I am. I don't feel I have to change for anyone. I don't beat myself up when I make a mistake, I learn from it and move on hoping that I am a better person because of it. I feel that I'm a pretty good person.
5. ...When I've been asked to do a job I do it my very best! My cleaning job isn't much but I take pride in the way I do it. No dust and dirt in that office! And if I have a week where I do it a little half assed, I freak out and go back and do it better the next week. Someday my way of doing things "just so" will pay off for me. I'll land a job and the boss will know I'll give it my all...
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
When Parents Regress
Everyone who has children know that they go through periods of regression. Your 12 year old may all of a sudden decide that she hasn't quite outgrown her dolls or your 15 year old might decide that He wants to do tricks on his BMX. As parents we understand that this is all a part of growing up and accept it. Our children will continue to grow into beautiful young adults with no problems from thier brief regression. But what do you do when it's your aging parents that regress? Last night took the cake for me. I went over to check on Dad who had been feeling poorly all day. When I walked in he was on the phone to his sister and the two of them were talking like they were back in their "growing up" years. I'm not talking about when they were in thier 20's or 30's...I'm talking when they were about 5 or 6. I listened to my father talk like a little kid and act stupid and all I wanted to do was get out of there fast. He handed me the phone and while trying to talk to my aunt on the other end, he was in my face acting just a stupidly as when he was talking to her. I CAN'T TAKE IT! What makes our parents act this way? Is it their fear of growing older and will we act that way one day also? Is it his way of getting attention from his only sibling? I'm not saying that we all don't deserve to cut up and act silly once in a while. In the pressures of everyday life we all need a little bit of childhood left inside of us. What I witnessed with my father last night was way over the top though. So, how do I deal with this. How do I take on the role of being the more mature of the two? And is it just my parent that does this or do you all have aging parents out there that regress like this also? I'm not ready for Mom and Dad to be the ones in need of care...they are supposed to take care of me still. I'm still young! They are supposed to be the ones with all the wisdom and maturity...I'm supposed to be the one still making dumb mistakes. And does this just keep getting worse as they age? I'm sure my parents have another good 20 years of life left...what age will thier mind be then? That's it for this post...any insight into this misery would be greatly appreciated. Enjoy your days!
Monday, June 27, 2005
A Couple of Recipes to Share!
Hot Taco Dip
2 Lbs Hamburg
1 c. Sour Cream
1 Jar Salsa (hot, medium, or mild)
1 Pkg. Taco or Fajita Seasoning
Shredded Cheese of your choice
Brown hamburg, drain. Mix with Sour Cream, Seasonings and Salsa. Put in 9x13 pan. Top with Shredded Cheese. Heat in 350 oven until cheese melts and everything is hot. Can be made ahead and just heated when ready to use.
Frozen Grape Granita
4 c. seedless red grapes
1 c. Pomergranate Juice (I found this in the fruit section of Hannaford...POM brand)
2 TBLS. Lime Juice
1/4 c. Superfine Sugar
Top with Vanilla Yogurt or Whipped Cream or enjoy plain
Place grapes in a 9x13 pan- freeze for 2 hours.
In a food processor, blend grapes, pom juice, lime juice, and sugar until fairly smooth. Return mixture to pan and freeze again for about 1 hour. stir with fork bringing firmer edges to the center and freeze again for 30 mins. When it is firm enough to serve (sorbet or sherbert texture) scoop into custard cups or margarita glasses. Garnish to your liking. ENJOY!
For a variation, use 1/2 green grapes and 1/2 red grapes for a sweeter dessert. Divide juices and sugar amoung the two grapes- freeze seperately in 8x8 pan. You can also use all green grapes for an even more interesting variation.
I hope you all enjoy these recipes. They are a couple of my favorites.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Let's Think Of Some Simple Things For A Change
- The smell of Lilacs in the spring
- Your childs giggle that can only be her own
- That unexpected kiss from your husband that he gave you "just because".
- Lunamoth's attracted to the street lights
- The water gently rippling over the rocks of the river bed
- A Four Leaf Clover
- Babies...so simple yet so complicated
- Bumblebees...it's even a fun word to say!
- A good Book
- A Long Warm Soak in the Bubblebath
- The First Kiss
- Miracles!
- Wishes!
- Dreams!
- Kenny G music
- Listening to all those old stories for the 100th time.
- Farm Stands with Fresh Produce
- Geese teaching their babies how to swim
- The four tiny eggs in the nest under the eaves
- Sugar Gliders as they gentle glide to the next tree
- Long walks on a beach holding that special someones hand
- Sunsets
- Sunrises
- Puffy Cu against a blue sky...Is that an Angel I see?
- The Majestic Bald Eagle...so carefree
- a new found friendship
- an old friendship renewed
- Helping that old lady across the street
- a good game of Badminton
- Birds singing
- Rustling of leaves as they dance on the gentle breeze
- Your mother's familiar voice
- Finding Sea Shells
- The taste of your favorite meal
- The smell of your favorite flowerthrough a field of flowers
- Butterflies
- the open ear of a great friend
- Black and white pictures of days gone by
- Laughter...EVERYDAY!
- and no matter how much we'd like to disown them all...Our Families!
- Stars on a clear summer night
- Memories
- Your old Red Tricycle...handed down to precious others
- A Carousel Horse
- The purr of a kitten
- The miracle of birth
- Koolaid Stands
- watching your child sleeping, curled snuggly in their favorite blanket
- Rainbows
- Running barefoot
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Never Content!
I sit here thinking "it is so blessed hot! I wish it were just a bit cooler." Inside temp is about 95, with the fans going. Outside is about 80 right now but the sun is in that certain spot where you can't get away from it. My eyes are running like I have constant tears. I stick to absolutely EVERYTHING. Supper was a bitch to make and then to eat it was like trying to suck down cough syrup. The pool is calling my name but I jsut don't have the energy to go out there. A shower might help. I dread the idea of climbing into bed tonight knowing that sleep will evade. Hubby will throw off at least 25 degrees more than the air is. It's just going to suck.
Then I sit here thinking, "Gee it's nice to have sun since all we've had is rain. And the winter was SO long!" All of the plants are getting rot from the moisture. Spring was really sucky and the winter was SOOO long! We never had that transition time from cold to warm to hot....it just jumped from cold to hot. AND THE WINTER WAS SOOOOOOOOO LONG!
So I ask you this...Why can us Mainers never be happy with what we get? It's not like we can control it! Why can't we just accept the cold, long winters and damp spings? And the heat in the summer isn't all that bad is it? The stickies only last a day or two and you can always go get an air conditioner if it gets too dreadful.
Although I hate Maine weather, I wouldn't want to move away from here...not YET anyway. I love the whiteness of the new fallen snow and I love the sight of all the birds migrating back north in the Spring. I love the summer with it's dog days...being just as lazy as I want to be. And Fall is my favorite time of year. So with all of this said I will stop all the bitching and go outside to cherish the time I have here. Hope you aren't finding the weather here too offensive! Like the old cliche' "If you don't like the weather in Maine...wait a minute!"
Good things Bad things
These things are fun...
Baby geese in the tall grass
A morning kiss from a baby
tan lines from the sandals you wore in the sun
a toasted marshmallow
a ride on an innertube, whether in the water or on the snow
Pickles!
the sun shining on my face
walking all day with the love of your life only to realize his fly has been open the whole time
catching your daughter with two inch long armpit hair, only because she was afraid to ask you how to shave it!
baby birds begging their moms to feed them...they are so like our own!
going shopping and not worrying about the amount of your husbands money you are going to spend!
These things are a drag...
Holes in my shoes
no money in my pocket
that damned razor cut you get EVERY TIME! No wonder she doesn't want to shave!
the egg dropped on your kitchen floor
the party the cats had on your deck the night before
tripping over that blessed stump for the fifteenth time
dishes in the sink
NO TOLIET PAPER!!!!! OH NO, Now what?
And the sun shining on my face!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
Another Meme!
Another MEME
Tagged by Melody. Thanks....What 5 Things do you miss about your childhood?
But first the rules to this meme game:Remove the blog at #1 from the following list and bump every one up one place; add your blog's name in the #5 spot; link to each of the other blogs for the desired cross pollination effect.
1.Loose Leaf http://looseleafnotes.com
2. Lu's News http://luann919.blogspot.com
3. Marti http://marti2212.blogspot.com/
4. Melody http://melslifeinanutshell.blogspot.
5. Julie http://thesimplethingsinlife.blogspot.com/
Next: Select new freinds to add to the pollen count (no one is obligated to participate)
1. Dawney http://morningrises.blogspot.com/
2. -A- http://motherswork.blogspot.com
3. Kathy http://chattykatty.blogspot.com/
4. JC http://Imamaniacnow.blogspot.com/
Let the game begin
1. I miss being able to be carefree...Gone are the days of hanging out with firends until midnight, sleeping in until noon, Using the two week plan when it comes to the men (you know, go out with them for a couple of weeks then have a new love interest)
2. I miss having a group of friends that just sit around and talk about silly things and do girl things like hair and make-up. There were several groups that I did this with growing up and we all used to have a blast. Now that we are "adults" we barely have time to grab breakfast with a friend.
3. I miss being able to dance without someone saying "Mom, you are embarassing me!". Dancing is a passion of mine. I used to dance all over the house and sing along to whatever song was playing...I could act Paradise outwhile singing it and dancing to it at the same time. At school dances I'd dance the entire night (unless I was makin out in the corner with some guy) and I had some awesome moves.
4. I miss my trips away to stay with Cheri and her family. She was my very best friend the whole time growing up and we experienced a lot together. I would go stay with her (Kittery) for a couple of weeks every summer and we'd also have our weekends at camp. We did everything...shopped, checked out hot guys, talked for hours about all the growing up stuff. I miss her and wish she could be a more substantial part of my life again...but time changes everything. We are still good friends but we are lucky if we talk once a year now.
5. I miss "Birches" ice cream. That was a little ice cream stand between here and Skowhegan and they made the absolute BEST ice cream in the world. Every weekend my mom would take us for a treat and we would get our favorite flavor (mine was their Chocolate Fudge Ripple) and sit under the birch trees (hence the name) and eat to our hearts content and we never worried about what it would do to our waistline. I didn't have many good family memories but this was one place it always seemed just perfect!
Now for the things I love about ME...
1. I love that I have an appreciation for nature and all things natural. With so many factories and computers and perfumes and concrete buildings it's nice to just look at the trees and stars and listen to birds sing and notice how flowers grow. I've become a bird watcher over the past couple of years and I never realized how many different sounds they make and how many different colors their fethers have...it brings you back to the very first type of music and artwork! Think about it!
2. I love that I care...about everything. I care about the animals that are being abused...I care about the children in the world that are going hungry...I care about the destruction of the rain forests...I care about the elderly that have no strenth to care for themselves anymore. I also care about what people think and what they feel. When someone is sad, I am sad... When someone is happy I am happy. I even care about the butterflies taht get killed in the grills of our vehicles every day.
3. I love that I am opinionated. If we all saw things the very same way, with no individual opinions, the world would be a boring place. Sometimes my opinion gets me into trouble but I feel strongly that everyone should have a voice and be heard...even if it gets them nowhere.
4. I love that I have rythym. You can't truly enjoy music if you can't keep a beat. If you don't have rythym you can't descifer between the different instuments used in a song. I love that I can move my body in tune to any beat. I may not be the best dancer in the world but with the rythym I have I celebrate life every day.
5. I have really cute feet. I love them! Most people hate feet so I feel that I have accomplished a great thing to love that part of myself.
6. I love that I have a love for animals. All Animals! I can't explain this one...I just feel a strong connection to every animal I see. Maybe I was a monkey or cat or something in my former life.
I think that it's important to recognize the loves of yourself as well as the hates of yourself. For every one thing that you hate about yourself you should come up with two things that you love. It balances the force of nature! So when you think about what you'd like to change about YOU, think of all the things about YOU that are just right the way they are. I'll be posting my "loves" again...and I send out a challenge to anyone that this...I challenge you to post a "What I Love About Me" once a week...It's time to start feeling better about ourselves! And to keep it real, try to post a "Hate" once in a while also...we are not perfect!
Things I Hate About Me...In Response to Mel!
1. I can never carry on a conversation with someone without saying something incredibly stupid and feeling like a complete ass. I enter a conversation trying to sound like an intelligent adult and by the end of the conversation I feel like a little kid with no clue as to what I'm saying.
2. I am scared to death to fly and because of that will NEVER see the things I dream of seeing. I can always drive but I haven't yet figured out how to get to Aruba in a car. And I'd never be able to get that much vacation time!
3. My child is my entire world and I'm afraid of what I'll be in five years when she's off starting her own life and I'm left here all alone. I can't imagine even one day without her voice and seeing her face. It scares the hell out of me to think about what I'll do once my job as Mom is done...and that time is almost here.
4. I hate that I have no self esteem. I don't apply for jobs because of fear of rejection due to my inabilities and I feel like a nobody because I skipped out on college. I never feel good enough as a mom or a wife. And I feel like a terrible person most of the time, like everything bad that happens is ALL MY FAULT.
5. I hate that I have no trust in anybody. Those that know me know why I have no trust and I think that's why I have very few REAL friends. After what has happened with my sister and certain close friends that I USED to have I just can't bring myself to trust in any relationship. I've been hurt too many times. This causes problems in my marriage and with the friendships I still have. I have tried to trust again, only to be crushed in the end. It's just not worth it to me.
6. I absolutely HATE the way I look. Now I know a lot of people feel this way...but how many of them wish they were Samantha Stevens and with a wiggle of the nose can become anything they want to be. I don't want to be a super model...I just want to be pretty. Maybe a little taller, a little skinnier, maybe if I just looked a little like a girl I'd feel better.
7. I hate that I can never just let anything go...I always have to drag out an argument until all parties involved are exhausted. I am a very opinionated person and when I argue a point about something I feel strongly about I just keep it going on and on and on and on and on...I do stop when I realize that I am wrong...but come on, how many times are we actually WRONG?
8. I don't just hate to drive in the city...I hate driving PERIOD! I'd rather clean toilets.
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Have You Ever?
Got this off mimi's blog, though it was a bit different and I've been unable to think of anything to post for a while. Enjoy and feel free to post it on your blog.snuck out of the house? No, but have certainly snuck people in. gotten lost in your city? No, But have gotten lost with my husband for about five hours in the woods above Bingham.seen a shooting star? Yes...And wished on every one I''ve seen. been to any other countries besides Canada - Not even close! had a serious surgery? Never...I've been very very lucky that way. gone out in public in your pajamas? Of course...I'd live int hem if I could get away with it. kissed a stranger? Yes, and I dream about him every night! hugged a stranger? - Yes Been arrested? No, but the cops caught me completely naked when I was young and stupid enough to not be able to control myself when it came to sex. laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose?No pushed all the buttons on an elevator? Yes swore at your parents? -NEVER! I think it's totally disrespectful! been in love? - yes. been close to love? - Yes been to a casino? -NO been skydiving? - No Skinny dipped? Yes, Every chance I get. skipped school? - Only one time and they made me clean the biology lab as punishment...and I even had to dump the pigs. seen a therapist - Have thought about it many times. done the splits? - Used to...not anymore though. played spin the bottle? Yup gotten stitches? -Never! drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour? I like milk but that's just wrong! bitten someone?- Not that I remember! been to Niagara Falls?- No gotten the chicken pox? - Yes, I was a year old and potty trained myself because of it. kissed a member of the opposite sex? yes crashed into a friend's car -no been to Japan? - No. ridden in a taxi? - No been dumped? Yes shoplifted?“ yes, It used to be fun to see who could do it and who would get caught...It was very very WRONG! .been fired? Nope. had a crush on someone of the same sex? No had feelings for someone who didn't have them back?“Absolutely" gone on a blind date?“ Yup...I married him" lied to a friend? - Never, I don't lie...and I'm really serious about that. had a crush on a teacher? - Have one right now. celebrated Mardi-Gras in new Orleans? - No been to Europe?- No slept with a co-worker?- No been married - Yes gotten divorced - No had children- Just one. seen someone die? yup...in my arms. been to Africa- no driven over 400 miles in one day - No.. been to US -yes, live there been to Mexico?“ No been to India? - No been on a plane? - Nope...scared to fly! seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show? - Of course! thrown up in a bar? Never. purposely set a part of myself on fire? - no eaten sushi? - Yuck! been skiing/snowboarding? - Yes, and it definitely isn't a sport for me! I'm lucky to still be living. met someone in person from the internet?- no gone to college/university? Not to study! graduated college/university?“ no fired a gun? - yes purposely hurt yourself ?“ no, - yesbeen intimate with someone of the same gender? - no
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